mbc1963

I was just thinking about "Robinson Crusoe" today, and thinking that "Friday" would be a cool name for a dog. Mary

Er... yup! I guess the second video is the one I meant. ::Sheepish grin:: Mary

I'm really not into the politics of HSUS and PETA, but I thought this ad was a clever parody, anyway: Mary

I totally get the application fee. I teach at a public middle school, where the budget has been cut and cut and cut for the last 8 years. We have lost so many teachers and programs it's not funny. So, lots of parents are sending their kids to local private high schools. That means that the English and math teachers at my school get dumped on to fill out many, many application forms. A couple years ago, they had to complete more than 75 forms - from a small pool of kids who applied to 4 or 5 schools each. Now, the private high schools charge application fees of $50 or $100, which I assume covers the cost of paying someone to read and evaluate the kids. But we, the sending public school, are not allowed to do any sort of "get serious" fee for the work of completing the paperwork required of us. So, kids get an idea to apply to this school or that school, and our English and math teachers have to spend hours and hours of free time helping the kids get into these schools... and it benefits our school not at all. In fact, I'd say it harms us, because these are hours the teachers should be spending planning the lessons for ALL the kids. ::Sigh:: If we could just charge a nominal fee of $20 per application, it would make the parents and students be a bit more serious about where they're applying. And maybe we could buy... say... some staples or printer paper or something. I'm all for it. Mary

I'm in Massachusetts, and agree that the Frontline products don't seem to be much use anymore. Put some on my dog one day, and found dozens of deer tick nymphs on him a couple days later. I switched to K9 Advantix II, and haven't found a single tick on my dog this year, which by all accounts is insanely heavy with ticks. (I have found a dog tick on myself - UGH!) Mary

Describes me and my dog to a T, also! I was just telling my sister that after Buddy dies goes to the Rainbow Bridge, I almost feel like I should take in another fearful/reactive dog - because I have some experience and knowledge that would make things ever so much easier on everyone. PLUS, a quiet and calm house without a lot of comings and goings. However... I have also been telling people that when Buddy dies goes to the Rainbow Bridge, I'm going to enjoy traveling - fly to Europe, take off for long weekends whenever I want. Being the Big Trusted Human for a reactive dog does limit one's ability to socialize and travel on a whim. It's a very meaningful relationship, but challenging sometimes. ::Sigh:: Good job on Kelso, though. It's so exciting to see the leaps. I still (after 7 years!) will suddenly find Buddy willing to do things that he would never do in the past. Ran into my brother and sister-in-law, whom he rarely sees, and he went right up to them for petting and a treat. He would never have done that three years ago, and I'm not sure when he actually became OK with random strangers, like he is now. Small, incremental steps that just reveal themselves all at once. Mary

So, this is what my feed store had in stock as a replacement option for the TOTW Bison I had to return because of the recall: http://www.nutrisourcedogfood.com/nutrisource/products/gf_heartland Anyone used it, have any experience with it? Mary

I just returned my bag - refund, replacement bag of a similar content made elsewhere - and the store had returned ALL the affected bags, as requested by the manufacturer. I'm surprised other stores didn't do the same. I'm not too worried about the Salmonella scare - and it seems so wasteful to throw out a whole bag of food. But, better safe than sorry. I do think that in the days before the Internet, there were probably Salmonella and E. coli outbreaks aplenty, that we just never heard about because the technology to share this information on a large-scale basis just didn't exist. Heck, I grew up in a childhood world where we regularly ate raw cookie dough. I suspect that in general, our food is as safe as ever - if not safer. We just know more about every little glitch. Mary

And... that's my bag this time! Sheesh. I've already fed Buddy like 1/4 of the bag, and I'm pretty sure it's not contaminated with Salmonella. Seems like a lot of work to go buy another bag and wait 6 weeks for a refund check. ::Sigh:: Mary

I love stories like this! The great joy of seeing a fearful dog PLAY without reservation is unbeatable! Congratulations. Mary

