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How do you say Goodbye?


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I'm at the same place you are, with my Whisper. It's arrogant to say I know how you feel, because I am not you and Whisper is not your Missy, but I know how I feel, so I can imagine you feel much the same. It's not easy, seeing our loved companions through their last days. We can only spoil them and make sure that they are comfortable. For myself, I am telling Whisper everything about how I feel, that I love her, that I'll miss her, that I will see her on the other side. She doesn't understand the words, but she understands the intent (I like to think so, anyway), and it does make me feel a tiny bit better.

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I'm so very sorry. This is the hardest part of having these wonderful creatures that we share our lives with. I really love how RDM put it...

 

Know that you and Missy are in our thoughts. Wishing you both the best for the time she has left with you.

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I'm at the same place you are, with my Whisper. It's arrogant to say I know how you feel, because I am not you and Whisper is not your Missy, but I know how I feel, so I can imagine you feel much the same.

 

I think you have a pretty good idea of how I'm feeling. I know that dog people best understand how I'm feeling. Words of comfort/wisdom from other dog people mean the world to me right now because I know that you've either been though it yourself, or can at least imagine yourself in my place. I mean my family does understand pretty well, and a couple of other relatives do, but then you get those comments from other people. The ones that are supposed to be helpful but just make you want to scream.

 

Someone told me recently "It's going to be a sad day when you don't have her anymore". huh? Sad? it's more like heart breaking what-am-I-going-to-do? but I can't explain it to them. But you guys do understand, I don't have to explain it. And that really means a lot to me!

 

 

On a happy note for today I took Missy along to work because she loves to go for rides. She was her spunky self and hopped right out of the car to go for a walk with the bosses dog. It has always made me smile to watch her enjoy life and even more so now!!

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I think you have a pretty good idea of how I'm feeling. I know that dog people best understand how I'm feeling. Words of comfort/wisdom from other dog people mean the world to me right now because I know that you've either been though it yourself, or can at least imagine yourself in my place. I mean my family does understand pretty well, and a couple of other relatives do, but then you get those comments from other people. The ones that are supposed to be helpful but just make you want to scream.

 

Someone told me recently "It's going to be a sad day when you don't have her anymore". huh? Sad? it's more like heart breaking what-am-I-going-to-do? but I can't explain it to them. But you guys do understand, I don't have to explain it. And that really means a lot to me!

Truly, I don't think I would have made it without the support and kind words I received when we lost Scooter so suddenly in February. They got me through one of the most horrific times in my life. Good people here. :)

 

Continuing to pray for you and Missy.

Pam

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I think for me, when it was Cheyenne's time, and when it was Holly's, I just kept telling myself how much they love us so unconditionally, that this is something I can do for them; to release them from their pain and suffering. They only know they are going to sleep and that nothing hurts any more. That is our gift to them. And I always believe that memories are hugs from those that are gone. My thoughts and prayers for you both.

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Definitely there is no way to say good-bye. Cherish every moment you had with your beloved dog, and feel thankful for these 9 years your were there for each other. If there is a heaven for them, they will play and run forever, what else can they ask for.

I just buried my Francisca with her favorite toys, I'm sure she'll find someone to play with her.

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Mara... You are a knitter... there may be a way to help your grieving heart. I crohook, which is sort of a cross of knit and crochet, so I grieve unborn babies that no one grieves openly for by crohooking a baby blanket and donating it to a good cause.

I am wondering if knitting something and giving it to a good cause in mejory of your beloved friend will help in a small yet active way for you. just an idea I'm sharing, because in a small way, it helps me.

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I too didn't want to believe it was my Emma's time, she had been with me my entire adult life. I knew in my heart that she didn't have the time my vet thought she did, just looking in her eyes. I tried to spend as much time with her as I could, when she felt like doing things I would do them with her only and when she didn't she could lounge on the couch with my son. The night that I knew it was time, I called my vets on call service and told them that this was her last night, my vet always said that I would know when it was time and I did. I still cry thinking about Emma and its been 2 months.

 

I don't think there is anyway to plan for it or make it easier, if you are anything like the rest of us though you don't want to see your dog suffer. Just cherish the time you have and know that your dog will live on through you!

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I don't really have anything to add as others have said it much better than I, but just wanted to say I'll be thinking of you and Missy.

 

I didn't know Maggie was going to leave us so soon, but because she collapsed a few weeks prior to her death I tried to make every day include at least one "good/loved" thing in case it was our last. Lots of long walks in the field across the street, a visit to my parents' and a hike with them, some fun training, etc.

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I am so sorry you are having to go thru this.

 

Honestly, I don't think you ever do say goodbye. When Missy is no longer with you physically and you think you see her out of the corner of your eye or you hear a familiar sound, just remember it's Missy looking over you. And over time, when you no longer think you are seeing her out of the corner of your eye or you no longer hear those sounds, it's not because Missy has left. It's because she knows you are going to be ok so she's off doing her thing waiting on the day the two of you will be together again.

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Honestly, I don't think you ever do say goodbye. When Missy is no longer with you physically and you think you see her out of the corner of your eye or you hear a familiar sound, just remember it's Missy looking over you. And over time, when you no longer think you are seeing her out of the corner of your eye or you no longer hear those sounds, it's not because Missy has left. It's because she knows you are going to be ok so she's off doing her thing waiting on the day the two of you will be together again.

:)

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If it should be that I grow weak,

And pain should keep me from my sleep,

Then you must do what must be done,

For this final battle cannot be won.

 

You will be sad, I understand.

Don't let your grief then stay your hand.

For this day, more than all the rest,

Your love for me must stand the test.

 

We've had so many happy years,

What is to come can hold no fears.

You'd not want me to suffer so.

The time has come, please let me go.

 

Take me where my need they'll tend

And please stay with me until the end.

Hold me firm and speak to me

Until my eyes no longer can see.

 

I know in time that you will see

The kindness that you did for me.

Although my tail its last has waved,

From pain and suffering I have been saved.

 

Please do not grieve it must be you

Who had this painful thing to do.

We've been so close, we two these years,

Don't let your heart hold back its tears.

 

~ Author Unknown

 

Been there, done that, too many times; it never gets easier...

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Losing that special presence is so hard and I'm sorry you're facing it. But as others who have beloved friends waiting at the bridge have said, there is no real goodbye as long as we carry them in our hearts. They're wiser than we are in some ways, living in and for the now as they do. We see the future without them and weep. They simply see us with them and rejoice. I don't have any answers, but my prayers are with you.

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