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Thank you

Tumors are growing and spreading like lightening now. Can tell the difference from checking in morning and then evening. LOTS of facial rubbing and now sneezing. We have a big graduation party tomorrow. Hope we can get thru that ok. Have her back on tramadol just in case it is pain and not just discomfort. I have made contact with Lap of Love to schedule something for early next week.

That is a great idea Laura!

I was debating with myself this morning if the extra touch is something she is allowing for my benefit as some awesome last memories or if she herself is needing it or it is some higher power giving it for both of us....... deep thoughts Whatever is going on I do think she is telling me it is soon. (And still hoping for that very very very slim chance that she will just peacefully go to sleep and not wake up when it is time)

An update for anyone wondering. Tyra did have another infection in the surgery site after the second surgery. This time I knew what I was seeing. I used hot compresses and drained it. Luckily there was still a small hole in the cheek from the second surgery that they had left for drainage. They wanted to put her on Clavamox but I could not get to their office as it is out of town. They called some local vets for me but they were all out due to a shortage apparently. So we ended up getting Augmentin the human version from Costco. Holy cow!! EXPENSIVE. Sadly she had a horrible reaction to it. After three days on it she was staggering around like a zombie. I actually was not sure if it was the meds or if she had a stroke or something else going on. I decided to stop the antibiotics to see if she got better. She did! It took about three days for her to go back to normal. We had another wonderful three weeks. The only ailment seemed to be her arthritis bothering her since she decided she no longer will tolerate coconut oil in her food. And now the tumor is growing back on her cheek. I can't tell how much if any pain she has. But there is lots of head shaking so it is at least uncomfortable. Other than that she seemed pretty good. Up until last night. When it was time to go out to pee before going to bed she didn't want to get up. She let me sit down next to her and pet her for about 20 minutes. This is not normal for her. She is not a dog that likes a lot of touch. But she seemed to cherish it last nigh, not wanting me to stop. Finally she did get up and go out. Another odd behavior this morning. She has always been terrified of the hair dryer. When I would get up in the morning she would go down stairs and wait for me to be done. Even when she went deaf she still followed the same pattern. Then when she started having problems on the stairs I would carry her down and then go back up to get ready. Well today I did that. But when I was drying my hair this morning who shows up IN THE BATHROOM? She does! With this look I can't explain. But not fear. And then again before I left for work she cherished some more petting. I'm savoring every moment trying very very hard to make sure I'm not being selfish keeping her through the bad moments. But so far she keeps coming through them. The trick is to make the decision before there is no return from the next bad one.

This is exactly my biggest worry! At this stage they can decline so rapidly.

Thank you for the update. I'm following closely and I think of you two often. I don't want to hijack your thread but I myself am struggling with when is the right time to release my old gal. Her tumor is growing back on her cheek. It seems uncomfortable, lots of head shaking, but not sure how much pain she is in. But the rest of her seems pretty good for her age. We cannot do any more surgery. People keep saying, you'll know when. But sometimes it seems like time but a few hours later she is perky again. Its a draining roller coaster ride I never expected to be on this long.

I love to see Kelso with JOY in his eyes!!! Brings tears to MY eyes.

I almost feel like I am taking every step of this journey with you. My Tyra is the same age and we are going through much the same, maybe with a bit more dramatic ups and downs. Hugs to you! I do know I will be using an at home vet for the end because it must be so. But I also am very interested in how to deal with the end with Seamus. They are not close. They kind have always existed together each in their own orbit. But lately there have been some moments between them. I kind of selfishly just want to deal with it alone. But perhaps Seamus should get to be there right after it is over. As for making life better just being there every step with him makes his life better! My heart breaks for you.

So sorry for you. I wish you peace.

So you won't even give Hazel a chance? None of us honestly know the future. And I understand you cannot continue with her. But please give her a chance

I am sympathetic to your situation. And at first was on board with your decision to euthanize her. But now you are talking about FLYING a dog out for a TRIAL, getting xrays and health check. Making an assumption that because this dog is a Bernese cross it will live longer. All wild card factors for it to become your service dog. But yet you don't have any more money to invest in finding out what is really going on with Hazel. I realize she will never be your service dog but.... Now I'm feeling like Hazel isn't getting a fair shake. There is something more going on. And I'm feeling really sad now. She needs a SPECIALIST to evaluate her. Give her a fighting chance! Please find someone or an organization that can help!

I'm so sorry you are going through this. There is never any easy answer. You sound like you are really giving this a lot of thought and working hard to do right by her. I commend you.

Awesome, congrats!!

Whew, glad it turned out ok.

The biopsy came back as melanoma in the lymph node. Not surprising. BUT Tyra is clearly feeling good, back to her old pre-diagnosis/surgeries self. Still savoring every moment. Even more since she clearly feels better.

I found a consult with an oncologist very helpful even though we opted for no treatment.

Thanks! We had a great weekend. She's just acting like a regular old dog now. Savoring regular days!

She's doing better now. A long way from normal but she ate some more and she's clearly not as woozy. Poor thing has been through A LOT! I guess I should give her more credit.

How has his mouth recovered?

Another Yay! for abscesses !! Tyra had a very rough night. Lots of pacing. Lots of out to go messy potty. Some whining. She finally settled some time around 2:30 am. She crashed hard, didn't even move or wake up when I got up off the couch to go shower. She did eventually get up when I was in the kitchen. But I couldn't get her to eat more than two tablespoons. Out for more messy potty. Hopefully by the time I get home around 1:00 she will be feeling better. I took out some chicken to bake. If she doesn't want to eat that I will really start to worry. Fingers crossed it is just taking her a long time to recover from the anesthesia. It would suck to go through all this to get her fixed up just to have her kidneys or liver fail.

We are home from surgery. All good news so far. The original tumor site showed no recurrence to the naked eye. Of course there could be microscopic cells anywhere. It looks like the problem area was lower where he removed some accessory salivary gland last time to send with the tumor just to check to see if it had spread. That is where the pocket formed and trapped food. Everything is all cleaned out and stitched up. He removed the small hard lump under her jaw bone and sent it in for testing. He does not think it is the melanoma. But he figured since he already had her under to just get it out and check it. She is really gorked out and quite whiney and restless. This really needs to be the last time she goes under. Its just so hard on her at this age. BUT well worth it this time!! She can go back to normal food in two days, her new normal! Thank you all again for your concern, prayers, well wishes, commiseration, and just being there for us. It really does make a difference!

I am going tonight to get a bunch of different ground meats so she still gets goodies even after the next surgery. I'll just run them through the food processor with some oatmeal (and soaked kibble! shhh).

Been applying hot compresses all day. Its pretty much cleared out. The nasty smell is all gone. She's pretty miffed the pork chops have stopped! We'll see what it looks like in the morning

You aren't kidding about the food. She's turning her nose up at "dog" food now! Sheesh