Funniest food item stolen

[urge to herd]

I shouldn't have spouted off about my brother's dog...in the space of 2 days, Rudder has managed to eat 5, count 'em 5 pens/mechanical pencils. I've scoured this house at least 10 times and I cannot for the life of me figure out where he's getting them from. Heck, I can never find a pen when I need one to start with. I think he has a secret stash somewhere. This is driving me nuts.

 

Emphasis mine. I used to swear that Shoshone and Buzz had secret pockets, where they kept their calendars, (look! a 3 day weekend coming up! I think I'll need to go the emergency vet). That and a list of everything that ever scared them. I'm sure they keep other things in the Secret Pockets, too.

 

A credit card of mine disappeared once. I knew exactly where I had put it, and it wasn't there.Tore the house apart anyway. No dice. I'm pretty sure one of the dogs stashed it, so they could go to Disney World if life got too boring at home.

 

Ruth and Agent Gibbs

[Jumpin Boots]

She also had a cat. What the dog couldn't get to, the cat was more than happy to help with by climbing and knocking whatever it was to the ground so Buster could devour it!

 

Our cats will do that. It's lik a conspiracy, four leggers against two leggers!

 

 

I finally found it, placed ever so neatly on top of the cat's food dish. It made me laugh so hard I ended up sharing the steak with him.

 

I found it hilarious when my new kitten (now 8 months, but then only 4) did the same thing with a steak I had left thawing on the counter. I caught him dragging it to his food dish!

 

I am happy to hear other people's cats put food items in their food bowls too. Weird, but cute thought process. Our problem is that the cats will bring their furry sacrificial mice into the house and place them in their bowl; it's ok when they are actually dead; but about once a month they aren't and we end up with a loose, terrified mouse in the house; ugh.

[Gideon's girl]

Back when I worked for my vet, we had a client with a bull terrier that would eat anything. The first time we did surgery on it, we got a chain training collar and a nail. We told the owner to crate if the dog was not supervised. The second time we did surgery, we got the training collar, a needle and short length of yarn, 3 pen caps, and some unidentifiable stuff. We told the owners to crate if the dog was not supervised. The third time we did surgery, we got a custom Cross pen set, a platinum visa, hair curlers, the handle of a plastic fork or spoon, and little bits of stuff. This time the owners went and got a crate before they took the dog home. I don't know if it was the pen set or the visa that finally did it.

[Jo&Tex]

Tex had a nose that got him into trouble on numerous occasions. Being blind, he didnt really understand heights or danger so anything that smelled like it could be eaten was fair game.

 

About a month ago, I was upstairs running a bath and I could hear Tex banging and clanging around in the kitchen. I knew he was the only dog inside at that time and banging and clanging is not an unusual sound when you live with a small version of Godzilla. The sound went on for a while and I finally turned off the water and went downstairs to check.

 

My mother in law had given us a big 10lb barrel of Walmart dog cookies that her dog didnt like. Tex loved them and I'd given him the last of the cookies that afternoon. Stupidly, I'd set the barrel on the floor, planning to put it into the recycling bin on the porch later on. Tex had followed his nose in and down and had the cookie barrel firmly wedged on his head. I thought it was funny until I clued in that Tex couldnt breathe and was frantically banging and clanging to get them thing off.

 

I pinned Tex and cut an air hole with a kitchen knife. Tex was happy to have air again and calmed down. I ran outside and got someone to help me. We finally got the barrel off with tin snips. I measured the opening afterwards and it was only 4 inches wide. I couldnt believe he'd gotten hid head thru such a small opening.

 

I was so grateful that I'd been inside when it happened and that I'd decided to check on him. It could have been a disaster.

[Maralynn]

Kenzi stole broccoli off the counter once. Crazy dog. Then she'd beg me for some when I was cutting it up, Not to be outdone, Kipp started begging for it too - but I think the only reason he ate it was because he didn't want Kenzi to have it.

[KatieP]

Our outside grill is in need of repair and we have to replace the grease pan that goes underneath the burners. My brilliant 4 month old BC, Addie, discovered that is she stands underneath the grill when the food is cooking, she can lap up the grease. You would think it would be hot but I guess that it isn't because she keeps doing it. I had to give her two baths on memorial day because of her "greasy" habit. Her entire head and back were just covered in chicken grease. Then of course, she loves to lay and lick her self all over.. It is a pretty yucky situation. She also has stolen butter. And my 20 month old grandson cannot run around with a cookie or she sneaks up behind him and steals it. She won't do it If I am looking, she's very crafty.

