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What to expect (from the dog) when you’re expecting?


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Hello all. I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and here’s to a healthy and happy 2015!

 

I still quietly troll the boards as often as possible but it’s been radio silence on my end for quite some time now. That’s largely because 2014 was a rather eventful year for my household. My husband and I purchased our first home this past summer and then almost immediately found out that we’d be extending our two-legged family! In the whirlwind of trying to move into our house and mentally prepare for our new addition we got another bomb dropped on us. Apparently we signed up for the “two for one” discount… Twins!!! :blink:

 

I’m reaching out to the knowledgeable people of these boards for insight on what to expect from (and how to best prepare) Camden (2 ½ year old, high energy BC) for the general chaos of two babies suddenly dropped into our lives. I want to do everything I can to set him up for success and have him develop a healthy and positive relationship with the girls from day one.

 

So, any general advice on how to properly prepare and introduce a dog to newborn babies would be greatly appreciated. Is there anything I can do ahead of time to set him up for success? I’m also wondering what my expectations should be of how the dog interacts with the babies. Should he give them a lot of space or should I encourage engagement?

 

And of course if there’s anything I just haven’t thought of I’d love general feedback on dogs (specifically BCs) and babies and how to get this whole thing started on the right track. Thanks in advance for ANY advice… I have a feeling I'm gonna' need all the help I can get! :rolleyes:

 

ETA: Oops, it might help to mention that the babies are due to get here in late April, although my doc has explained to me that multiples almost always arrive a few weeks early. Thought that info was worth adding!

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I'm sure others will have better recommendations than I (who have no kids and could only give you academic suggestions ;) ), but I do want to congratulate you on the new home and especially the new family!!

 

I'm sure you'll be fine as you always have a level head about Camden.

 

What an exciting time for you all!

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If he has never met a baby before I would start by possibly having a friend over with her baby while Camden is on a leash. What you need to work on before the next step depends on his reaction to the baby.

 

Next I would make sure that before you bring them home you bring home something that smells like them and let Camden get used to their smell. Make sure he understands he can only smell the object and not tug or chew on it. This will help associate that he is only allowed to smell objects and humans with that scent.

 

This part may be obvious, but do not ever leave Camden unattended with the babies. No matter how well behaved he seems around them. He could accidentally hurt one of them trying to play. In the beginning short supervised visits will be much better for him. I would put a baby gate up to separate him from the babies room at least in the beginning.

 

ETA: I know it will be hard, but do your best to keep Camden's routine the same. Problems can occur if he is used to a certain schedule and suddenly his whole world is turned upside down and nothing is on time anymore. If you know your schedule will be changing slowly transition him onto the new routine BEFORE the babies show up. Then he will not associate the babies with his whole life being 'ruined' for lack of a better word.

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Congratulations!

 

Edit: Cass beat me to most of the points! :)

 

I've heard that it's a really good idea for someone to bring home something that smells like the babies from the hospital (one of those little hats, a blanket, anything with a scent) and let the dog sniff and become accustomed to the smell before anyone comes home. Also, you should greet your dog by yourself before you bring the babies in so that he gets the excitement out of his system after not seeing you for a few days and gets to feel special again before you introduce the newest family members. Meeting them should be a positive experience with treats and toys available in case his excitement needs some redirection.

 

I just started researching how to introduce pup to a baby because my husband and I are expecting next summer...There seem to be a lot of resources online and maybe even your doctor could offer some advice if he/she has experience or other patients with dogs. Do you have friends with babies or small children? Perhaps if Camden hasn't been introduced to babies before, a short intro with willing friends might help him start to understand the tiny humans who will become a permanent part of his world soon.

 

It seems that the most common message to new parents is that the dog needs to continue feeling special and as a part of the family. Dogs that feel like their place in the family is secure largely do well with welcoming babies from what I've read. From past experience, when my siblings were born (they're MUCH younger than me), our dog (black lab/rottweiler) really wanted nothing to do with them 98% of the time. The remaining 2%, he really wanted to shove his nose in their faces to lick them. We always let him sniff and nudge, but he got bored because the baby didn't have anything edible. He also really hated the crying - he'd get up, look insulted, and leave. Our parents never really encouraged him to actively play with the little kids because of his size, but once they grew up a little, his favorite activity was waiting under the high chairs for dropped food and the kids loved laying down on his back and snuggling as toddlers (probably wasn't such a great idea). His routine stayed largely the same after each of the younger kids was born because he was mostly my responsibility and he didn't exhibit any adverse behaviors or stress.

 

Perhaps someone with a newborn or small child will read this and give their experiences too! Congratulations again!!!

