mbc1963

You gave me flashbacks to my earlier days with Buddy, when oh-so-oblivous strangers would lecture me every which way about how I needed to treat my fearful/reactive dog. I never told people Buddy bites (though he very well may have bitten, had I let him get overwhelmed enough). I did find a handy line, though. I said, "He's autistic." For whatever reason, the behavior Buddy exhibitied (fear of eye contact, sudden approaches, fear of changes in pattern) were closely enough matched to those of my students who are on the spectrum - and using THAT language seemed to click with people. It seemed to give them an understanding of Buddy's behavior that let them off the hook for his weirdness, much in the same way "he was abused" does. It also sort of gave them a hint about how they might better calm him . ::Shrug:: FWIW, I've found that carrying kibble in my pocket works great for obnoxious kids. They come up expecting to pat him, but I say, "Would you like to give him a cookie?" For whatever reason, this seems to delight them much more than simply patting Buddy, and also seems to derail their desire to pat him. Once they give him a cookie, they seem satisfied with their doggie interaction. And, meanwhile, Buddy has got it reinforced that small children are treat dispensers, rather than something to be feared. My favorite memory of a clueless stranger: Buddy and I drive to the park. Woman with Doberman parks right next to us and deboards her dog, while Buddy barks and growls from behind my car windows. (Big territorial thing with the car.) She goes off to walk, and I head the other way. Upon approaching her on the loop, Buddy gets worked up again, so I leave the path and go to the middle of the field, and put Buddy in a "down." He trusts me, does his down, and lies absolutely calmly. Upon which, the Doberman owner LETS HER DOG OFF LEASH TO COME CHARGE US. GRRRR! I said, "Can you grab your dog? This dog is not friendly!" (The growls are, apparently, not enough clue?) The clueless owner calls, "My dog is!" She as actually insulted that I wanted her to control her 100-lb dog as he charged at me and mine. Oy. Mary

Good for Juno! There's something about speed of approach that triggers reactivity, too. Working with good dog-walkers to have them gradually approach while Juno desensitizes might be worthwhile. If I keep the other dog at a distance, and Buddy really likes him, he'll eventually pull toward the other dog, which is the sign he's ready to meet. Mary

Buddy only gets a bath if he gets sprayed by a skunk, rolls in something particularly foul (I just wash his chest/neck usually), or shortly after I've applied the tick meds. That oily residue DRIVES HIM CRAZY, and he itches like mad for a week. So, after 2 or 3 days, I use oatmeal shampoo to give him a break. Regardless of how many months it's been since I've bathed him, Buddy always draws compliments on his coat and tail, and when people pat him, they always comment on how soft he is. (Seriously - it's like rabbit fur.) And he smells like sunshine and fresh air! Mary

I have seen two dogs like that in my life. So beautiful! One lives down the street from me, and the other is a gorgeous rough-coat (thick lassie-coat, but great BC face) who lives near where I walk the dog. The kid who walks the second one had no clue what breed - I had to tell him to Google "border collie." Imagine just picking a random pup, and getting one of these beauties? (I guess I'm partial to the gold!) Mary

And OMG... Look at Kinley. I am in love! http://glenhighlandfarm.com/ghfdogs.htm Mary

Oh, I second this! I was out with my neighbor the other night, and Buddy was lying on the grass. A bunch of kids went by on skate boards, and I stepped between Buddy and the road (in case one of the kids got the brilliant idea to skate up to the dog, which would have triggered reactivity). Buddy let out a lazy growl and I said, "Oh, stop it," and he did. My neighbor remarked on how much calmer he was than he used to be - and I noted that this particular growl was just a sort of 'kids going buzzing by so I guess I should do something' growl, rather than a reactive growl. Seven years into this thing, I definitely can see a huge difference between normal dog stuff (ooh! exciting new things!) and authentic fear/reactivity. For the first, I just scold (or, in really obnoxious incidents, fear-of-God). For the second, moving away and giving space from the fearful thing, then gradual slow reintroduction if necessary, is the only thing that will work. Using the fear-of-God thing on Buddy when he's genuinely fearful and reactive is useless and works against everything I've achieved. Learning to distinguish is very important. Mary

http://www.findtoto.com/ This has always seemed like a good system to know about, to me. Good luck! He'll be home by day's end, I bet. Mary

