Not BC - but we've all been there

[Jordi44]

This was sent to me by a horsey friend - but thought it applies to all animals and animal people. Kind of long - but truthfully funny.

 

Your Horses are on Fire!

By Baron Tayler, Originally published in Anvil Magazine in 1993.

 

Much as I love shoeing horses, my business interests have led me to design, patent, and manufacture machinery for farmers who work with draft animals.

 

Since the farmers and teamsters who use my machine work with draft animals almost exclusively, I acquired a few Percherons. They're the kindest, gentlest, most easygoing creatures on the earth, but owning them created a problem for me. I had only ten acres of pasture; that's a little more than three acres a horse-hardly enough to feed three 1800-pound horses year round without haying.

 

Luckily, a nearby farmer has a large pasture that he hasn't used since he retired. I moseyed over and asked if I could use the pasture for the Percherons during the winter when I'd run out of grass. You should have seen his cataract-clouded eyes light up! He told me he'd just turned 91 years old and had mourned the day he had sold his last team and converted to tractors. Yes, he said, he'd love to have the horses in his pasture.

 

October rolled around, and the horses finally ate the last stalk of grass in their field. I walked them down the rod and let them into the large pasture which was knee deep in lush forage. They were in horsy heaven. January arrived, and the horses had grown long, thick winter coats. The weather had been cold, but little in the way of snow. The field had a clump of trees in the middle and when it snowed, the horses snuggled up under a huge pine and slept.

 

With the first big snow came trouble. I was sitting at the breakfast table when the phone rang. It was a lady who lived in a house next to the pasture. She wanted to know if I owned the big horses. I told her that I did and asked her if there was something wrong. "The horses have no building to go into to get out of the snow," she said. I explained that they had a big tree to stand under, and that their dense coat was an excellent insulator. I assured her that the horses were quite comfortable. Semi-satisfied, she let me return to breakfast.

 

The following day the woman called back, and in a firm voice told me she was sure the horses were cold. I asked her how she knew this.

 

"Because they look cold," she replied.

 

"And in what way do they look cold?" I countered. Silence. Not a word for 30 seconds.

 

Finally, she said, "I just know they're cold!"

 

"Okay," I replied, "Why don't you meet me in the pasture in five minutes and, if the horses are cold, I'll take them into a barn." She agreed.

 

We met five minutes later. "Will they hurt me?: she asked. "Do they kick or bite?" It started to dawn on me that this woman was a busybody do-gooder who knew absolutely nothing about horses. With time on her hands, she probably decided that my horses needed rescuing and appointed herself their savior.

 

As soon as we entered the pasture, the horses trotted over looking for attention. Three 1800-pound "puppy dogs." After she watched me pet them for a few minutes I asked her if they looked cold. "Well, no," she replied, "but it's hard to tell with all the hair."

 

"Why don't you put your hand on one and see if it feels cold to the touch?" I asked. It was obvious she had never touched a horse before. Hesitantly, she reached out and touched one.

 

"Well, she said, "I have to admit that they do feel warm but I still wish they had a barn to go into."

 

Just then one of the horses dropped a big, steaming pile of manure on the snow. She stood looking at it, quite puzzled. "What's wrong?" I asked.

 

No reply at first. Then she said, "Why isn't the horse standing in the pile?"

 

"Why would he do that" I asked. "Because it would keep his feet warm," she replied. That snapped it! I was trying to talk logically with a certified nut case! I left her standing in the field.

 

The snow melted a few days later, and I hear nothing more. Then another storm hit that promised to be a keeper. With the temperature staying well below freezing, I knew the snow wouldn't melt for a while, which meant I had to start feeding bales of hay until the snow was gone. Since my daytime schedule was hectic, I found it easier to feed at night, usually around midnight. Two days after the snow had stopped falling, the old farmer called me. He said the woman was bothering him again, claiming the horses were not being fed. I assured him they were and told him of my nightly ritual.

