Where's the Love?

[plvannest]

I'm not sure if Roxie (5 month old femal BC) is behaving normally or not. As background, I am new to the breed. Before this I had Rotties. My last Rottie was a "velcro dog"--shy, no confidence, timid. We worked through the problem well enough that she got her TDI and worked regularly as a therapy dog and enjoyed it.

 

Roxie is as far from a velcro dog as you can get. We are attending puppy classes and she loves everyone in the class. Any strangers she sees, she wants to mob them. (Yeah, we are working on that!) Problem is that with us, she displays very little if any affection. She will, of course, run to one of us if she hasn't seen us for an hour or so, but as for pets--she wants nothing to do with that. No cuddling. Nothing. She's thrilled if you'll throw her ball or if we do clicker training, but absolutely NO loving. She will follow me around in the house, but I have to all but hold her down to give her a rub. She seems to enjoy it while it's going on, but never wants more.

 

With strangers we joke that she likes everyone--even people she hasn't met--more than us. We have to all but haul her back to us.

 

Oh, and I nearly forgot. I got her as an 8 week old, and even at that young age, if you picked her up to hold her, she would lick your face one or two times then turn her head as far away from you as she could. Almost as though refusing to look at you. (And to clarify, she's never been abused or hit or kicked or anything....strongest punishment she's ever had is a sharp ACK when she does something wrong. Absolutely NOTHING physical!)

 

Is this lack of affection normal? As I said, I'm new to the breed so am a bit perplexed. In addition ot the puppy classes, I clicker train her for short (3-4 minute) sessions throughout the day. She eats up the training, but just doesn't want any loving going on. (Smart as a whip! Catches on to everything in a matter of seconds!)

 

In addition, are there any tips for how to get her attention while at the puppy classes? I have tried exercising her a lot before the class. Using the clicker. Standing in front of her and blocking her view. Making strange noises. Tapping her. Puffing a bit of air at her (not with a can of air, just blowing at her ear when she's in front of me and turned away). Nothing works. She has no time for me--she's just WAY too busy doing other things.

 

If it's of any import, her sire is from extremely strong herding lines. Does that make a difference?

 

(Just re-read this, and want to clarify that I don't want this to come over as a "my dog doesn't love me" whine. I'm just a bit at a loss. As I said, my previous problem was with a dog that had no confidence and was afraid of strangers....this is like the opposite, and I want to make sure I don't screw her up.)

[flyer]

My Colt was not what you would call an affectionate dog when he was a young pup. At 14 mos. he is the world's most loving young dog. Very affectionate and cuddly. I have no idea why. Now I don't think he is a strong herding dog, (I could be wrong) but my little Bea seems to be and she is very cuddly even at 4 mos. Go figure.

 

I think it'll come with time. My elderly neighbor across the street who has always had dogs assured me that Colt would turn into a loving dog as I had mentioned it to him and compared Colt to my last dog who was the sweetest dog on the planet. He said just wait., it'll happen cause that is how you folks are with your dogs. He was right.

 

I didn't force it. Just let him have his space and eventually he started snuggling more and more.

[Root Beer]

Speedy was like that as a puppy. I've never met a dog who disliked being petted more! He liked rushing up, wiggling, and giving kisses, but if you tried to sit and pet him, he'd squirm right away.

 

When he was about 2 years old, we took a training class where we were advised to massage our dogs every day. I started to take him into a room by himself, and I would sit and pet him for about 5 minutes a day. After several days of that, he started to come to us to be petted on his own. Not a whole lot, but a lot for him.

 

He is eight now, and he is a lot more snuggly than he used to be. In the morning he likes to be massaged for a little while. He still snuggles a lot less than my other dogs, but he enjoys being petted much more than he used to. He really likes having his head rubbed - between his eyes and the top of his head. He rarely comes up to you to be petted, but on the rare occasions that he does, that's what he likes.

[Mariji]

When you get a new puppy you should spend as much time as you can building a relationship, working or not there still needs to be a relationship. My lil Echo is 7 months and exactly the same, she adores other people and would quite happily follow someone out the door. Her affection consists of coming to look at me and make sure I'm still there then zoom off to some miscreant activity. I will give her that she is very affectionate towards people and is constantly licking to say hi but her problem is she won't stay still for a cuddly. HOW BORING!

