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My Old Buddy is Very Sick

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Uurgh! Buddy has been up and down now. Tuesday and Wednesday he was really lethargic and logy again - to the point that I thought he was fading - but then today he perked up and took two happy walks.

 

I'm wondering if he doesn't have some sort of a back strain or vertebral disease on top of whatever made him so sick the first time... and when the back thing hurts, he finds it hard to move. (Excess pain?) Or maybe the whole thing is a vertebral issue, and the platelet thing was happening alongside but without symptoms?

 

Anyway, this up and down thing is killing me. I'm literally just going day by day at this point, and when Buddy doesn't seem to have any enjoyment in the day I will make the call. When he's feeling bad, it literally makes my stomach hurt. This is the WORST THING about loving a dog.

 

(Thanks for letting me vent here. There's only so many times your friends and family will listen to you cry about your dog.)

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You need a safe place to vent. I know that this is hard on both of you.

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It's can be so hard to know what's the right thing to do or the right timing for making the decision, especially when things change on a day to day basis.

 

Please feel free to vent. It can be helpful knowing there's a friendly place to express the emotional turmoil you're bound to be feeling when things aren't very clear cut.

 

Continued best wishes . . .

 

roxanne

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I'm so sorry you are going through this. Just know that there are many people here who have been exactly where you are, waiting for this day to be The Day. Vent all you want. We understand.

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I'm so sorry for your pain and for Buddy's also. It's so hard to know the right thing to do and you always second guess yourself. Those of us who truly love our dogs and want what is best for them have this gut wrenching stress since they can't tell us what they themselves want to do.

My first Border Collie had a splenic mass that ruptured one night. I got him to the emergency office in time for them to do surgery and remove his spleen. It was hemangiosarcoma. He lasted another 9 weeks after that. Eight weeks that he was in good spirits and enjoying life and one week of a steady decline. The cancer had spread and he constantly had micro bleeds. He was to the point that he needed a blood transfusion and was eating next to nothing. Having him euthanised was the hardest decision I have ever had to make although it sounds like a no-brainer. That dog loved me and only ever wanted to be with me and I felt like I was betraying that. Logically I know that I saved him from a horrible, painful death but it still hurts.

If Buddy has autoimmune that does have ups and downs. Maybe his platelet count is going down again and the pred needs increased. I work as a Vet Tech and a few years back we had a Lab with autoimmune. He was on both Pred and Azothioprine (just pred didn't work.) At one point he was so bad that the owners dug a grave for him. Six months later they had to fill in the empty hole, Mac would go over and look into it (his grave) when he was out in the yard. He is still doing good.

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I know about the ups and downs. I have a 2 yr old (not quite) that got sick with a myelitis infection of some sort that paralyzed him from the mid back down. It's been a long road of recovery in this one year and as much as I will myself to think he has 100% recovered....in reality, he hasn't. Some days he really labors to move around and I can't tell if he's in pain or not. But when I see that back right paw curl under (like today) ...I say to myself..."Not again,,,Please....not again".

 

Cheers and empathy.

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So sorry to read this. Sending more good mojo for you and Buddy. And yes, this is by far the hardest part of having a dog in your life.

 

I second the suggestion to come here and vent as much as you need to.

 

Ruth and SuperGibbs

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Buddy had a really good day yesterday: took two walks, was eating everything I offered him, played with his toys. Then he lay down last night and had a hard time getting up this morning. He wouldn't drink the last sip of my tea - one of his favorite morning rituals - and would barely eat, because he seemed to be in a lot of pain. I took him up to the emergency vet and had him put to sleep.

 

Thanks to everyone for your support and replies. I had really feared letting him go too long - but this morning, seeing how he couldn't enjoy his favorite things, I felt like it was an obvious gift to let him go.

 

He was the best, kindest, most obliging, sweetest (grouchiest) dog.

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I am so sorry. You and Buddy obviously had a very special relationship and right to the end, you took the best care of him, as heartbreaking as it was to make that decision. A peaceful death with the person he loved most in the world by his side was the last gift you could give him. I hope you will find comfort in all your happy memories of your Buddy.

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Somehow they always let us know when 'that time' has come.

 

I am very sorry for your loss.

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I'm so very sorry. It's not any easier when it's expected, either. I hope you can find comfort in knowing that Buddy had a wonderful life with you and that you gave him the greatest kindness of all at the end by freeing him from his pain.

 

My heart goes out to you . . .

 

roxanne

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