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Attention Seeking Antics


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Hi all,

 

I am just curious to find out what your dog's attention seeking antics are. Our Lilli (15 months) tries to talk (actually whinge) when we are busy doing other things and not in the position to give her the attention she wants. She will not let up until we drop what we're doing and go and play one of her "patented" games.

 

In the past when she has been very pushy and wanting to play, most times I have not given in until she has stopped shoving whatever to it is into my thigh but lately she has stopped doing this and just whinges (talks) continuously. Annoying when you are trying to have a conversation with someone either in person or on the phone.

 

Seriously, she would play 24/7 if she could - there is no "off" button.

 

We had her at the vet's recently for her annual vaccination and we were discussing certain behavioural issues and the vet suggested a pheromone collar which we did buy. She has been wearing it for about a week now and there has been a noticeable difference in her random barking and reactivity but that's about it. Now she is going on with this incessant talking

 

What do I do?

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Probably best if you make the rules.

 

Donald McCaig

Yes.

If you don't want to play then put the toys away. Take the toys out when you do want to play, then put away when play time is over. How will she know it isn't 24/7 playtime inside if you don't show her otherwise?

 

If she is loud when you are talking then tell her to go lay down, teach a place command so you can send her to her place/mat or ask her to do something appropriate ( hand her something to chew on and walk away). Teach a that'll do as well.

 

She is clearly setting the standard here and just holding out longer than you. :)

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Please keep in mind that what you feed will grow, and you are feeding her inappropriate attention seeking antics by giving in to her. If you want it to stop, then you need to set the limits. I know, that is easier said than done, but you truly need to be the one in charge. When Lilli is pestering you to play a game, ignore her. If she insists, perhaps a "time out" would be in order. As Donald wrote, you should be the one to make the rules. Waffles has some very good suggestions, as well. Both you and Lilli will be happier if you become a more effective leader.


Regards,

nancy
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Are you doing structured physical and mental activities with her on a daily basis?

 

If so, it is perfectly appropriate to have her hang out in a crate or to do something quiet when it is time to settle.

 

When we adopted Dean and he was beyond rambunctious, I would put him on a leash and have him lay on the futon next to me for a while when it was time for a break. He learned how to use his off switch and just hang out that way. He would get a chance to play with toys on his own or just chill. If he chose, instead, to harass one of the other dogs or get into stuff that he shouldn't, he got to sit next to me on leash.

 

We used to dogsit for a friend who had a dog who would not stop shoving toys at us. The only way to get him to stop it was literally to put all of the toys in the house up on top of the refrigerator. When we did that, he would finally go relax. So, that's another option that you have while you are teaching the ability to relax.

 

But it is important that you are spending time in quality physical and mental activity with her. She can learn to toggle between active mode and time to chill if you create structure for her to do that.

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Things get busy around here. I remove the dogs from the situations where attention seeking behavior creates an issue with others.

Having said that...when it is them and me, even when I am busy, I do love it. It is them choosing to interact with me. Not the, now I have time for you let's play and train routine. But them, picking me, above any other stimuli to interact, with me. Almost on their terms. It provides for lots of laughter and discovery for me. To see what they can and will come up with.

Granted, this is not 100% of the time. But I find it only fair to let them have that privilege. All within reason of course. And, as privileges go, they do have to be earned. And that is where great opportunities for setting rules and the teaching of such, show up.

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My dogs seem to understand that, when I say "go lie down", I mean "leave me alone". I have never really analyzed how I communicate that, but they get it. Hannah will take a ball or toy or whatever and go fondle it somewhere else now, but I started off by putting the toy away as Waffles suggests.

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I've had great success giving my dogs food puzzle toys when I want them to entertain themselves. Most of the puzzle toys I just put kibble and treats of different sizes in and they will spend an hour sometimes more trying to get all of the food out. It does take some effort to train them to use the toys, but once it clicks that they get food out of it most dogs get very excited to leave you alone and play with the puzzle toy by themselves.

 

Like others have stated make sure that you are the one giving the puzzle toy without prompting from your dog, because then it is your game not theirs. For example if you need to make a phone call get out the toy before you call and give it to your dog, or have one ready should the phone ring you can just give it to your dog as you answer the phone.

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I really like the command "all done." I give two pats on the head (which they generally don't like) say "all done" and that means we're done with whatever. Even if we never actually *start* she knows that all done means there's nothing more she can do to change my mind. Best. Behavior. Ever.

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I agree with what others have said, but also wanted to sympathize a bit. My boy is about to turn 2 and would play all day if we let him. We've kept the rules pretty strict (we start and end the games), put away toys that he can't stop obsessing over and have generally not given into pushy behavior. We've been doing this from day one, yet just the other night...

 

Camden dropped a toy at my feet. I ignored him. He began to pace restlessly with the toy. I told him to settle. He dropped it at my feet again. I ignored him. He stared at me for a few minutes and then started barking at me. BTW, this was after a 45 minutes off leash romp earlier that afternoon.

 

I was furious and he knew it. I wouldn't go so far as to say we had a "Come to Jesus" moment, but he knew I was p#ssed. He left me alone for the rest of the evening, until on my own terms and schedule, I initiated a game with him and we tugged for bit. We all went to bed happy.

 

So, even a dog with whom the rules should be very clear can be a punk now and then I guess. :/

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I really like the command "all done." I give two pats on the head (which they generally don't like) say "all done" and that means we're done with whatever. Even if we never actually *start* she knows that all done means there's nothing more she can do to change my mind. Best. Behavior. Ever.

 

 

"All done" is the command I use, as well. Josie understands/responds nicely. If we are playing, or she wants to, the phrase brings-on a pouty look, but she leaves me alone.

 

It is the cue I use at the end of a stockwork session, and again, she seems okay about being let off-duty. I use "that'll do" to bring her to my general area, and to let her know I have another task for her, but "all done" is her full off switch.

 

There must be a dusty leather bound archaic book shelved in a musty archive room somewhere that contains the complete Border Collie grammar, syntax, and terminology. It would be written in 18th - 19th century Bobby Burns' Scots or British English, penned by quill in flourishing strokes. I believe that when the book is found it will make training our dogs a good deal more efficient. Efficiency is probably overrated, although trainers' consistency isn't. -- TEC

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Please keep in mind that what you feed will grow, and you are feeding her inappropriate attention seeking antics by giving in to her. If you want it to stop, then you need to set the limits. I know, that is easier said than done, but you truly need to be the one in charge. When Lilli is pestering you to play a game, ignore her. If she insists, perhaps a "time out" would be in order. As Donald wrote, you should be the one to make the rules. Waffles has some very good suggestions, as well. Both you and Lilli will be happier if you become a more effective leader.
Regards,
nancy

 

 

This. Exactly this.

 

Set the rules, Control the toys. Put her on time outs or in a crate or outside on her own. But you need to manage this now, or it will continue to be a problem, perhaps an ingrained one.

 

Good luck!

 

~ Gloria

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I really like the command "all done." I give two pats on the head (which they generally don't like) say "all done" and that means we're done with whatever. Even if we never actually *start* she knows that all done means there's nothing more she can do to change my mind. Best. Behavior. Ever.

 

Similar, I say "ok we're done now" and turn to open palms towards them. Means the same thing and when they see those palms they know the game is over and they immediately walk away.

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