 

My older dog is also the same, will sit at my feet wherever I go but when I pick her up for a cuddle, she'll give me a dirty look the whole time. It's weird because she can be so clingy but would rather sit next to me than be patted.

 

Anyway just work on your relationship, show her it is worth her while to play with you. This means lots of time together at home playing or training. As much as my Echo loves people I can direct her away from them with a single "Eka!" (her nickname) and she is ready to work with her full attention on me. Its just spending time with your puppy to build a relationship, but she may just not be a particularly cuddly dog. At least she follows you around and shows some interest in what you are doing, even if that means she's rather not be smothered every 10mins because she would be just oh so cute!

 

As for working with her in class, extra extra good treats or a game she loves and just work on it at home. Theres a billion distractions at a class, so just work on obedience and tricks at home to she learns it is definitly worth working with you. And when you go to class work on the outside of the class where she is less likely to get distracted and slowly gets closer to those distractions. It takes time and she's only a tiny baby. Good Luck! Puppies are so much fun!

[IPSY]

Sorry your having such a problem. Try not feeding her before your training class and use something really yummy like liverworst or small raw meatballs or whatever you find that Roxie cannot get enough of.

 

If you have a morning training class , I wouldnt feed her breakfast. I would also hand feed all her meals. This wont make her "love" you more , but it will make you the center of her universe. If you ever heard of "Tough Love" by Susan

Garrett , its worth a read. I dont necessarily abide by all of her ideas , but some do make alot of sense .

 

I hope your relationship with Roxies grows over time. I think she might be exposed to a little too much all at once , and since she is so young , its hard for her to focus on one thing for so long.

 

Just my two cents.

 

Good luck.

[Ooky]

When I got my BC puppy a year and a half ago, I was so excited to have a dog of my own to cuddle, hug, pet, and kiss. I've always been very affectionate towards pets. Well, Odin turned out to have his own personality. He is a go-go-go sort of chap and just like certain little kids I know, loves his mom but is not one for a lot of kissing and hugging.

 

I worked on building a relationship with him a LOT, so it wasn't that. I worked with him, trained him (lots of fun clicker and toy training too), walked him, took him to classes, and started bringing him to work with me at a very early age. But while anyone will tell you that knows us, I am his EVERYTHING, he would rather play with me or work with me than get any hugs or petting. I've noticed there are times that he's more cuddly, such as when he's sleepy, or when he jumps up on the bed to give me my good night kisses, but overall, he is just not all that into petting.

 

Strangely, he also runs up to people and gets petted for much longer periods than he seems to like with me. He even allows my husband to pet him more. But I know he is MY dog because he follows ME from room to room, wants to come to work with me and not stay home, and does what I say quickly, with gusto. He does not always listen to even my husband's commands the same way. Many times a day, I look up from working and he is across the room or in his office crate, staring at me gently and seemingly with love. But if I go over and try to pet him at this moment, he jumps up and brings me a toy If I command him to lay still for petting, he will, but it reminds me of when my mom used to kiss me in public and I hated it

 

By the way, he also does not like grooming in any shape or form, even towelling off after baths. He will tolerate it, but that is it. He's almost 2 years old now; it will be intersting to see if he gets more affectionate but if not, oh well! I still love him to pieces and we are a close-knit team.

[eclare]

When I got my BC puppy a year and a half ago, I was so excited to have a dog of my own to cuddle, hug, pet, and kiss. I've always been very affectionate towards pets. Well, Odin turned out to have his own personality. He is a go-go-go sort of chap and just like certain little kids I know, loves his mom but is not one for a lot of kissing and hugging.

 

I worked on building a relationship with him a LOT, so it wasn't that. I worked with him, trained him (lots of fun clicker and toy training too), walked him, took him to classes, and started bringing him to work with me at a very early age. But while anyone will tell you that knows us, I am his EVERYTHING, he would rather play with me or work with me than get any hugs or petting. I've noticed there are times that he's more cuddly, such as when he's sleepy, or when he jumps up on the bed to give me my good night kisses, but overall, he is just not all that into petting.