Root Beer is RIGHT. And as another owner of a fearful and reactive dog, I agree with everything she typed. Contrast your socialization class with what my trainer did for Buddy: 1) He came to my house to meet my dog - who was, at that point, about 2 years old and had lived on the streets for most of his life (from what we know) and was then in loud, crowded shelter environments for about 2 months. After watching my dog from a distance for about 1 hour, he then came on a walk with us and observed my dog's behavior to stimuli. At that point, he said that he felt my dog was fearful and reactive, rather than aggressive. 2) He allowed my dog to come to a puppy training class, but provided a chair in a quiet spot in the room where my dog and I could simply watch the commotion. We came early, and the trainer just sat calmly and slipped Buddy tuna fish (from his sandwich), because Buddy was scared of him as well as every other human. Buddy was tethered to me and hid under a folding chair, as you describe, for perhaps 10 or 15 minutes that first time. The trainer kept his eye on Buddy, and when he felt like Buddy was over his threshold - pushed beyond the limits of his endurance - he had me walk Buddy out and leave the room. 3) The next class, Buddy hid under the chair again for a while, but managed to stay longer. This continued from week to week. The key was always watching Buddy for signs that he was over his threshold, and as soon as he reached that point (or - hopefully! - just before he reached that point!) he was removed to a calm, quiet environment. 4) By the end of the 6 week class, Buddy was able to do a little bit of on-leash walking around the room as the other puppies were moving - but we made sure that there was ALWAYS a big space between Buddy and the other dogs/puppies. He was never required to interact with another dog unless he was making the choice - by pulling toward the other dog. 5) After the first round of classes, Buddy did a second puppy class with this guy - maybe 2 months later. During the second class, he was actually able to participate in most of the training, and didn't get over threshold at all, as long as he had his space. The concept of threshold of stimulation is KEY in a reactive dog. Once over threshold, it is not possible for the dog to respond normally to any situation. And the threshold has a lot of variables. A single dog barking at a distance of 20 meters might be fine - but 2 dogs barking at the same distance might be over threshold. A single, calm dog at 2 meters might be fine, while an active dog at 10 meters might be over threshold. For Buddy, a play session with a single familiar dog is fine - but toss another familiar dog into the mix, and it turns into a fight - there's just too much distraction and chaos for Buddy to process. Noise, activity level, posturing... they all play into what my dog finds to be "too much." The best thing I learned to do was advocate FOR Buddy: say, "It's too much now," and walk away. He learned that he can trust ME to make him safe, and people even comment that they see him checking with me on things - as if to say, "Is this OK, Mom?" Good luck! Advocate for your pup, and you will be his best friend in navigating the scary world. Mary

::Sigh:: Welcome to my world. Seven years in, I still have no solution to your problem. It seems as though some people simply cannot understand this concept of "leave the dog alone, dummy." One thing I've done that has worked for random approaching strangers is to say, "Would you give him a treat?" For some people - especially kids - this seems to be an even more exciting interaction than patting the dog, and I've found that they're happy to pass off the treat and then back off. It's also helped Buddy get a sense that often, strangers = treats. For my friends who love dogs and assume that Buddy will therefore come to them, all I can do is watch as their frustration grows - Buddy won't give them what they want. It must be a tenet of some religion, somewhere: that which you desire will not come to you until you stop desiring it. Mary

Absolutely inexcusable. If I take my dog in for a minor issue, they always call the next day to check and see how he's doing. They also follow up with calls after blood tests come back normal. That vet should most definitely pay you for all this extra cost. Good luck getting her well! Mary

My father's old dog was 14. She was my baby - I lived at home the year they got her, and loved her like my own dog. She had hemangiosarcoma, and we brought her home to let her live out her last days. My parents went away for a weekend, and I was watching the dog. I could tell she was going; she had slipped back to not eating, moving slowly and painfully. I actually called my sister on Saturday and said, "This dog is going to die. Should I take her to the vet and have her put down?" My sister encouraged me to wait until my parents got home. Well, Tuesday morning, my father woke up to the sound of screaming. The dog was wracked with some kind of incredibly painful seizure or brain bleed. My 76-year-old father had to carry his writhing, screaming dog to the car and manage to drag her into the vet's office to be put down. He remembers this horrific moment with great and intense pain. If I think about this, I regret it - every single time. I could have saved the dog and my father the horrible end. I chose not to - and it was bad for the dog, my dad, and me. I would choose 1,000 times wondering if I had done it too soon if I could wipe out my father's memory of those last hours. Mary