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Congratulations to both of you!

 

Not a parent here but I was a live-in nanny for a newborn and 1 y/o and had my Border Collie along with me.

 

Extra help - you'll need it! If at all possible, get a grandparent or someone to babysit for an hour or so several times a week so you can get out for some exercise with your dog. You'll feel like a new person and your dog will be happy and satisfied. If someone else isn't available, take turns with your spouse/SO

 

Plan ahead for time that may be spent at the hospital - Find a dog friend that can either take Camden or stop by/stay at your home in the event that your babies need to spend extra time at the hospital.

 

Bring out the baby equipment now - run the swings, put the car seats in the corner, play with some noise making toys, get him used to all that stuff now and he won't need to later.

 

Change your routine - if he's used to cuddling on the couch, play games to get him used to spending time on the floor (for feeding time!). Have a few kongs on hand that you keep in the freezer so he has quiet activities when you're busy with the babies. Have a mat or crate set up where he can go with the kong.

 

Figure out how to tell him what you want - when you change diapers, where should he be? When you feed the babies, what do you want him to do? Figure out your "ideal" and train for it now.

 

Think about a "kid free" zone for the dog now - a bedroom, gated off area, etc. You won't need it right away, but when the kiddos start moving make sure you have it ready for him.

 

FWIW, my Missy was intrigued by babies and learned to LOVE toddlers. They dropped food, they threw balls, they played hide and seek games.

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My dogs have always loved babies and small people. If you know someone who has a child or baby and is willing, teach Camden to lie down in the baby's presence. Teach Camden that he can nose and sniff feet, not faces. I also made sure my dogs were comfortable with being pulled on and poked, not that it's ever OK for baby to pull and poke, but life happens, and my dogs know that a pull equals a treat. They like being pulled on and poked.

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Congratulations!

 

Figure out how Camden will ride in the car with the babies. When my youngest was born I had a Suburban and my GSD rode in the very back but would occasionally jump onto the seats to get out of the car. He never did this while my older two were seated but I didn't want to take the chance that he would jump on the baby so I purchased a safety barrier to keep him in the back.

 

Purchase your stroller early and get Camden used to the idea of walking next to the stroller. It will be easier to train him when you don't have the babies to worry about.

 

And a small bit of "non-dog" advice. Purchase your car seats early and install them in the car. Some seats will not work well with certain vehicles and you don't want to be waiting to take your small people home while your husband attempts to figure out how to install the seats.

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Thank you all so very much for the fantastic advice!! And a BIG congrats to moosikins on her upcoming addition as well! Even though I've not been around as much as of late I feel so lucky to have such a knowledgable and helpful resource as these boards that I can turn to when needed. Seriously, you guys have given me so much good advice to work with :)

 

Now that the holidays and all the chaos that they bring with it are behind us I do plan to start actively working with Camden on getting him used to some of the new things that will be entering his world (stroller, swings, carseats, etc.). I think this should go a long way in helping smooth the transition. It's time for me to get to work!

 

A couple of follow-up questions...

 

1) We were considering boarding Camden for a few days when the babies are born. Since it's a multiples birth we're told it's likely I'll be at the hospital for at least 3 nights and quite possibly more. My husband is planning to spend a lot of time at the hospital with me and the babies and I don't think he wants to be overly worried about the dog during this time frame. Do you think boarding him is a good idea ((he boards at his herding instructor's farm, gets to work sheep everyday and be around other dogs... it's sheepdog heaven, lol)) or do you think it's better that he be at home so we can bring things home that smell like the babies?

 

2) Camden sleeps in our bedroom at night closed into his crate. Letting him roam the house is not an option (incontinence issues *sigh*). My concern is that the babies will be staying with us in the bedroom for the first month in a bassinet. I am worried that he will feel trapped in the room with the screaming monsters if we leave him in the bedroom but I'm also worried about ousting him from the room all together. I think he would find being crated in another room away from us upsetting. Once the girls go and live in their nursery I'm not worried about this at all... Camden will be in our bedroom and they will be in another room... however I'm really flummoxed on how to handle that first month or so when we're all sleeping in the same space. :/ Suggestions or ideas?

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1) I would say boarding him for a few days wouldn't hurt anything, and it may even help. However be sure to check with the boarding facility and see if they are willing to let you bring him an item that smells like the babies while being in their care. You want to make sure he is used to the baby smell BEFORE the babies come home. You can work on getting him used to the smell of diapers, baby powder, ect now, but babies do not smell like older humans and Camden needs to know that smell means be calm.

