Ok, so what would *you* do?

[Ooky]

Understood! We totally offended some people years ago when we alluded to similarities we felt were good for raising both dogs and children. Although they are not the same, there are some principles that remain pertinent to the raising of both.

 

Tangent:

 

I couldn't agree more, personally. I am well aware my dog is not a child, but at the same time, I feel incredibly lucky to have had the experience of raising him from a puppy to 2 years old -- seeing first hand all along the importance of consistency, structure, rules, schedule (and when sometimes you can "earn" leeway in these areas after things are already going well), leadership vs. support/friendship, appropriate mental stimulation, and just a taste of responsibility that is more like kids than you get with other pets like cats -- BEFORE I have my first kid. I really think there is a lot that translates between the two, one of the best probably being, set things up to make the right easy and the wrong difficult, and also, don't reward what you don't want to see more of.

 

For example, I saw on a parenting group a question where this young woman was pulling out her hair over her toddler, who wanted to be carried all the time and had taken to screaming when she was set down. This was causing the mom a lot of back pain and really affecting her ability to take the kid anywhere and get anything done - for example, if she went shopping and had to put her down to write a check, the kid would scream to the point where she'd have to balance her while writing the check. She wanted to know what to do. Many of the other mothers wrote answers that frankly scared the h3ll out of me. They were all like, "shame on you for not wanting to do your job as parent, which is cater to HER needs. It is not such a BIG DEAL to carry your child around everywhere. Think about in prehistoric times, that's exactly what you would be doing - carrying your 2.5-yr old everywhere you went! (???) I had a similar thing and I just recognized MY kid's needs and carryied them" etc. One person wrote an answer that I felt I could live with, and it reminded me of the parts I understand about dog training. Their explanation was, "if you pick her up every time she screams, she's going to keep screaming whenever she wants to be picked up. If you don't like that behavior, and I wouldn't either, don't reward it! You have set yourself up for a fight now because you have rewarded it, but it can be undone. Don't pick her up when she screams. Insist she use her words, and do not give in until she can ask nicely. Then thank her for using her manners. If there are times that you need her to wait or not be picked up, explain to her that this is the case, and encourage her to be a 'big girl'. Be ready for a tantrum or two. Implement this at home first, and then work your way up to stores, realizing a tantrum may come and you'll have to take your child to a restroom or the car to let them calm themselves. It is GOOD for her to use her own legs sometimes, and also good for her to practice manners and use her speech to ask for things, rather than get in the habit of demanding things from you and controlling you."

 

As for the thread at hand, this is a good discussion! I agree it seems weird that the dog objected to stuff much more all the sudden, and that needs to be checked. But at the same time, it sounds like the dog was testing limits from early puppyhood, and finding none, which could in no way have helped the current situation and maybe with this particulardog was enough to lead to what happened with no physical cause or phycological abnormality needed. I also agree until the dog was viewed in person and until certain physical causes were ruled out, you'd have no idea really to what extent he was aggressive vs. fearful or just plain screwy.

[Eileen Stein]

My feeling is that the emphasis on "never having hit the dog" is an indication that this is the way the guy grew up with as far as dealing with a dog--hitting was what you did. I think he's trying a different method with this dog, and just couldn't find the happy medium.

 

I don't attribute much significance to these statements -- certainly no sinister significance. There are a lot of people -- and this guy sounds like one of them -- who believe that a dog will never try to bite a person unless the person has hit it or hurt it. So he assumes that YOU are going to assume that he must have hit the dog and that's why the dog is showing aggression, and he is accordingly very anxious to assure you that that's not so.

 

I still don't see any way you can figure out what's going on with this dog without seeing it.

[geonni banner]

I don't attribute much significance to these statements -- certainly no sinister significance. There are a lot of people -- and this guy sounds like one of them -- who believe that a dog will never try to bite a person unless the person has hit it or hurt it. So he assumes that YOU are going to assume that he must have hit the dog and that's why the dog is showing aggression, and he is accordingly very anxious to assure you that that's not so.

 

I still don't see any way you can figure out what's going on with this dog without seeing it.

 

It's also true that an awful lot of people assume all behavioral "issues" are caused by a dog having been physically abused. This man may be one of them, and afraid that you will assume that he "beat" his dog.

[sweet_ceana]

Just a clarification: They didn't ask Anna to come get the dog.They were afraid to put the dog in the car and take it to Anna for evaluation, so they asked Anna to come see (not come get) the dog at their house.

 

Thank you for the clarification. I read and commented late last night under the influence of benedryl.