I have twice opted to delay a dog's passing - in both cases more for my interests or the interests of loved ones than for the dog, I believe. I have tried to make myself a firm promise not to do this again, and hope I can stand by my decision when the difficult time comes. I wish, too, that we could set up a culture that allowed me to make a similar decision about my own life. Mary

I'm only sharing my experience with my one very specific fearful and reactive dog, but in Buddy's case: First: I spent a couple weeks doing the "collar yank" when he reacted out of fear - and could see that all I was doing was adding ME to the list of unpredictable things in the world that scared Buddy. Yeesh. Was glad I let that go very early. Buddy's behavior seemed very unpredictable at first - why he would react with growling and barking. But after a little while, I began to see that it was very, very (entirely) predictable. Once I learned his triggers, I was able to desensitize him. I learned that if I gave him enough distance at first, and did treat/reward when he was near them, he could overcome them. NOt fast. It took months, and patient fellow dog walkers, before he could walk next to people rather than 50 feet behind them. To get used to specific men bending over him, or patting him, he had to work for long, long times with those specific men. I say "friend, friend" in a sing-song voice, which he equates with someone who gives treats. There was no real generalizing: he still doesn't like strange men moving too quickly toward him. But, after 7 years, he sees the potential for treats when strangers move near him, and it's starting to sink in, I think. Ran into my brother and sister-in-law out walking this morning; he hasn't spent much time with them, but he happily approached and offered kisses. So, the theme of the above paragraph is: yes, absolutely, dogs can get over these things. But it's often one step forward, two steps back. And it's not fast. And it's work. But totally worth it. Now, I know it seems like your neighbor made friends with Edgar, and then shouldn't have evoked reaction from him later, when he approached the ball. But, for my dog, many meetings - canine and human - are required to produce familiarity. And then there's context, context, context. Buddy can sit with my friend in the living room, but if she goes to the bathroom and then comes back in, it's like a new situation entirely. Or, say, she's in my car instead of my house. Or she comes in a different door. I can't explain it, but I just deal with it. Don't let Edgar get into situations where he's over threshold. You'll soon be able to predict them. I learned to keep Buddy under his threshold by removing him from situations that got "too much." (One dog is OK. Two dogs is stressful. A dog park is hell.) I go along with those who tell you to see qualified professional help. I found a trainer early on who just happened to be experienced with reactive dogs and with reading Buddy's body language. Having good advice made me far more comfortable with my own behavior - and from then on, it was just a matter of practice and fine-tuning. I have a content, pampered house dog now, when seven years ago I thought I had a candidate for euthanasia. He's got foibles that I guard against, but he's a great companion for me. Thought you might like to hear a success story. Mary

Excellent! That is so sweet! Mary

<3 <3 <3 I have been wanting to see that Kelso play with a kitten. So funny. And the cat is like, "You other dudes - leave us alone. I'm playing with KELSO!!!" The circling dog reminds me of my Buddy. He would NOT approve of that kind of hijinks going on in his living room. Mary

Well, if you're going to be flexible about the fence rule, depending on the dog and the family - why would you need to publish any hard and fast rule about a fenced yard? If you believe that apartment dwellers and condominium owners and folks who can't afford a fence but will leash walk frequently can make good dog owners... then acknowledge that by not eliminating them from your process. That would go a long way toward dispelling the notion that rescues are inflexible or rigid. Ditto with rules about owners' working full-time, or doggie-doors, or what-have-you. I was just browsing child-adoption sites, trying to find the notorious rule that families would be ruled out unless they have a bedroom per child. (That always seemed like a dreadful rule, given how most genetically-related children I grew up with in the 70s shared a bedroom with 2 or 3 siblings, and how many kids are waiting for homes.) I was unable to find such a rule - though admittedly I didn't look hard - and I was glad. I suspect that adoption agencies realized that such hard-and-fast rules turned away excellent prospective parents, and kept children out of loving homes. (I believe they've also loosened rules about transracial adoptions and adoptions by low-income families for the same reasons.) Seems to me that a similar shift away from rigid rules to more dog-specific decisions makes as much sense in the dog-adoption world as it does in the human-adoption one. Mary