 

2) Do you have a crate? If not I 100% think you should get one or at least an x-pen. For now it can be a place for him to sleep without causing trouble, but as the babies start moving around it will become his sanctuary for when he needs a break from the kids. You will also need to teach your kids as they get older crate/x-pen means to leave the dog alone. If you definitely to not want a cage and you have another attached hall/room or even bathroom you can have Camden sleep in there with a baby gates blocking him out of the main room and in the desired location. If you want him to sleep alone in a crate or x-pen and /or another room you should start training him now. It is easier for a dog to relearn sleeping in a bedroom than sleeping away from his humans for the first time. I would still leave the crate or Gate in a way he can see you and not feel completely abandoned. My grandma used to crate her dogs in another room at night and after they learned what was expected they didn't really mind it.

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My dogs have always loved babies and small people. If you know someone who has a child or baby and is willing, teach Camden to lie down in the baby's presence. Teach Camden that he can nose and sniff feet, not faces. I also made sure my dogs were comfortable with being pulled on and poked, not that it's ever OK for baby to pull and poke, but life happens, and my dogs know that a pull equals a treat. They like being pulled on and poked.

 

 

Well, also be prepared for the eventuality that your particular dog may not be able to endure being poked and pulled. Some dogs, especially border collies, simply can't tolerate that invasive of behavior. Always be prepared to protect your dog from baby/toddler behaviors that he finds alarming or uncomfortable. Too many unhappy things happen when busy parents fail to notice the dog is being pushed, however innocently, over his tolerance threshold.

 

Not being a parent, I can't be too specific, but I'll also second the idea of giving him a "baby-free zone." It will help everyone, including your peace of mind, if there's a place or two that you can put the dog where he's safe from baby and baby is safe from him. After all, the dog needs some time off from parenting, too. ;)

 

Best of luck and congratulations! :)

 

~ Gloria

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Perhaps Camden can start sleeping in the hallway with the door open or actually transition into the nursery before the babies are born and then when you're ready to have the babies in their own bedroom, you switch him back in with you?

 

Callie also sleeps in the bedroom in her crate (it only gets locked when she's being really wild at night) and usually ends up under the drafty window by morning. When we visit my parents' house, we sleep upstairs and she stays in her locked crate downstairs, but now that she's used to it, she doesn't fuss anymore. She just knows that the routine is different and we'll come down at 8 am to walk her and then she gets to roam the house afterwards. It took her about 2-3 nights to fully adjust and now when we come down she's not stressed like she was at first. She's usually sound asleep or telepathically communicating with the parrot-bird-thing the family owns.

 

Maybe you can even start out extra slowly by moving the crate further and further from its usual location every few days leading up to the birth of the babies and even leave the bedroom door open once it's in the hall or further so that you can tell him "It's ok, go to sleep". That's Callie's reminder to shush and be assured that we're still there.

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My dogs never minded the little squealer in my room, but I never had 2 at a time either. I've always had at least one dog that came to find me when the baby cried to tell me I needed to help the 2 leg puppy.

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Hmm... this is a tough one. I guess my concern is that Camden will be locked in his crate so if the babies crying does bother him then he'll be "trapped" in the room with the squealing monsters ;)

 

My gut is to have him stick it out with us in the bedroom for that first month, especially since I have every intention of keeping him right where he is now int he bedroom once the girls have been moved to the nursery. I think moving him out of the bedroom would be upsetting and disruptive, even if it was a gradual thing we did before the babies got here. He's slept in our bedroom, closed in his crate, every night since we brought him home as a ten week puppy.

 

As a routine, if I find myself getting up in the middle of the night i almost always let him out of his crate anyways and he'll stick with me while I'm up, usually curled at my feet wherever I am sitting or lying down. I wonder if continuing this trend is the best way to go. IOW, babies start crying, I get up to tend to them but also let the dog out so he has the freedom to decide where he'd like to be while that's going on. Then when I'm about to go back to sleep I'll crate him up again...

 

Gideon's Girl, your comment has set my mind at ease a great deal. I think I might see how Camden does in the room, give him some freedom to get away in the middle of the night if he needs to while I'm tending to the girls and hope we can get through that first month in a very crowded bedroom, lol. If he's super miserable then we'll move him out of the room until the girls get into their nursery (not ideal, but we might just have to play this one by ear).

 

Thanks again all. I'm sure I'll have more questions as the date gets closer. For now it's time to start breaking strollers and swings out of boxes and feeding lots of treats to my boy. :)

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I think since you plan to let him out of his crate when the babies start crying he would probably be alright. You may also find he doesn't care that the babies are crying or is even willing to 'help' calm them. Just make sure his crate is not right next to the babies at night, so he isn't getting his ears completely blasted by crying.

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