 

The local animal protection society called the next day, explaining they received a report that I was starving my horses. I invited one of their inspectors to come out and see for himself. When the inspector arrived, I showed him the hay scattered over the field and explained my feeding schedule. I told him about the woman who believed horses should stand in their manure. I asked him to confirm my nightly feedings with a neighbor who had seen me feeding the horses. He did and was satisfied that the woman was, in his own worlds, a "Looney Tune."

 

A few weeks went by and along came another dusting of snow. The temperature hovered just around freezing, the snow melting as it hit the ground. The local animal control officer called. He was laughing so hard it was difficult to understand him. "Could I come over?" He asked. Fifteen minutes later he arrived, still laughing. His face was as red as a beet! I thought he was going to have a coronary on the spot. Finally, calmed down to a mild chuckle, he told me that a woman had reported my horses were on fire!

 

The officer apologized for the inconvenience of his visit, but it was office policy to investigate each complaint. I was too busy laughing to even notice. Regaining control of myself, I climbed into the officer's truck, and off we went to check on my "roasting" horses. When we arrived at the field, the sun was just starting to break through the clouds. Three gorgeous Percherons were standing there, contentedly munching on grass. Thick columns of steam rose off them as evaporated moisture in their coats condensed in the cold air. The officer and I were awed by the beauty of it, but soon the spell was broken. We both stated chuckling again, almost rolling on the ground. "Your horses are on fire!" the officer roared.

 

I never heard from the animal control people again. However, the woman continued pestering the old farmer with a myriad of odd ball complaints. I felt so sorry for him that I took the horses back to my place a month before I'd planned to. The farmer was sad to see them go. He still enjoys telling the story about those horses that were on fire.

[Dixie_Girl]

ROFLMAO! Thank you for the great chuckle this morning! I think I had that woman as a neighbor once!

[KrisK]

LOL! Thanks for the morning chuckle! I have the folks to thank on this board for helping educate me when it comes to horses. If you recall a while back I did ask about some horses in my area. I'm still watching to see if their situation changes but I did find out, that yes, the person was a 'horse' person so should know what is needed for their care. The sad thing I found out, these horses had been used to being on 350 acres of land....and are now confined to this paddock I hope that situation will improve by next spring.

[painted_ponies]

Oh, there are plenty of "horse people" who are fairly clueless about this kind of thing, too, Kris. I moved my horses home about a month ago from their boarding stable. They have plenty of pasture, I give them pretty close to as much hay as they'll eat (eating hay keeps horses warm), and their field is protected by thick woods on two sides. And I'm in South Carolina, hardly known for its harsh winters.

 

Anyway, you wouldn't believe how many of my horse friends think it's awful that I don't have their shelter finished yet. If it were summer, and they had no shade, I'd agree with them - but forty degrees F to a horse feels about like 70F does to a human. The coldest it normally gets here is 25F but lows in the thirties are more common.

 

So far I have stopped myself from reminding them of how many of their horses have been injured and/or gotten sick from being turned out swaddled in their blankets - but once Santy Claus isn't watching, I may be unable to resist.

[Dixie_Girl]

Well, Kris, we know your heart is in the right place! And just being a "horse person" don't mean you'll do the right thing! My horsse went from a 100 acres to about a 1 acre lot. And he was by his lonesome! But he did fine! Keep us posted!

[Jordi44]

Just remember that horses are like dogs - just because someone owns one doesn't mean they know anything about them.

[Tammy525]

There is a horse in a field down the road a ways who is always wearing its blanket if the weather's high is anything lower than 45-50 degrees farenheit.

 

It looks to be a regular size short hair horse. Do they not need blankets? The horses next door never wear blankets, but always go in their barn at night.

 

Just curious. Don't worry, I'll never be owning a horse. Being able to watch them across the field fulfills all my horse needs!! There are sheep on the other side of the street, I am a lucky lady.

[Tammy525]

Oh, and the story was the funniest I have heard in a really long time. LLLLLOL

[Bill Fosher]

In New Hampshire, horses owners are required by law to provide access to at least a run-in shed for horses from Nov. 15 to April 15.