[Tuxedodog]

Romana, our Pyr/GSD is a sneak thief. She is a rescue and when she discovered dog biscuits, her life was complete. They are the only thing that she ever growled at people over, that has been remedied. Well Buster the BC is getting older and doesn't always eat his biscuit, but he lurks over it because as soon as he turns his back, Romana snags it. Where she growls at the kitten when he trys to eat the crumbs that fall from her mouth on HER biscuit, she shares the crumbs from Buster's.

[grenzehund]

Give the OP's sign-in name, I had to post this photo of Pippin on a Saturday morning:

 

[Dex BC]

And of course the classic:

 

http://www.jerrypour.../dogsinelk.html

 

RDM

 

I made the mistake of reading this at work on my lunch hour...I think my co-workers thought I had finally lost it from the laughter!

 

Dexter scored well this week with half a block of old chedder from the counter (my fault) and 3 burgers from the dinner table when we all got up to answer the door during dinner (silly peoples).

 

Our Golden retreiver ate a calculator once...only found bits of circuit board all over the ktichen floor.

[gcv-border]

When I was (much) younger, I had a Lab/BC mix (best guess, pound puppy), and she did have an iron stomach.

 

When she was about 1 year old, DH and I were in the midst of renovating an old farmhouse. At the time, the kitchen was not fully finished. I can not remember the exact details why, but I remember dumping some grease from frying chickens out on the hillside about 70-80 feet from the house. A few hours later, the dog came into the house and proceeded to upchuck what looked like a 10 lb 'animal'. I had never, and have never since, seen anything that big come out of a dog's mouth. When I cleaned it up, I realized that it was dirt. Back then, in the country, we let our dog run loose, and she obviously decided that the grease-laden dirt was delicious. Yuck!

 

Then there was the time when she ate a whole pound (minus 2 pieces) of Godiva chocolates. My boss had given his staff one pound boxes of Godiva chocolates for Christmas. At the time, DH and I were working in 2 cities about 4 hours apart. I put the chocolate box in the back of the car for the drive up to DH so I would not eat them. [Although I did stop along the way and eat 2.] When I arrived, DH said 'let's go out to eat dinner', so I just dropped my bags on the bedroom floor and then left. When we got home, the ribbon had been gently removed from the box (not torn), the top taken off (no bite marks) and almost all the little paper 'cups' were still in the box, but empty. She showed no ill effects.

 

Then there was the time when she was just too cute. My parents had a party out in a big field, and I was helping with the setting up for the pot luck dinner and then other things and lost track of our dog. When I went looking for her, about 2 hours later, I found her sitting in the middle of a semi-circle of about 6-7 senior age men who were taking turns throwing food (what kind of food?) at her while she just sat and waited for her next treat. And this was a crazy, run-around type of dog. Her normal behavior was to go up to someone and shove her nose into their hand or lap when she wanted food. I found it fascinating that she decided to sit calmly and wait for her food.

 

Jovi

[daisyrainbow]

So, my kids are with their dad for 3 nights a week now, so Daisy and I have dinner together. She is very good, she sees me make dinner and comes to sit next to me. Never begs, but is so excited for anything I leave on my plate.

 

Some of the quirky things she does. She loves broccoli with dip, but you have to hold the broccoli for her until she licks off all the dip, then she takes it gently in her lips lays it on the floor and eats all the 'leaves' then the stalk. Like watching a 3 yr old really. She also will not take empty peanut butter or yogurt containers. I have to hold them for her. After a couple of minutes I set it on the ground and say 'take it if you watn it' and she will take it to her crate (which is filled with a collection of kids toys, her toys, recycles, and any other thing she likes, actually my youngest's comforter is in there now also)

 

My first dog Aussie mix would snich food, any food. She could open cabinets and the refrigerator. (baby locks) and if she were hungry and it wasn't dinner time she would carry her food bowl to me and throw it at me. At one point we had an entire hoggie(sub) eaten off the dining table without any noise. We were less than 20 ft away in the next room and heard nothing.

