Should I get a boy or a girl?

[dogger_woggers]

Since you guys were so helpful with my last question, I thought I'd post another one that has been driving me crazy with confusion. To update: I will be adopting a border collie from a rescue organization in the next few months. Lately, I've been reading up about foster dogs that need homes. I call these 'internet dates', where I try to see if a dog is right for me by looking at a picture and description of the dog. I'm sure you're all familiar with this concept.

 

The problem occurs whenever I speak with my nagging mother. She insists that I have to get a female. According to her, female dogs are sweeter, gentler and not nearly as hyper and don't need as many walks because they don't need to spread their scent as much as a male. Currently I've fallen in love with this guy:

 

http://mwbcr.org/ourfosterdogspages/fosterdogmojo.html

 

Although it's none of my mother's business, she thinks this idea is a poor one since the dog is a boy.

 

I've asked friends and family members who own male dogs, and they've told me the complete opposite. That boy dogs are kinder and cuddlier and females are the ones to be uptight and grouchy.

 

Personally, I feel that each dog is unique and every case is different, but I want to make sure before it's too late.

Any advice? thanks!

[Sue R]

Do you live with your mother? Are you dependent on her? If so, and if you were to meet this dog (and he was just what you wanted), might she be willing to meet him? I was dead set against my husband considering rehoming a little bitch with us, and that's how we got our Megan - within an hour of meeting her, neither of us could consider our home being without her. That *could* happen with your mother if, although set in her opinion, she might reconsider if she found the dog you chose to be not what she expected but more like what she hoped for.

 

If she is going to be set against him and you live with her and are dependent on her, it could set the stage for a very uncomfortable household situation. Or, on the other hand, he could win her over entirely.

 

If you have your own, independent place, then it's going to be totally up to you what you choose to do when you find the dog that's right for *you*. If so, just make sure you provide for his/her future if something should happen to you.

 

This is not an easy question to answer. Here's wishing you the best of luck, and thank you for looking for a deserving rescue dog!

[dogger_woggers]

Thanks Sue!

 

No, I don't live with my mother. However, it is hard for me to put her point of view below someone else's. She has raised me to believe that girl dogs are best! Only recently have I began to think otherwise.

[Kelleybean]

I think that which ever dog speaks to your heart is the one for you. My sister has a male BC and I have a female. Her dog is definately more laid back. I think in general the males (if neutered) are more laid back. Hey, they don't call em bitches for nothin'!

[Journey]

Don't base your selection on he or she. Base it on which *dog* you like. They're all different and all individual. Pick the one that *speaks* to you and then celebrate

[geonni banner]

I like girls better myself - but for me it's a lot about the peeing on things when out walking on leash. Certainly the "boys" can be taught not to stop at every vertical object to leave p-mail, but I just find it easier to have a dog that squats, pees 'till she's empty and then goes on. I don't think boys need more walking, or girls need less walking though. And I have had some wonderful boys.

 

I think you should just find an individual that "clicks" with you. Regardless of sex.

[HoosierMike]

Another vote for "pick the dog that speaks to you". Having one of each, I can say that our female is definately NOT the more laid back one. She has to always be on the move, checking windows, making sure nothing is out of place in her yard. Always, been that way. Now, she does have a great off switch and will settle down when told to. Our male, on the other hand, can only be described as GOOFY. He is intense too, when it comes to his ball and a game of fetch, but he has a way about him that will bring a smile out of you on your worst day.

They were both rescue dogs and neither were exactly what we were looking for at the time that we found them (or the other way around) at the shelters. If I was dead set on Male/Female, we would never have gotten Maggie. And had we gotten a male first, then we probably wouldn't have gotten Dave as our second dog. I can't imagine not having either of them now. So sometimes it's better to let the dog pick you.

 

Mike

[Sue R]

What Karen (Journey) said!

 

And, in my household, I have one bitch (neutered young) and two males (one neutered at six months, one at 18 months) and we lost a male a couple of years back (neutered at 18 months). Who does all the sniffing and marking? The little bitch, no doubt about it.

 

There are generalities about the sexes but there is a great deal of variation within the sexes, so "no size fits all" is a good rule of thumb.

