luv2napp Posted August 26, 2007 Report Share Posted August 26, 2007 I got Katie from Border Collie Rescue of TX in Jan. 1999. We had recently moved to TX from VA and I was pretty depressed, being so far from home and everyone I knew. I've always had a dog in my life, my favorite being my BC I had when my husband and I first got married. I wasn't used to not having one to care for, so I started searching the rescues. It took four months, but when I saw Katie, I knew she was the one. The wonderful people from rescue drove all the way from Houston to Laredo, a 5 1/2 hour drive, to deliver her to me. She was a little shy at first, but after a couple of days, she bonded deeply with me. She was my shadow from that day on, until her last day. After about a month, she got sick. The vets couldn't figure out what the problem was, but she was losing weight and coughing. Her former foster mom decided to drive down and take Katie back up to Houston to have a vet there look at her. She was gone for over a month and boy did I miss her. It ended up being hook warms, which was making her seriously ill. The rescue paid the bill for this (bless them) and asked if I wanted her back. OF COURSE I wanted her back. So our life together began in earnest. She had a few problems that needed to be dealt with. She had severe separation anxiety, severe thunder phobia and was terrified of men. It took two years for her to even approach my husband. I got my second rescued BC, Lacee, March, 2001. After that, Katie started relaxing more. She decided men weren't so bad and being left alone was OK. The only thing she wouldn't get over was the thunder phobia. We just learned to leave her be during those times, she would go into the back of my closet until the storm passed. Katie loved to play ball. She would always have a ball by her side or in her mouth. She would fall asleep with it in her mouth. That was too cute! Her and Lacee were great sisters, always together. Then came the time we moved back to VA. So off we drove, a 3 1/2 day trip, with my son, Katie, Lacee and a hamster in the back of a quad cab pickup. It was a great trip, both dogs were wonderful. I think they had fun at the hotels. We settled in pretty good, but had the adjustment of not having a yard anymore. Katie was content to lay around...she was always what I call a lazy border collie. As long as I was within her sight, she was happy. As soon as I moved to another room, up she jumps to follow. I was home all day, every day, so we were always together. Well, last Thanksgiving, my MIL decided we needed to go to London to visit my husband's brother, who lives there. I really didn't want to go, I hated leaving the animals. But they insisted. So I searched and searched for somewhere to put the girls and found the perfect person. She boards dogs out of her home, they are there 24 hrs., and the dogs get to stay in their house. AND, she has three BC's of her own. What better place for the girls. We were only gone a week, but it was a long week. I was ready to get home and have my girls back. I know Lacee had a blast, but I was told that Katie just laid under the table and really didn't want to play. She looked very thin to me when she came home and seemed depressed. She started throwing up, but I factored it to be upset at being left. A couple of days after her coming home, I was brushing her and felt huge knots under all of her legs and neck. They were the size of a peach. It scared me, so I called the vet and they took her right in. We found out that she had lost 4 lbs since she had been to the vet two weeks prior. (We had to get their kennel cough shot before boarding them). They took fluid out of all the nodes and all of them came back high for cancer. She was put on steroids, which seemed to help for a while, but then she went back down hill. As we were thinking of the next step, Katie had trouble breathing and the vet did a sono, seeing that the cancer had spread to the nodes of her lungs and liver and her heart was enlarged. I was told there wasn't any more we can do. She was going fast. As I watched her struggling to breath, I knew what I had to do. Dec. 28th, exactly one month after being diagnosed, I put Katie to sleep. I held her head the whole time and balled like a baby. I kept telling her how sorry I was, how I loved her so very much. I was the last face she saw. A piece of my heart went with her. I've never had a dog that was so close to me, Katie was my girl. She was special. I hope she's in doggie heaven, holding a ball in her mouth. She was my Katie Bug. (Whether logical or not, to this day, I blame myself. If I hadn't left her, she wouldn't have gotten stressed and maybe this wouldn't have happened. She was only 9. She should have lived another few years.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aljones Posted August 26, 2007 Report Share Posted August 26, 2007 Your post brought tears to my eyes. Having also had a BC with cancer, I know all about the temptation to blame yourself, especially when you've been away from the dog shortly before it becomes ill. But this truly sounds like a situation where Katie's health was out of your hands. You did the best you could for her, all throughout her life, and your taking a trip certainly didn't cause her cancer. Please don't beat yourself up (I know, I know...easier said than done). I'm sure Katie knew just how much you loved her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest WoobiesMom Posted August 26, 2007 Report Share Posted August 26, 2007 Oh Diane, I am so sorry. Your Katie had a great life and you were there to say good bye, that's all that matters. My Rush died a few days after I came back from a 1 week trip and I blame myself too. But deep down, we both know that's not what killed them, it was just the way life goes. I'm sure what mattered most to Katie is that you were there to hold her and let her know how much you loved her. I'm sure she's waiting patiently for you. I explained it to St. Peter, I'd rather stay here Outside the pearly gate. I won't be a nuisance, I won't even bark, I'll be very patient and wait, I'll be here, chewing on a celestial bone, No matter how long you may be. I'd miss you so much, if I went in alone, It wouldn't be heaven for me. Unknown Author Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShoresDog Posted August 26, 2007 Report Share Posted August 26, 2007 Gosh, your relationship with Katie was so special! I am very sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allie Oop Posted August 27, 2007 Report Share Posted August 27, 2007 Sorry to hear about your loss of Katie. I loved a beloved dog to cancer two years ago and it was very hard for us, so I know how you feel. She sounds like a wonderful dog and she was very beautiful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G. Festerling Posted August 27, 2007 Report Share Posted August 27, 2007 I am so sorry about your loss. You must still be missing her something terrible. She sure was a special gal! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luv2napp Posted August 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 27, 2007 Thanks for all your support. I know we all either have gone through this, or will go through this eventually. I love hearing about everyone's special dog and why that dog was so special. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samantha J Posted August 28, 2007 Report Share Posted August 28, 2007 Katie was a beautiful girl. I am very sorry for your loss. Most of us on here i think understand how hard it is and how much it hurts when they have gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shannon RN Posted September 4, 2007 Report Share Posted September 4, 2007 Your story sounds just like mine. I am so sorry for your loss. Katie was a beautiful girl. I too blame myself for not realizing Conner's leukemia. It's so hard to watch our dear ones suffer. You did the kindest thing for her by ending her suffering...I knew when I looked in Conner's eyes those last days that it was the right thing to do...I'm sure you did too. My thoughts are with you. I've saved this cartoon for over ten years. Thank you to whom ever is responsible. (I'm thinking there may be laser pointers, soccer balls, and frisbees too!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luv2napp Posted September 4, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 4, 2007 Your story sounds just like mine. I am so sorry for your loss. Katie was a beautiful girl. I too blame myself for not realizing Conner's leukemia. It's so hard to watch our dear ones suffer. You did the kindest thing for her by ending her suffering...I knew when I looked in Conner's eyes those last days that it was the right thing to do...I'm sure you did too. My thoughts are with you. I've saved this cartoon for over ten years. Thank you to whom ever is responsible. (I'm thinking there may be laser pointers, soccer balls, and frisbees too!) Conner was beautiful! I, too, am sorry for your loss. Have you gotten another BC? I still have Lacee, but have been debating whether to get her a brother or sister. Thanks for sharing the cartoon....It's perfect!! I wish I had seen this last Dec. It might have made the pain a little less. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OurBoys Posted September 4, 2007 Report Share Posted September 4, 2007 I am so sorry for your loss. I haven't lost a BC to cancer but I have lost a GS x to it. She was only 6 1/2 yo. For a long time I blamed myself. Why didn't I catch it? Why didn't I realize something was wrong? When I stopped and looked back, I realize Casey wasn't the type to complain. She always did her best to be happy. I had adopted her when she was about 8-9 mo old from a bad situation. I think she always appreciated that. Of course, reading threads like this always brings back the memories but I wanted to past something along to you I read one time. I hope it helps you as much as it helped me. "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." I, too, wish I could have had more years with Casey. But at least I have my memories. I hope your memories of Katie brings a smile to your face and not tears to your eyes soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luv2napp Posted September 5, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 5, 2007 I am so sorry for your loss. I haven't lost a BC to cancer but I have lost a GS x to it. She was only 6 1/2 yo. For a long time I blamed myself. Why didn't I catch it? Why didn't I realize something was wrong? When I stopped and looked back, I realize Casey wasn't the type to complain. She always did her best to be happy. I had adopted her when she was about 8-9 mo old from a bad situation. I think she always appreciated that. Of course, reading threads like this always brings back the memories but I wanted to past something along to you I read one time. I hope it helps you as much as it helped me. "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." I, too, wish I could have had more years with Casey. But at least I have my memories. I hope your memories of Katie brings a smile to your face and not tears to your eyes soon. Thank you for your kind words. I'm sorry about your loss also. And thank you for that wonderful saying. It really does make me feel better, happy that I had the time with her that I did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shannon RN Posted September 5, 2007 Report Share Posted September 5, 2007 Conner was beautiful! I, too, am sorry for your loss. Have you gotten another BC? I still have Lacee, but have been debating whether to get her a brother or sister. Thanks for sharing the cartoon....It's perfect!! I wish I had seen this last Dec. It might have made the pain a little less. The man that gave me Conner 10 years ago emailed me just a few weeks after I lost Conner...his BC had puppies and I get first pick! I am flying to Denver mid October for my new baby. A house just isn't a home without a border collie! For now it is just Charlotte my Aussie and me. You know...for me it was so fast. Conner was acting fine on Sunday and then Wednesday she was on deaths door. It's so hard to process how something like this could happen so quickly. All we can do is make their lives as wonderful as we can for as long as we can and in return we get the same from them. My thoughts are with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luv2napp Posted September 5, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 5, 2007 The man that gave me Conner 10 years ago emailed me just a few weeks after I lost Conner...his BC had puppies and I get first pick! I am flying to Denver mid October for my new baby. A house just isn't a home without a border collie! For now it is just Charlotte my Aussie and me. You know...for me it was so fast. Conner was acting fine on Sunday and then Wednesday she was on deaths door. It's so hard to process how something like this could happen so quickly. All we can do is make their lives as wonderful as we can for as long as we can and in return we get the same from them. My thoughts are with you. Oh my goodness....those puppies are so cute!! Don't you just want to hold them right now? Do you know which one you are choosing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shannon RN Posted September 5, 2007 Report Share Posted September 5, 2007 Oh my goodness....those puppies are so cute!! Don't you just want to hold them right now? Do you know which one you are choosing? No decision yet...waiting to see what their personalities are! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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