 

Strangely, he also runs up to people and gets petted for much longer periods than he seems to like with me. He even allows my husband to pet him more. But I know he is MY dog because he follows ME from room to room, wants to come to work with me and not stay home, and does what I say quickly, with gusto. He does not always listen to even my husband's commands the same way. Many times a day, I look up from working and he is across the room or in his office crate, staring at me gently and seemingly with love. But if I go over and try to pet him at this moment, he jumps up and brings me a toy If I command him to lay still for petting, he will, but it reminds me of when my mom used to kiss me in public and I hated it

 

By the way, he also does not like grooming in any shape or form, even towelling off after baths. He will tolerate it, but that is it. He's almost 2 years old now; it will be intersting to see if he gets more affectionate but if not, oh well! I still love him to pieces and we are a close-knit team.

 

Daisy is exactly the same way. She is absolutely devoted to me, and always wants to be in the same room as me, but really isn't that much into cuddling, except at bedtime and first thing in the morning. But the second she gets dropped off at day care, she lies down and demands belly rubs from the staff. She also seeks attention/affection from men, but as far as I know she has never actually listened to or worked for a man. I'm pretty sure it's because my father and boyfriend both spoil her whereas most of the women she encounters are strict about what constitutes proper doggie behavior.

[pammyd]

Some dogs, and some people are more cuddly than others

WHen I first got Ben he looked so sad and scared when I petted him, head down tail between legs

But he does like cuddles now

 

You can build value to cuddles if its something you want, have a kong filled with something yummy and hold that in one hand and let her lick it while you gently stroke her

gently do it for a short while every day, hopefully in a little while petting will seem to be somehting nice

[Anda]

Haha - Odin and Ouzo are so much alike, it's scary! Ouzo has never been an affectionate dog, not as a puppy and not now at 4 years. However, with certain strangers he can turn into a pussy cat. Like he did last Sunday at the BAER clinic here in Denver - while we were waiting our turn for the hearing test, he snuggled and gave gentle kisses to one of the ladies waiting in front of us. He kissed Laura too, when we first arrived, and gently wagged the tip of his tail in a happy submissive way And even "smiled" at the doctor who was administering the hearing test. Smile as in showing his teeth, in a loving, non-aggressive way. He only does that to some people - always dog people. Or when I ask him to "smile" ))

 

Ouzo gives quick kisses when asked, but then he'd rather go grab a toy and place it next to you and stare you into throwing it for him.

[herdcentral]

My Regan had no time for me at all as a youngster. Her main aim was to get as much loving from complete strangers. However over time, and training with her, she is now nearly 3, she is much more focussed on me and comes often for a cuddle. She still loves strangers but I feel more bonded these days and she keeps and eye on me even when she is saying hello to others.

 

My working bred ACD was totally a one woman dog, my dog, but she did not like being patted by me and would duck her head or lean away. She was all about work. Very occasionally she would suffer the occasional cuddle, but she wasnt in to it. She was still one of the most loyal dogs I ever owned, just not into cuddles. She was totally non aggressive to dogs and people, and would tolerate pats from kids, but she would extricate herself when she had the chance.

[Sue R]

They all have their own personalities. My Celt, who is totally devoted to me, is definitely not a cuddler. He also isn't outgoing to strangers but every now and then, he meets someone and is all over them - and I am green-eyed with envy. But I know that I am the center of his world, even if he will readily cuddle with Ed.

 

Megan cuddles with anyone, and has never met a stranger (just a close friend she doesn't yet know).

 

Dan is over the moon about meeting new people and is all over them - but doesn't show any real outward caring about us, unless it's to his advantage. But I can see that he is attached to us, loves his cuddles (they make him feel good), and will develop a better relationship as he grows and becomes a working partner.

 

Bute was totally devoted and often clingy, loving intense cuddles and lap time. Maybe he was trying to sqeeze a lifetime of love into a short life.

 

Like people, no two are alike.