 

If you pick the right dog for you, whichever it is, I think your mother will grow to like that one just fine - as long as she has an open mind and is willing to change her opinion to meet reality.

 

Good luck!

[gcv-border]

The previous replies have all been great. I concur that you should go with the dog that "speaks" to you.

 

FWIW, my female does a lot more marking than my male. (They are both neutered.) I think her marking is due to her highly anxious personality. She seems to mark more the more anxious she is.

 

Good Luck!

Jovi

[juliepoudrier]

Agree with what the others have said, but if I had to generalize, it's my boys who are really more into me and my girls who are more independent. I always tended to prefer females (though I have had a few rescue males) until a little male puppy chose me. He and the other male youngster I have are cuddlers for sure--they are WAY into me.

 

Also, my 14-y.o. spayed female can give the boys a run for their money when it comes to marking--and her aim is pretty darn good.

 

I really no longer have a preference since the boys have helped to change my prejudices there.

 

So as Karen said, meet dogs and then choose based on the one you like best, period.

 

ETA: My very first dog after going out on my own was a male border collie mix. I had gone to the Pet Assistance League to look at a different dog (female) and we just didn't click. Another day, I was back at the same place with my mother, and the foster lady said to me, "I know you said you didn't want a male dog, but I'd like you to meet this one dog I have here." You guessed it, he had a great personality and he went home with me that day.... To trot out the old chestnut: "Never say never!"

 

J.

[PSmitty]

I think the border collie gender stereotypes are just the opposite of what your Mom thinks, that it's the males that are sweeter, gentler, more into their people. However, it's all just dependent on the individual dog's personality.

 

I agree with Journey, don't have your heart set on either, and pick the dog that you think suits you the best, that you connect with the most.

 

Personally, I prefer male dogs. I have a female, non border collie, and I love her like whoa, but if all things are equal, given a choice, I'd pick a boy. Oh, and she marks as much as my males, too.

[WildFlower]

I agree with everyone above about picking the dog that suits you best regardless of gender.

 

I have one of each. Devon doesn't mark much - maybe I just got lucky. But both Daisy and Devon are very loving. I will say that Devon seems like he wants to "work" with me more than Daisy.

 

Oh, and my mom's one female marks just as much as a male dog!

[Maralynn]

Another vote for getting the dog that clicks with you regardless of sex.

 

In comparing my two youngest dogs - the male is calmer as a rule, but quite intense when he's "on". The female is bouncy, happy, go-go-go. They are both pretty loving to family members and both like to snuggle. The male is aloof to people he doesn't know. The female wants to love everyone.

 

I have slight preference for females, but I love my little dude and wouldn't trade him for anything! FWIW, hes not a marker either - he squats to pee.

[Kelleybean]

I just read the bio on Mojo--what a cutie pie!!!! :P :P

[OurBoys]

I think when you find "your" dog or s/he finds you, you aren't going to care what gender it is. My user ID was appropriate until Josie came into our lives.

 

And FWIW, our merle girl marks too. Sometimes she even hikes her leg to do so.

[brady's mom]

My pup's a boy and he's pretty laid back.

I initially wanted a girl, too, because my mom would only every get girl dogs (same reasons). But, I love my boy--he's not over the top in any way and needs about as much exercise as any border collie might.

 

Just listen to your heart! <3 Mojo sure is a handsome boy!

[Root Beer]

We wanted a girl when we added Speedy to our household. If we had decided against him just because he was a boy, we would have missed out on the best dog we've ever had!

 

I'd also say get the dog that works for you. I have three boys and two girls - the boys are definitely sweet, they are into their people, and none of them mark to any notable extent.

[JohnLloydJones]

...but I just find it easier to have a dog that squats, pees 'till she's empty and then goes on. I don't think boys need more walking, or girls need less walking though.

Females mark, even if it's in a different way to the boys. They like to leave their visiting card to attract suitable mates.

 

Right now, I have a wonderful female, Senneca and a procession of foster boys. When I went out to look for a dog, I didn't even question the fact it was going to be a male. I came home with Senneca and have no regrets whatsoever. Get the dog that you feel is right and don't let the boy/girl thing get in your way.