 

There's a man who logs with his horses here in town, and I have yet to see those heavy horses go into a run-in shed. They love to get on the trailer to go work, though.

[Bula's Lady]

Blanketing horses depends on the horse and the owner...

 

Most horses in their prime do not need coats if they are allowed to grow one. A lot of people get in the trend of blanketing their horses early which seems to stunt the growth of the hair.

 

Horses who have been pampered always need to be pampered. Those who haven't don't need too..

 

Its true about the hay...just feed them and they are warm...

 

Awesome story!!

[Lunar]

LOLOL Oh my gosh, that's a great story.

[painted_ponies]

Originally posted by Tammy525:

There is a horse in a field down the road a ways who is always wearing its blanket if the weather's high is anything lower than 45-50 degrees farenheit.

 

It looks to be a regular size short hair horse. Do they not need blankets? The horses next door never wear blankets, but always go in their barn at night.

It depends. Some people keep their horses' hair clipped very short, like it is in summer, for show purposes or just to make it easier to keep them clean in winter. Those horses probably do need blankets, although in fifty degree F weather probably not. Lots of people are like grandma used to be - I'm cold, so you have to put on a sweater.

 

A horse's coat will fluff up when it's cold and trap an insulating layer of warm air between the horse's skin and the outside cold. That's why they do need a windbreak, because their coat can't trap and heat air as efficiently in a strong wind. Same for soaking rain, although if they're not groomed their coat has enough oil to be somewhat water-repellant.

 

The danger with leaving blankets on is that the horse will sweat under them when daytime temps warm into the forties and fifties, and then when nighttime temps drop they're standing there with damp hair matted down by a blanket, so no insulation. Horses can get sick from conditions like that.

[Guest pax]

I do horses for a living.

 

Some are blanketed, some are not. Depends on the horse, his work, and his history. For example, the horses we get in from Florida, they get blankets when the weather drops under 60....which would be ridiculous for the pony who lives here year round.

 

Some are clipped out, fully, or partially, which you might not be able to see underneath a blanket. They would need more blanketing than one with a full coat. Whether or not they are clipped can depend on whether or not they are in work. If you work a horse with a full coat, and they get hot, and sweaty, it's hard to make sure they get cooled and dried well enough without clipping them out.

 

Older horses get blanketed more than the youngsters..usually just to keep them more comfortable, but also to help manage their weight...cold horses expend a lot more energy trying to keep warm, and sometimes older horses can have a hard time keeping their weight on, when they aren't in as regular work over the winter.

 

I draw a line at cold and wet at the same time....cold, ok, wet, ok, cold AND wet...not ok. We blanket accordingly. They have different blankets for different weather condidtions...lightweight, waterproof, breathable, etc. My horses have better clothes than I do. ; )

 

Mine do not have run ins. We just don't turn out if the wind/weather is bad enough to need them. We do use the indoor ring to turn out those that need it for exercise or mental health.

 

I think it depends also on where you are on the globe. Nekkid horses in the tropics...yay! Nekkid horses in Thunder Bay, Ontario...probably not so much yay.

 

And I am the original Grandma..."I'm cold, go put more clothes on." : )

[Guest pax]

Er...I can't figure out how to edit the above post...when I say, "I do horses for a living"..what I mean is...this is what I do and what works for me...based on my experience. NOT..."I know better than anybody and what I say is the only truth."

 

Just didn't want to come off wrong when I am essentially a newbie here. : )

 

Cheers!

[painted_ponies]

Originally posted by pax:

Er...I can't figure out how to edit the above post...when I say, "I do horses for a living"..what I mean is...this is what I do and what works for me...based on my experience. NOT..."I know better than anybody and what I say is the only truth."

 

Just didn't want to come off wrong when I am essentially a newbie here. : )

 

Cheers!

Pax - welcome aboard! If you want to edit, just click on the little pencil icon at the top of the post. Not that I think you need to edit - I just took your "I do horses for a living" to mean you make your living from horses in some way, like a farrier or trainer or some such.