Good question, and timely! Yesterday, I walked my dog as usual (got home around 7 a.m.) and then went to visit my friend in the mountains. Since I knew I was going to be gone about 14 hours, I had my sister come over and feed Buddy and then let him out. (He generally won't go for a walk even with people he loves if I'm not home. Go figure.) Well, my poor sister called to report that Buddy refused to go out when she tried to let him. About 5 p.m. After being home for 10 hours. He lay under the table in his "safe place." When I got home at 9:00, I let him out, and he peed a long time. Some days, if it's been a long time since he's gone out, I'll try to force Buddy outside, but he Will Not Go unless he decides it's important to him. (Good smells outside, or tracks of an animal who's passed by.) He generally saves his peeing for marking trees when we go for a walk, when he can "go" as many as 50 times in a single walk. So, it varies greatly by dog. Can't make him go if he doesn't have to go. Mary

Poor baby - my boy reacts the same way to my own stress. (Seriously, if a workman is expected and I'm sitting on the couch waiting, Buddy KNOWS something is up, and will get all reactive-like and bark at the slightest sound. Oy.) Good luck with all the changes in your life, and with keeping Secret low-key! Mary

I didn't buy insurance because I did what others have done - figured that putting the money into savings was going to give me a well to draw from if I should need it. All my previous dogs have died of cancer, and I won't put a dog through the horrific treatment for that - so I guess I'm seeing that as the most likely outcome. Should the need for major surgery come up, I have money squirreled away. Even so, if I had a less stable income (not rich by any means, but I am stable), I don't think that would preclude me from owning a dog. MANY dogs are euthanized every day in the US. I'd say that a happy life of seven years as the pet of a homeless man on the streets is a pretty good alternative to euthanization. It wasn't long ago at all that medical care was largely palliative (comfort), and human beings just lived as long as they lived before a disease or horrible accident took their lives. No one told mothers to stop having children because they didn't have hospitals and surgery and antibiotics. If the pet is able to live in relative comfort for a natural length of pet life, even without extreme medical measures taken at the end of life, I'd say it's a happy pet. In fact, I'd say that the appropriateness of pet-owning has more to do with caring and activity than with what is provided financially. Mary

I've never had an unfixed female. But, in the 70s (a different time), my family had an intact male. He broke through the glass of the small basement window of the house across the street, went through the shards, and fell down into the basement to get at the female in heat over there. I wouldn't want to get between that dedication! Mary

My dog is scared of thunder, too, and I worry it will progress as he gets older. I do know that he is much less scared - or at least is comforted - if I cuddle him to the point of squeezing him. He'll actually back between my legs when I sit on the couch, and let me wrap my calves completely around him and squeeze. So, the thundershirt idea actually makes a lot of sense to me. Good luck! Mary

So sorry to hear that. It's tough to lose an old beloved friend. My thoughts are with you. Mary

My guy's not a drinker, either. I swear he's part camel. In fact, if I notice him drinking a lot, I know he's sick. Anyway, I supplement. I put water in his kibble with a little chicken to make it taste good. He sometimes will drink the milk from the bottom of my cereal. In very hot weather, I throw his treats into the lake to force him to take in some water while he's eating the treats. (Floating treats, mind you.) I guess if he were dying of thirst, he'd drink more. Mary

I'm not an expert at this topic, but I am an expert at introducing my reactive, none-too-friendly dog to new dogs, so that he can happily walk with them and we have no major brawls. For my dog, at least, the key is very gradual and slow introductions, building up to full-on meetings only after familiarity has been established. Buddy's thing is "stay out of my face." Literally - a butt-sniff is fine, but a face-to-face encounter with an unfamiliar or overly excited dog always leads to snarkiness. Smart dogs will learn this in one of the early meetings: say, through a fence, where Buddy can snarl and cause no real trouble. Slower dogs? Well, there's usually a defining interaction, where the dog gets all up in Buddy's grill, and Buddy flips the dog onto its back and snarls at it - no biting, no harm. I wish there were a way to avoid that interaction, but I do think it's the dog's way of "working it out" on their own. My dog is who he is, due to his baggage or his wiring, and there's not a lot I can do to explain that to the new dog. Dog language, however, seems to be crystal clear. And all the traditional stuff: meet on neutral ground first, walk side-to-side next to the dog rather than having them go face-to-face, keep high value toys out of the way during the early times. Good luck. Mary