[desertranger]

Amazing at how many responses there are to this topic. I've foujnd fee BCs to be lovey dovey dogs. Jin is a good example. He like to sit cuddled next to e sometimes. He cuddles up when were lying in bed his faced pressed net to mine but he's not a kissy, kissy, dog. I'm actually going to have to teach him to do that since that is part of his psych dog training. We we come home his greetingds are much more subbdues that Abby who barks, kisses and wants attention. Jin comes over give few licks and that's it. OTOH when DW comes home however he's all over her. Same thing when ut, he'll greet strangers as a long lost love or something. that's whaty makes him a great chick magnet. Still he loves me, I'm the center of his world. If I call he's there. If I need him (in his service dog capacity) he's there. and if he want';s something he's there.

 

Dont'worry abotu it. Just give him lots of love and remember just because dogs fodn't show affection doesn't mean there is none.

[HoosierMike]

I wondered the same thing when we got Dave. He came from

a shelter, via a foster home, for a short bit. When he first

arrived, he was more than happy to have anyone throw his ball

for him, but not too much into the affection part. He would tolerate

petting, absolutely no brushing, and no cuddling.

For the first two months or so, he would stay in the same room, but

as far away as he could. The next two months or so, he would lay

closer to us, even at our feet, but still no affection. Then eventually

he was invited onto the couch to sit, which he did, at the other end.

Now, after he's lived with us for almost 10 months, he is very content

to sit right next to us on the couch, but still only as long as he wants to.

He's come a long way. I, like others here, have never had a dog that

didn't automatically want to be part of the scene. It took a bit of getting

used to at first.

As far as affection goes, he's also picked up a behavior, on his own, but

I think it's funny, so I haven't tried to break him of it. When we're done

playing ball, I'll tell him "all done" , well somewhere along the line,

"all done", to him, started to mean to give a barrage of kisses as fast as he

can to get just one more throw...

Kisses were out of the question a few months ago, now they're free for anyone.

[Lenajo]

to add to DR's comment, all of mine are affectionate to the point of "lovey dovey" when not working. I think it's part upbringing, and part genetics.

[Lenajo]

Figure out why she prefers the affection of strangers and you'll have your answer. What is it that they do that you don't? Seriously...think on this.

 

Whether she likes affectionate handling or not, she will benefit from learning to tolerate it calmly. Ttouch, massage...these are things I do with puppies.

[herdcentral]

Figure out why she prefers the affection of strangers and you'll have your answer. What is it that they do that you don't? Seriously...think on this.

 

That is a hard one. When I think of my BC who initially preferred strangers. None of my other dogs were like that. First I thought it was because they were ACDS and maybe BCs were different. Then I added another BC and he has been full on affectionate towards me too in preference to strangers. Maybe it was because I got her at 16 weeks old, who knows, it just took us a much longer time to click than with my other dogs. She now loves a cuddle from me, but it was a long time coming for whatever reason, one that never affected my other dogs.

[Lana]

I have not had any that liked other people more than they like me, but i have had dogs that did not really bond completely to me until they started working. I supect your pup liked stangers because they don't have rules. I don't let my dogs get all silly with other people, i tell people do not pet them until they stop acting like a twit.

 

Lana

[Anda]

Reading some of the replies here - in my case (and probably Odin's) - there's no question that my dog is extremely bonded to me - he won't listen to others (not even my husband) if I am asking him to do something. He's always where I am. Watches me, brings me stuff. But I think he got used to "doing" stuff with me, more than "actively" relaxing with me. He's always ready to follow me and go places with me. To bring me toys, to pose, etc. Cuddling is fine for a few seconds, then he THINKS he needs to do something with me now that he got my full attention.

 

He can relax, of course, but not by being cuddled. He's often laying at my feet or on the sofa next to mine, but if I start petting him for longer than say 20 seconds or move next to him on the sofa, he gets off with a big sigh and throws himself on the carpet, still watching me

 

With those rare strangers that he really likes - he gives short cuddle sessions, then he's ready to go and do stuff with me But he's not the type to just go to anyone and ask to be petted. He never does it at the dog park or on our walks, for example, because he's too focused on our games to even notice there are people and dogs around him. People are often disapointed because they cannot get him to come for pets.

