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Ooky

Rabies, its definitely rabies.

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Funny conversation I just had:

 

Well first some background. I called the vet to set up a time for Odin's lepto booster. It has been a hard hard week for sleep in our house (toddler teething) and my brain is not working so well. So when I called all the sudden I could not remember what lepto was called and my brain would only come up with "listeriosis" which I KNEW was wrong.

 

Me: I need to make an appointment for my dog to get a vaccine....

 

Receptionist: (interrupts) Rabies?

 

Me: No, he need to get a booster for... for... um....

 

Receptionist: Rabies?

 

Me: No, I promise its not rabies. It starts with a "L", not all dogs have to have it...

 

Receptionist: (interrupts) Oh! Bordatella.

 

Me: No, but closer! No, this starts with an "L", I'm sorry I keep wanting to say listeriosis but I know that's wrong. But is DOES start with an "L", it's for 4 bacterial strains at the same time, and you only usually give it to dogs that come into contact with wildlife feces etc...

 

Receptionist: (interrupts) Oh yes. Must be distemper.

 

Me: Um, isn't distemper a virus? And no, its not that either. I promise you it starts with an "L"...

 

Receptionist: (interrupts) Oh, you're thinking of rabies. Its defintely rabies.

 

Me: :huh: Listen, how about I pop on the internet for a second and call you right back.

 

Receptionist: Look, I'm going to go ask the vet because I'm pretty sure you're talking about rabies. *drops phone*

 

Me: (second phone touches cradle) OHHH!!! LEPTO!! IT'S LEPTO!!!

 

I'm not sure but I think someone observing this conversation would be pretty sure one or both of us must have rabies, based on the level of cognitive functioning going on between us. :P

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:lol:

 

Don't worry. We've all been there.

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If I call the vet office and get a receptionist that doesn't have a clue, but who thinks I don't have a clue about what I am talking about, I ask to speak to one of two people that know me and will listen to me because they respect me. Period. Works every time. And I do it nicely.

 

Meanwhile, I love your description - so frustrating and so real!

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I laughed ALOT on this one! Thanks for sharing.

 

 

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

One time someone called me about a seal that was Whelping.

 

 

I said leave her alone, get off the beach so she can have her pup and I'd send down a Seal Volunteer.

 

 

 

This person clearing thought I was nuts, Whelping Whelping she said over and over. The seal is in distress it keeps whelping.

 

 

 

Turns out she meant the seal was barking, you know the whelp whelp whelp sound......

 

 

 

 

 

:/

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whelping :lol: :lol:

 

Well, Odin got his booster this afternoon anyway. Hope it wasn't a booster for rabies <_<

 

(I do trust the vet though).

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OOky, you totally spooked me! :blink: Lol, I'm glad I can laugh my ars* off right now, :lol: Yeah, I play the role of this receptionist all the time in not getting the gist, but my memory plays the role of forgetting the "Ls" :rolleyes:

 

Hilarious! Tea, that is funny about the Whelping seal too.

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This whole thread is cracking me up. I think the "whelping" thing must be a semi-common misconception; we have clients every so often who are sure that "whelping" means "some form of vocalization, regardless of species, and often indicating pain or distress."

 

Sometimes clients come up with misnomers that they don't realize are misnomers: they want to get their dog spaded (spayed); one time their dog had a nostalgic gaze (nystagmus); their dog had leprosy (epilepsy) and Noxema (eczema); their dog is a tomb-lilly (cryptorchid). Other times they've forgotten the word and know it. I had a client once tell me a sheep expert had told her her sheep had some disease... some disease called... called... she exclaims in exasperation: "Oh, drat, I was SURE I'd remember it! It's something like 'oxious naseous'."

 

Er...? I rack my brain. I can think of nothing whatsoever that sounds like oxious naseous - nothing that sounds even close, in fact. But in the weird way of brains (or at least MY brain), words pop into my head.

 

"Actinomyces pyogenes?" I ask her hesitantly, thinking: That is not even CLOSE, you dork, why are you even mentioning it? Imagine my surprise when she goes, "YES! That's it!"

 

It's my favorite disease now. Every diisease that I'm having trouble diagnosing, every nebulopathy and mystery complaint, every obscure disease, is oxious naseous.

 

I should point out that Raven sometimes has a variant known as "oxious obnoxious", characterized by repeated attempts to sit in my lap while I am driving or trying to eat, knit or read. It occasionally causes seizure-like activity - in the owner, mind you, not the dog - in which she slides her muzzle under my chin and then shoves it abruptly upwards, evidently in an attempt to make me pet her - or ditch my truck, whichever. Fortunately it can be cured my means of judicious swearing, although if you laugh while applying this treatment, it inactivates the cure.