[Sydney Angelle]

My dog Padre never steals any sort of food or drink. But he gladly eats bubbles and he absolutely loves coffee. The latter is the only edible thing he begs for and, occasionally, I give it to (yes, I give my BC caffeine; yes, I know I am insane). But my cat is more than happy to simply steal coffee, and if I turn my back on a mug, she will have her little tongue in it in a heartbeat! I do not even have to turn by back, sometimes.

 

As for my other BC, Amie...she eats *everything*.

My brother and I tan hides with salt and olive oil. Amie snuck into our shop one day and took a big lick of the stuff off the backside of a fur. The next thing I knew she was puking in the garden and drinking frantically out of the swimming pool. She was fine. But salt and oil? Really? Where was the intial appeal? ...She also eats bugs, and especially likes dragonflies, when she can catch them.

[Gideon's girl]

Just before we got married, my husband took my saluki to live with hi and his dobie. While he was at work, the saluki got a sealed tub of crushed rawhide meatballs(about 3 pounds) down from the top of a very tall entertainment center. He had an amazing ability to open things. He only left one single tooth mark. He might have eaten a couple of the rawhides, but the dobie ate the rest. In the middle of the night, he hears the dobie vomiting. After cleaning it up, he put the dogs in the bathroom for the night, figuring that it would be easier to clean up. Again, he was woke by the sound of the dobie vomiting. Did I mention that the saluki had an amazing ability to open things. He again cleaned up and put the dogs back in the bathroom and barricaded the door.

[Sasha's Mom]

Sasha destroyed a lot of things as a puppy, but Nikolai, my 14 year old German Shepard mix is my counter surfer. He's trained me pretty well, actually... but...

 

I ran my first full marathon in January, and had an assortment of energy gels in the MIDDLE of the kitchen table for some time. They'd get moved around, but I had quite a collection as I was sorting out what sort of nutrition I was going to need.

 

I don't remember if it was the week of the race or the week after, but suddenly, the whole box went missing. We're talking 8 GUs, 4-5 Roctane gels, 3 packs of GU Chomps, some Cliff Blocks, several packets of electrolyte tabs, some rehydration packets, and some sport beans.

 

He apparently doesn't like the blueberry pomegranate flavor, and finding that gel on the floor in front of the door in the sneaky-spot tipped me off (when he steals a loaf of bread or bagels or anything else, he always leaves the wrapper there). But he ate just about everything else. I added up the caffeine, which would be most dangerous in excess and decided to just watch him as it wasn't a toxic level. The next few days, he was more energetic than ever, but had no ill effects. Just thinking about consuming that much sugar at once gives me palpitations!

 

I did search the yard for a pile of brightly colored foil, but Mr. Sneaky-Pooper hid it well. (I have 5 wooded acres, so I didn't think I'd find them)

[Tiga's_mom]

When Tiga was a puppy the worst thing we found was a light bulb chewed up into a million little pieces in the middle of our bed. He didn't have a cut on him. I'm still not sure where he got it. He's eaten a full loaf of sourdough bread from the counter in about 1 minute flat. He also has a fetish for cardboard. If given the chance he will remove the roll from inside a toilet paper or paper towel roll, leaving the paper completely in tack without a tooth mark on it and devour the cardboard. I would love to see how he does it. He's not so bad with the cardboard now that he's a bit older but he will eat any food if given the chance.

[Anda]

Is a bread knife considered a food item?

 

Because that's what Ouzo stole from the counter the first time we left him home alone one evening when he was around 5 months old and we decided we need to still have a social life among humans. He was alone for a couple of hours - we didn't dare stay out longer. Upon our return we found a massive bread knife in the middle of our bed, handle meticulously chewed - we still have the same knife and it makes me roll my eyes every time I grab it by the handle...), no cuts or blood anywhere - first thing we checked. Plus a 12-pack of ramen noodle cups dragged in the bedroom, some corners chewed until he decided he wasn't into unhealthy crappy cheap food. And his entire basket of toys turned upside down, covering the noodles.

 

Nice work for a pup in two hours.

[simba]

Sorry, this is waaay necroposting, but...

 

Terrier was obsessing over a double chocolate chip cookie which had been left on the table. This was an amazing cookie- chocolate dough, white chocolate chips, giant, chewy buttery perfection. Wherever I moved it to she was eyeing it up. While I was out of the room someone else moved it onto the table and, predictably, she hopped up.

 

When I came back in she was noshing into a bag of moldy carrots waiting to go into the bin. She had totally forgotten about the cookie. She had torn through a durable shopping bag to get to them, while cookie was just wrapped in paper.