 

I can count on my fingers the strangers he bonded with - Jamie our friend, Morris the handyman from the old apt. complex (Ouzo really had a crush on him ), a lady that had an old ACD, and then surprisingly - the lady at the hearing test on Sunday

 

Hope this makes sense....

[bc4ever]

Sorry your having such a problem. Try not feeding her before your training class and use something really yummy like liverworst or small raw meatballs or whatever you find that Roxie cannot get enough of.

I was going to suggest that too. That was what we were told when we took Scooter to puppy school. But, he's never been treat motivated, so it didn't really work with him, no matter what kind of treat we took.

 

As far as the warm and fuzzy stuff, I think it's a puppy thing. They're waaay too busy exploring to stand still for much lovin'! It will come with age. Scooter, now five years old, is a real cuddle bug.

[AmandaMJL]

Ditto to the not feeding and taking a high value food to class.

 

My Drama has always LOVED people, and would run to any stranger and get/give cuddles right from when she was a pup. That said she wasn't always "cuddly" with me, would work great for me, just not quite as cuddly. Now however, she's almost 2, she's very cuddly and has sort of come into her self so to speak.

 

Now my boy, Moth, isn't much of a cuddler, however he's always by my feet laying. My BC/kelpie mix is the same, but the BC/aussie is a big cuddler too.

 

No two are alike that's for sure!

[kelpiegirl]

??! who's the bc/kelpie mix, and what's he/she like?

My BC/kelpie mix is the same, but the BC/aussie is a big cuddler too.

 

No two are alike that's for sure!

[AmandaMJL]

??! who's the bc/kelpie mix, and what's he/she like?

 

Jack. That's what I was *told* when I rescued him. When I took him to work on sheep earlier in the winter, the "breeder" who worked him did a BC/kelpie litter and said Jack looked like one of their offsprings. However Jack originated in Alberta, so who realllllllllllly knows LOL!

 

 

This is one of the funniest photos ever LOL. I told Jack to go lay on his bed, but instead he sat on top of the cat's house! LOL

[shysheperdess]

I have a female BC who sounds very much like little Roxie! She ADORES people and is always happy/friednly to meet ANYONE!!! However she is not really cuddly at all, won't snuggle and other than the initial pettin and rubbing which she likes, doesn't really want to be "in your space". SOMETIMES when watching TV on the couch she will curl up within a foot of you but that's about it!

 

I hate to be the glass half full person but she was like this as a pup and never really changed. I am not saying your won't, but there is a real possibility that although a friendly dog she just isn't a cuddler. I kept hoping our would but it never happened and since I was expecting her to change I was disapointed when she didn't, because my two other dogs are SUPER affectionate!! I love her just the same tho

 

As for getting her attention on you, try to make yourself the most interesting thing to her! Find out what she reeeaaallly likes and use that to your advantage!!! You need to have something of high value to her. Hopefully you want this to be yourself eventually, that's why I always teach my pups to not only have toy drive but play alot with JUST me If she likes food you can try something REALLY enticing!!! Chicken, cut up turkey hotdogs or string cheese are big ones and only bring that out when you want to work on her focusing on you a little bit. Work only in short durations and using your "high value" reward, say her name and give it when she looks up at you! Feed her as she is looking up at you for a brief second then let her break from that and go play or look at other things. Then call her name again and reward when she look s at you or play with her, etc.

 

Pups this age have a wide range of attention spans!!! It's not uncommon for them to get easily distracted!!!

 

I also play lots of fun recall games with my pups!!! Restrained recalls, throwing a food or toy inbetween your legs and always always rewarding for the pup giving me there attention and focus!!!

[Sue R]

I have not had any that liked other people more than they like me, but i have had dogs that did not really bond completely to me until they started working. I supect your pup liked stangers because they don't have rules. I don't let my dogs get all silly with other people, i tell people do not pet them until they stop acting like a twit.

 

Lana

Are you talking about my Danny-boy here? Sounds like you are.

[Lana]

Sue, well in a way..that line can be like that. I have trained 3 and they did not bond much until they starting working stock. Not a big deal to me i will take their ability on stock over cuddles as pup. My pups do all come inside for the first 6 months, and they are handled extensively by young children.

 

Mint and Nell are both 100% devoted to me now.

 

Lana