 

Maybe I should start working on a vaccine...

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"Oh, drat, I was SURE I'd remember it! It's something like 'oxious naseous'."

 

Er...? I rack my brain. I can think of nothing whatsoever that sounds like oxious naseous - nothing that sounds even close, in fact. But in the weird way of brains (or at least MY brain), words pop into my head.

 

"Actinomyces pyogenes?" I ask her hesitantly, thinking: That is not even CLOSE, you dork, why are you even mentioning it? Imagine my surprise when she goes, "YES! That's it!"

 

:lol: I would have guessed caseous lymphadenitis. But oxious nauseous is so much better! :D

 

Tell Raven she's a good girl!

 

And glad to see you back, if only briefly!

 

J.

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I had a client once tell me a sheep expert had told her her sheep had some disease... some disease called... called... she exclaims in exasperation: "Oh, drat, I was SURE I'd remember it! It's something like 'oxious naseous'."

 

"Actinomyces pyogenes?" I ask her hesitantly, thinking: That is not even CLOSE, you dork, why are you even mentioning it? Imagine my surprise when she goes, "YES! That's it!"

 

It's my favorite disease now.

 

Let me know about the oxious nauseous vaccine. Can there be an acute version, rather than chronic? Gibbs shoved his hard little head under my chin yesterday as I was leaning over him to dry him off, and whacked my jaw just about off my face when he jumped up. He's never done stuff like that - and my jaw is pretty sore today . . .

 

As Julie says, great to 'hear' from you!

 

Ruth

 

Ruth

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Thanks, Julie and Ruth!

 

@Julie: I will tell her that. Right now she thinks her name is "Raven-Raven-butt-needs-shavin'" because we had some unfortunate matting issues (her tail now looks like a comb with half the teeth missing), so she's had a lot of practice with "be-still-GOOD-dog!". Also the ever-popular "get-in-the-back-GOOD-dog!" since it's winter, which, as everyone knows, means COFFEE DRIVE-THROUGH KIOSK SEASON!!! EVERY 40 MINUTES!!! AND GIMME A BISCUIT FOR MY OXIOUS OBNOXIOUS DOG OR I'LL STAB YOU WITH MY STRAW!!! (accompanied by wild-eyed slavering). Raven is fairly certain the way to guarantee the dog-biscuit portion of the program is to lean over my shoulder with her front feet perched on the door at the open window, or possibly to actually attempt to enter the kiosk through ITS open window, all whilst looking freakin' adorable. After all that effort, she'll be excited to get just a plain old "Good dog!" without having to work for it. :)

 

@Ruth: Many of my patients suffer from an acute version, which consists of just such antics as you describe, usually occurring while I am attempting to listen to their chests with my stethoscope. I hear it can cause headaches, fat lips and black eyes (in the owner, of course). This can also lead to embarrassing questions and remarks (such as: "Well, I know you didn't get that black eye from a man, because you'd be in jail for murder" and "Date with OJ Simpson?") so there should be some sort of insurance compensation you ought to be able to claim from your insurer, IMO. I'd be willing to write you a doctor's note, but those people have NO sense of humor.

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At least you got there eventually!

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AK dog Doc, you are splittin' my sides right now, that has got to be the funniest ever!

laughitupsmilie.gifrotfl.giflaughitupsmilie.gif

 

Sometimes clients come up with misnomers that they don't realize are misnomers: they want to get their dog spaded (spayed); one time their dog had a nostalgic gaze (nystagmus); their dog had leprosy (epilepsy) and Noxema (eczema); their dog is a tomb-lilly (cryptorchid). Other times they've forgotten the word and know it. I had a client once tell me a sheep expert had told her her sheep had some disease... some disease called... called... she exclaims in exasperation: "Oh, drat, I was SURE I'd remember it! It's something like 'oxious naseous'."

 

Er...? I rack my brain. I can think of nothing whatsoever that sounds like oxious naseous - nothing that sounds even close, in fact. But in the weird way of brains (or at least MY brain), words pop into my head.

 

And this:

 

I should point out that Raven sometimes has a variant known as "oxious obnoxious", characterized by repeated attempts to sit in my lap while I am driving or trying to eat, knit or read. It occasionally causes seizure-like activity - in the owner, mind you, not the dog - in which she slides her muzzle under my chin and then shoves it abruptly upwards, evidently in an attempt to make me pet her - or ditch my truck, whichever. Fortunately it can be cured my means of judicious swearing, although if you laugh while applying this treatment, it inactivates the cure.

 

Maybe I should start working on a vaccine...

 

I think you need to do Stand-Up Comedy for dog-folks. You'd be the richest vet ever, haha! You'd end up on Hollywood.

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