[Liz P]

Tweed just stole and ate the contents of a ketchup packet. Yummy!

 

I am sure most of you know what a cat looks like when it's got a prized prey item. Their eyes sort of bug out of their heads, making them look almost possessed as they trot past, neck arched, prey held firmly in their mouth. OK, so now that you have that image in your head...

 

I was sitting at my desk at work when I saw a cat run by the door. It was clearly very pleased with itself for capturing such delicious prey. Thing is, the cat had a giant cinnamon roll about 8 or 10 inches in diameter in his mouth. It was so large that he was struggling to carry it without the edge dragging on the floor. He had captured his breakfast from the office manager's bag. I couldn't stop laughing. She was not amused.

[urge to herd]

Oh, Liz, where is that like button?

 

Gibbs - cold baked broccoli.

Gibbs - grapefruit, really tart grapefruit.

Buzz - dried sour cherries - he actually moaned and groveled for them once.

Buzz - salad stuff, cucumbers the most

Kitty from my childhood - canned asparagus. Not fresh, not frozen, canned.

 

Ruth and SuperGibbs

[GentleLake]

My late pointriever, Bear, was a roamer. Invisible fence wouldn't keep him home if he really wanted to go. One day he went gallivanting and came home with a huge belly. Shortly afterwards he started puking the most foul smelling, light brown grainy substance I'd ever seen . . . right on the carpet, of course. Couldn't figure out what he'd gotten into until I talked to the neighbors a few days later. They'd gone fishing the previous weekend and buried the heads and offal. It had had a couple days to ripen before Bear dug it up and ate it, fermented fish offal, dirt and all.

 

One summer we were having a cookout at my in-laws'. There was a very large prime rib roast on the grill -- big enough for, I dunno, 8-10 people. Roast was done, so we removed the cover from the grill and started bringing out the other food. 2 minutes later someone asked, where's the roast? My SIL's medium sized (30 lbs maybe) Heinz 57 was happily licking her chops as she finished the last bits of this hot off the hot grill roast.

[B-and-B]

And of course the classic:

 

http://www.jerrypournelle.com/reports/jerryp/dogsinelk.html

 

RDM

 

Earlier today I read the Dogs in Elk and laughed and laughed, I read it to my wife and she laughed too....

 

Tonight I'm sitting watching some TV after a day of taking the dogs out for a long hike.They had been resting comfortably when my wife took them out for their last potty break. A few minutes after they come in I smell this horrible stench.

"What is that SMELL?" I asked.

"I think it's something from outside" says the wife.

"Well close the windows, that's nasty" I replied.

So we close all the windows on the upwind side of the house....and the smell gets worse. Another 2 min or so goes by and my wife notices Dusty, our 1yo, seems to be busy with something under the dining room table. As soon as she says "Dusty" the pup slinks from under the table and heads into the kitchen. (a sure admission of some sort of guilt) We pull out a couple chairs and find the source of the smell...what's left of a one or two week old, half of a rabbit skin EEWWWW!! I don't think she ate any of it, just relishing her contraband she snuck past the Warden on the way in from yard duty.

So guess who's getting a bath as I type this..lol

 

So I guess we got our own (allbeit tamer) carcass story

[urge to herd]

I LOVE Dogs in Elk, re-read it at least a couple times a year. And have contributed to its distribution via the Interwebz.

 

Ruth and SuperGibbs

[simba]

This is decades ago. Dog gets loose, brings home sheep's head. Cue panic. We are 'good neighbours', you know, the kind who will follow the circling crows and get the sheep on its feet again before it loses the OTHER eye. Call 'round all neighbours.

 

Was it killing sheep? Nah. Someone had killed one and buried it shallowly, a few weeks ago.

[Cass C]

One time I had just finished making some pan fried chicken, and left it on a plate to cool on the counter where Lyka knows she shouldn't be. I turned my back on it to tend to the rest of dinner, and next thing I know Lyka is just staring at me with a whole piece of chicken in her mouth. I never even heard her get on the counter. However as soon as I looked at her she dropped it at my feet and slinked out of the kitchen.

 

I ended up giving it to her as a treat later so it didn't go to waste, but I got a good laugh out of it at the time.

[rushdoggie]

Cucumbers. Right off of the vine from the garden. Needless to say my veggie beds are now better fenced.

 

"What? It was on the ground..."