This is the story of: "How I Ended Up With a Dog Sleeping in My Bed Although I Swore I Would Never Be That Woman Who Sleeps With a Dog in Her Bed." The first year I had Buddy, he showed panic at fireworks, complete with loud and nonstop barking out of a general sense of.. terror? Vigilance? Worry that I needed to be told a about the loud noises? The second year, I learned that if I just sat and had a hand on him, I could reduce his panic to manageable levels. He would still be very vigilant, but would not bark. And, because I needed to get some sleep at some point, I forced Buddy (whose bed boundaries were stronger and more clearly delineated than my own) to come up on the bed, where I could touch him an doze off. So, yeah, fireworks (May 1 to August 30, around here, randomly and unattached to celebrations of national identity), and also heavy thunderstorms (March through October), Buddy was allowed up on the bed. As long as my hand is on him, he's not barking. And eventually, he just started coming up as a matter of course. That's not really coping or training better skills at managing fear. It does seem that his reactiveness has decreased a bit this year, though - but that could be a general, snails-pace lessening of his overall reactivity. (At this point, he seems to react to his triggers sometimes more out of a sense of obligation and saving face than out of any real fearfulness, which is a huge change from how he acted early on.) Mary

I feed my dog twice a day. Not sure why - I guess we always fed our dogs twice a day when I was a kid. After I first got Buddy, he would vomit foamy bile during our afternoon walks (empty stomach), so I started feeding him before we went out. So, it's once early in the a.m. (about 5) and once again when I get home from work, between 3 and 5. Mary

Just an FYI: My friend's pup got Lyme and it progressed so fast it looked like a sudden, acute illness: extreme diarrhea and near paralysis due to pain over a mere 36 hours. If this is Lyme, the improvement you see could be the amoxicillin doing its work. But I think the treatment for Lyme is much longer than typical for other illnesses. If this is Lyme, she'll need much more time. Good luck! Mary

I have never seen a dog stand on two same-side legs before! Amazing! Mary

I'm in Mass, and Buddy gets itchy legs and feet this time of year. I suspect it's because he loves to eat the soft shoots of new witch grass that come up along all the paths we walk. When he stops eating the grass, he stops itching his legs. So... it could be airborne, or could be some new thing he eats or rolls in! Mary

Sounds like your dog is reacting in the house, not elsewhere. My dog is MUCH more fearful and protective inside his own territory than he is out in the world. Strangers can sit calmly, but if they move to a new room or even return to the room after going to the bathroom, it's as if they have never been in the house before. So, it's possible your daughter didn't even do anything scary - just that she's an infrequent visitor to the home turf. For my reactive dog, slow movements, no sudden actions, lots of tiny pieces of chicken... they all seem to help smooth the path for visitors. Once he's familiar, he's fine - but familiarity doesn't happen for him in one or two visits. Mary

Second here on the "feed twice a day to avoid bile vomit from the empty stomach." My dog seems fine as long as he gets two small meals a day - and we haven't had a problem with the bile since I started it seven years ago. Mary

My dog had a rough start for two years (street dog as far as I can figure out), and integrating him into this world was hard. Fear, reactivity. It took a very long time for him to just relax about the existence of strange people and dogs. Seven years in, he looks fairly normal, and is pretty dependable to act calm in most situations, though he can still react if someone moves too quickly or closes him in. I'm not sure Buddy had ever seen a baby when I got him - he used to bark at them. But walking in local parks, he came to understand that strollers contained locked-in mini-humans who very frequently dropped food. So, he learned to like babies and toddlers in that context. And now, he's actually really tolerant of little ones - far more reliable with them than with other humans. Normal-sized person gets in his face, he backs away; toddler gets in his face, he gives kisses. So... I'd say it depends on the dog, how he's raised, and also on some strange fluke of temperament. Mary

I brought chicken to a pond once and tried to entice Buddy into the water at a shore with a very, very gradual slope. Nope. Carried him out and tried to set him down into water so he would be forced to swim, and he stood up and clung to me as if I were trying to drown him. Claws digging into my belly and all. It's a hopeless cause. The best I can do is to get him to wade into shallow water to cool himself off a bit on a hot summer day. But even then, to get him to go in over his ankles, I have to throw treats in the water. So, yes - definitely a dog-by-dog choice! Mary

One winter, my guy ran into a stick, stabbing himself in the chest. Didn't bleed externally, and I couldn't see it - we finished the walk and played ball, and I actually went to a movie. Came home and went to pat him and my fingers slid into the hole in his chest. Needed surgery to stitch him back together. Conversely, one evening Buddy cracked a dewclaw toenail, and you would have thought he was DYING. He cried and limped around, and pressed himself against me like death was at the door and my presence was his only comfort in the face of the shadow-world. Five minutes at the vet and he was boundy-happy again. So, they can be stoic, and they can be pathetically melodramatic! Mary