Regarding those of us who haven't actually tried to adopt via rescue, but are being told our understanding of the actual process is based on a flawed understanding: I've just visited the site of a phenomenally successful rescue group I admire, which does wonderful work. But, when I click on "adoption application," I find this: "1. Do you have a 5 foot or higher fenced-in yard or an electronic fence? No _______ Yes _____ If you have a LARGE unfenced property, pls describe details below. We do make some exceptions to the fencing requirement but the property must be large and more rural." I have a 4-foot fence. I live in the city on 1/4 acre. I have never, ever owned a dog who had any desire to jump or climb a fence, nor do I believe any dog I ever owned could have climbed this fence if they had wanted to. I suspect that surely, there are many dogs at this rescue who lack climbing and jumping ability and/or desire? Wouldn't I be an appropriate home for one of those lazier or less nimble dogs? As a person in the general population, when I open that application, I see the very first question, and immediately shut down the application and proceed to seek my dog elsewhere. If I am indeed a potentially "good" dog owner (and I challenge you to find anyone who knows me who doesn't think I'm over the top about caring for my dog), why close the door to me right there on the very first page? As a dedicated dog owner, my reaction is more or less an irritated shrug - and I don't think it's an unjustified irritation. Some folks may have incorrect perceptions about rescue - but it's also true that some of us are basing our perceptions on the hurdles that rescues set up in their own literature. I would strongly argue that this particular misconception (if it is a misconception that I need not apply to this rescue) sits on the shoulders of the rescue group who wrote the application, and not on my shoulders. If a 5' fence isn't necessary, don't tell me on the very first page that it's necessary. I'm not damning rescue or this particular rescue - as I said, I admire their work. However, if there is to be any progress made regarding the public's perception that adopting is too difficult, there's got to be a discussion that doesn't immediately de-evolve into defensiveness and the need to write me and my perception off as "ignorant." Some of the perception is based in reality. Mary

This. If there were one rare complaint about this topic from the occasional crackpot, I'd say, "Keep doing what you're doing! Hooray!" But when this subject comes up and many, many non-crackpot people can quote situations where good homes were denied to dogs because rescues have standards more rigid than those of child services... then perception is a problem, and I start to believe that there might be a problem beyond mere perception. I live alone, didn't have a fenced yard 7 years ago (when I got my dog) and occasionally have to work 12-hour days. A poor candidate to adopt from many rescues. And yet, I wake at 5:00 to give my dog an hour-long walk in the morning, and I drive him to local parks where he can get an hour-long, off-leash run in the afternoons. I haven't taken a vacation in 7 years, because my dog is reactive and I don't want to leave him in a kennel, and can't leave him in homes of my siblings, who have dogs of their own. At any rate, the public's perception of the work of rescue is the business of rescue. When the public states its perception, it does rescue no good to get angry and start insulting the public. If rescue can't make its points in a positive way - having learned to deal with and perhaps correct sometimes-inaccurate perceptions - then it shoots itself in the foot. When I hear rescue workers complain about the no-goods who apply for their dogs, I think about my own life "on paper" and honestly, sometimes I feel like rescue workers are complaining about me. And I breathe a sigh of relief that I got my dog from a shelter, because he might have missed the chance to have this pretty damned good life he's had with me, and I would have missed the time I've had with him. Mary

Excellent! I know a guy who adopted an Aussie who'd been in a crate her whole life. He thought she was crippled - her back legs were smaller and much less muscular than a normal dog's legs. But... after a few months of exercise, the legs looked normal. They had just been atrophied by life in a crate. (This was quite a young dog - so I imagine she rebounded better than an older dog would.) Mary

Interesting notion! Many BCs have difficulty with goldens and labs and doodles... mine included. (Buddy's worst nightmare is a 12-month-old "friendly" lab charging at him. He'll correct, and the dumb dog will return over and over for more corrections. Aiiee!) It would make sense that "friendliness" toward humans (read: willingness to approach all without inhibition) might be linked to social cluelessness in general. Mary