[Rave]

According to her, female dogs are sweeter, gentler and not nearly as hyper and don't need as many walks because they don't need to spread their scent as much as a male.

 

:lol: Thank you for my morning laugh. Nothing could be further from the truth. I have mostly females (currently 4 females, 1 male), and they are high-energy run like the wind dogs. Both are sweet, but would rather run 10 miles than cuddle in your lap. I know many not-so-sweet snarky females, in fact several of my friends insist the majority of BC females are snarky.

 

Get the dog you want.

[Lewis Moon]

OK, N=4 but my experience is that the boys we had were sweeter and more laid back. One of our foster boys, Max, was always putting his head on Cerb's back (Cerb was NOT amused) and marking over every P-mail Cerb sent. This stopped completely after his little nip and tuck. Both females were sweet to us but rather domineering to Cerb. One, Rose, attached herself to my daughter and was always at her side. We regret letting her go.

 

There are SO many variables to consider that any trait connected with sex is probably swamped out.

[MaryP]

I've seen very sweet females and very sweet males. They are all individuals. One thing that I have seen with female border collies is that they can tend to be snarky to other females. But again, nothing is absolute.

 

FWIW, all my personal dogs are males. My youngest is the sweetest and cuddliest and has the bestest personality ever. But, I would be open to a female in the future, if it was the right dog for me and fit with my other dogs.

 

ETA: And as others have said, I've seen females that mark more than males. My oldest is the one that marks the most (outside only, though). My other dogs rarely, if ever, mark and it was not something that I taught them.

 

Also ETA: Though I know what you meant, I want to pick on your topic title a little. Boys and girls are children. Dogs are either male or female, or bitches or dogs. It just always sounds weird to me when folks refer to dogs as boys and girls.

[Mark Billadeau]

Males and females both mark. We have females that lift a leg while marking.

 

It is my belief (based upon my observations) that gender associated traits do run in family lines (i.e. males are sweeter, females are more independent, etc) but are not consistent breed wide.

[urge to herd]

My limited experience, (3 females, 2 males) is that the girls do indeed 'mark' as much if not more than the boys. They may squat to do it, but I've seen Shonie in her younger days practically stand on her front legs to mark a shrub where a taller dog had peed.

 

Both Buzz and Gibbs were or are much more affectionate and human-seeking than the girls. What I remember of Tillie, my long ago cattle dog, was that she was middle of the road with affection, but she LOVED everyone, particularly babies and little kids. If she heard a baby crying, anywhere, she'd pant and whine until she found it and made sure the little mite was ok.

 

Sammi and Shonie were or are fairly independant. Shonie has to be where she can see me, but she doesn't car for stroking/petting except maybe once a month.

 

I agree with the others - go with the dog that your heart and gut desire. Gender doesn't matter, especially with such trainable, eager to work their little hearts out for you dogs.

 

And pictures, pictures, pictures!

 

Ruth

[Rebecca, Irena Farm]

Lynn is the first female I've ever had who didn't lift a leg and mark over every male pee spot on walks. This might change as she's gradually taking over some of privileges that were previously Maggie's.

 

Currently at four months shy of 18 years old Maggie can and insists on marking higher than everyone else here.

 

My female Chinese crested does a handstand to do her little tinkle as high as possible. Ie, both back legs in the air.

 

You can train any of the dogs to do their business and keep up on a street walk. It is way outside my confort level to wait here and there, when in town.

 

Females, ironically, are harder to convince, but it can still be done. Its done easily without "being the boss" in the sense that is popularized by certain training sets.

 

Sam is a service dog in advanced training. It took practically no training at all for him to learn that when his gear is on, he Does. NOT. PEE.

 

We are still working on his snatching the occasional sniff in a big box store. "WHOA! Giant box of Cocoa Puffs at nine o'clock Mom!!!"

[Rebecca, Irena Farm]

Oh, I forgot. My Border Collie females have mostly been all business. I did have one cuddler, but unfortunately, and ironically, she is a sheep killer. All of them were, well, bitchy in sine way.

 

Every single Border Collie male I've had was people focused. Not always touchy feelie but always "in touch" mentally. Their quirks are usually simple and have two or three session fixes, like territorial grumpiness.