It is normal behavior for a dog to "air snap" at another dog who is all up in his face. It's basically a dog's way of saying, "Back off, dude," but since dogs don't have hands, they use a face/mouth display to give a "push." There's a world of difference between doing that (and occasionally making contact, as is bound to happen with ears and noses protruding out) and attacking another dog. My dog will try to push another dog back, but as soon as he has 18 inches or so of air space, stops his display. He will never willingly engage a dog he's afraid of; in fact, he will walk off to the side of the path and act extremely interested in sniffing the underbrush to avoid any engagement. I'm guessing that most dog owners have found themselves in a situation where one dog snapped at another dog. Most of the time, there's no blood. To imply that any dog who might snap at another dog needs to wear a basket muzzle is to over-generalize - every dog would be wearing one. So, I think it's fair to say that Orbit, while on the reactive side of the scale, isn't a vicious dog or even an aggressive one. Leashing a dog works great most of the time - but when I'm leash-walking Buddy, there's a regular and predictable chance that a stupid dog-owner will let his "friendly" dog come charging at me. My favorite was the Doberman owner who, after I pulled a snarling Buddy to the middle of a big, grassy field and had him do a "lie down" to avoid the big dog who was causing him to react, unleashed the Dobie to allow him to trot at Buddy. While calling, "My dog is FRIENDLY." When I replied, "Mine is NOT," she said, "Well my dog isn't going to DO anything." Great. That's very helpful when I'm in the middle of a fight between your 100-lb dog and my dog, who's connected to me by a leash. I protect Buddy from these situations when I can. I call out, "My dog's not friendly," and I take him off the path to give him space... or, if the other dog is interested in treats, I'll actually hold that dog's collar until the owners can come. (Buddy will not react if the other dog isn't too close.) But, I have to say, it is absolutely NOT my job to manage my dog so well on leash that no other dog ever approaches him or annoys him. We have a leash law in my town, and my dog is visibly leashed in the presence of any other humans. (In the woods, he runs free - his recall is rock-solid.) If some other idiot allows their dog to charge freely at leashed dogs, then the charging dog is going to get snapped at some time. That is horrendous doggie manners, and adult dogs know that, and will scold the way dogs scold. Sometimes, they'll make contact (just like little kids in a tussle can dole out a black eye or bloody nose), but that doesn't mean they're vicious. I learned with Buddy to tell myself, "You don't have a different dog because you saw him react like that. You just have a better understanding of the dog he always was." You live and you learn. And with a reactive dog, you manage as best you can, and you learn that you can't control the world. The world sometimes needs to take responsibility for itself. Orbit's owner took a lesson about her dog, here, and will do the best she can - but I don't think she needs to beat herself up for not knowing previously what Orbit hadn't shown her.

I've paid twice to have other people's dogs go through antibiotics because my reactive dog snapped at them and drew blood. Both times, I had let my dog off leash because he seemed like he was being friendly to this particular dog... and so I figured it was my responsibility. And I learned my lesson: Buddy just doesn't get off-leash unless we have a long-established pattern of friendship with the other dog. He's too reactive, and gets nervous at sudden moves, and snaps to drive the other dog away. Even if it only happens once every 20 meets, I don't want it to happen, period. However, one winter I got "mugged" by two big, off-leash dogs when Buddy was on-leash. I actually fell down on the ice into the dog-fight that erupted when one dog lunged at us. I got up OK and the stupid people got their dog... and I went to leave. I saw the stupid person hauling her dog back to her car, quickly - and figured she must have found blood on him somewhere. I figured, in that case, she deserved what she got, and hoped she learned her lesson. I figure that if I should have seen it coming and should have known better, it's my responsibility. But if my dog is on-leash and I give fair warning (or I get mugged by uncontrolled dogs), it's the other person's responsibility. (Lucky for me, Buddy is incredibly predictable in his reactivity, and I can completely avoid the stimulus that causes it, if I just pay attention.) There's also the delicate balance of "will you see this person again?" The local dog owners in my neighborhood know each other well... and if I were perceived as an irresponsible dog-owner, I'd get a reputation. To me, it's worth the $75 to be seen as someone who does the right thing. I know how awful it feels, but I think an ear-gash is an incredibly common thing. I got home from a walk with Buddy once only to find his ear pierced through by another dog in a tussle. It was scabbed over by then, and I didn't take him to the vet, and he was fine. (Thanks, forum members, for reassuring me that night. Saved me the cost of the antibiotics and all.) So... what did YOU do? I'm curious. Mary