Aandi Posted March 28, 2015 Report Share Posted March 28, 2015 When I asked for advice about Brick I got a lot of feedback on mindset."So much of how our dogs experience us is through the attitude we don't even know they are sensing."-medic09This, along with not letting Brick out of my sight for potty training, has been my main focus. It's only been a few days, but I am already seeing a significant change in how Brick responds to me and the others in our home. He is much more relaxed and isn't "spazzing out" when my FIL comes home. The latter needs a little more work, but I can verbally draw his attention away from Brick "having to greet him" and direct him into a sit and lay. A few moments there and he's back to relaxing. This used to be a running around, whining/barking for several minutes, experience. I can see, now that my attention has been drawn to this aspect, that he was feeding off of my anxiety and stress regarding my FIL, in turn behaving poorly, which increased my anxiety and stress, and it just looped on that vicious circle. Brick really is depending on me to be the leader, emotionally..not just physically and with verbal commands. Honestly, I had been feeling guilty for not being "madly in love" with Brick. I've never felt as "bonded" to him as I did my previous dog. However, the fact that he is so in tune to me, makes me feel like there really is a connection. I like that Now, I just need to get in tune to him.Does anyone else have any experience with drastic changes when focusing on mindset/emotions/energy,etc? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
urge to herd Posted March 28, 2015 Report Share Posted March 28, 2015 Like a lot of border collies, Gibbs is pretty sensitive to my moods. When I get frustrated, he gets nervous. If I persist in demanding something of him that he's not sure how to do, he can shut down. It's a good reminder to look for 'operator error' constantly with him. And even when it's not directed at him, he gets it when I'm off my game. Last month I basically shut down myself, life has been very challenging for the last several months and I went into a sort of retreat. A lot of time with the tv, little to no contact with the outside world. Gibbs curled up in his corner and waited it out for me. He was ready to go when ever I was, but he didn't bother me once. As soon as I got back to normal, he was his old, "Are we going to the park now? Hmm..... How about NOW?" self, bouncy and goofy as ever. I haven't had this 'in-tune' a dog before, even though he is my 4th bc. So it's up to me to regulate myself a little better. And that in itself has benefits for me. It makes me smile to read your good news! Congratulations on your work and research paying off. Ruth and SuperGibbs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue R Posted March 28, 2015 Report Share Posted March 28, 2015 Great news! This is so important to realize and then to implement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aandi Posted March 28, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 28, 2015 Love that, Ruth! Like a lot of border collies, Gibbs is pretty sensitive to my moods. When I get frustrated, he gets nervous. If I persist in demanding something of him that he's not sure how to do, he can shut down. It's a good reminder to look for 'operator error' constantly with him. And even when it's not directed at him, he gets it when I'm off my game. Last month I basically shut down myself, life has been very challenging for the last several months and I went into a sort of retreat. A lot of time with the tv, little to no contact with the outside world. Gibbs curled up in his corner and waited it out for me. He was ready to go when ever I was, but he didn't bother me once. As soon as I got back to normal, he was his old, "Are we going to the park now? Hmm..... How about NOW?" self, bouncy and goofy as ever. I haven't had this 'in-tune' a dog before, even though he is my 4th bc. So it's up to me to regulate myself a little better. And that in itself has benefits for me. It makes me smile to read your good news! Congratulations on your work and research paying off. Ruth and SuperGibbs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D'Elle Posted March 28, 2015 Report Share Posted March 28, 2015 Excellent news. It is great that you are willing to try things and learn with the dog. Yes, I have seen massive changes due to a simple change in a person's attitude. When I first started fostering border collies, many years ago now, I really had not had the experience of taking in a dog who was not mine and who was not going to be mine but who would live with me for an indefinite period of time. It is different from getting your own dog, and I had a lot to learn. One of my first foster dogs was a dog who really had no interest in knowing me, or anyone else. I did not understand this and kept trying to get him to be different. All my best encouraging and urging and rewarding failed to get him interested in me. Finally a friend came along and suggested that this dog simply did not want to bother because he'd probably been disappointed so many times: he would learn to love someone only to be abandoned again. He suggested that I shift my perception of the dog and instead of trying to make him what I thought he should be, I should focus my energy on observing him and getting to know who he was, in that moment. Sounds simple, and incredibly obvious, but really until he said that I had not thought of it that way. I did just that, and almost immediately the dog's behavior changed and he started taking more interest in life around him. He just needed some space and to be accepted for who he was. In only a couple of weeks he turned into a goofy, happy-go-lucky dog who wanted to hang out with people. The change was remarkable. I never again had a pre-conceived notion about a foster dog. I never tried to make them fit any idea of mine, but always spent the first few days (or longer) observing every thing they did so as to get to know who they were the best that I could. It sure paid off. Dogs are more tuned in to people than probably any other animal on earth. Your attitude toward a dog makes a huge difference. I have seen this proven time and again with other people's dogs since I learned that lesson myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aandi Posted March 28, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 28, 2015 Thoroughly enjoyed hearing that experience, D'Elle. Thank you Excellent news. It is great that you are willing to try things and learn with the dog. Yes, I have seen massive changes due to a simple change in a person's attitude. When I first started fostering border collies, many years ago now, I really had not had the experience of taking in a dog who was not mine and who was not going to be mine but who would live with me for an indefinite period of time. It is different from getting your own dog, and I had a lot to learn. One of my first foster dogs was a dog who really had no interest in knowing me, or anyone else. I did not understand this and kept trying to get him to be different. All my best encouraging and urging and rewarding failed to get him interested in me. Finally a friend came along and suggested that this dog simply did not want to bother because he'd probably been disappointed so many times: he would learn to love someone only to be abandoned again. He suggested that I shift my perception of the dog and instead of trying to make him what I thought he should be, I should focus my energy on observing him and getting to know who he was, in that moment. Sounds simple, and incredibly obvious, but really until he said that I had not thought of it that way. I did just that, and almost immediately the dog's behavior changed and he started taking more interest in life around him. He just needed some space and to be accepted for who he was. In only a couple of weeks he turned into a goofy, happy-go-lucky dog who wanted to hang out with people. The change was remarkable. I never again had a pre-conceived notion about a foster dog. I never tried to make them fit any idea of mine, but always spent the first few days (or longer) observing every thing they did so as to get to know who they were the best that I could. It sure paid off. Dogs are more tuned in to people than probably any other animal on earth. Your attitude toward a dog makes a huge difference. I have seen this proven time and again with other people's dogs since I learned that lesson myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cass C Posted March 29, 2015 Report Share Posted March 29, 2015 I'm glad you are someone willing to take advice and do what it takes to make your dog the home they need! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
medic09 Posted March 29, 2015 Report Share Posted March 29, 2015 Good to hear of the improvement for you all! I think Brick is going to keep growing on you like ivy. Sounds like all the potential is there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rushdoggie Posted March 29, 2015 Report Share Posted March 29, 2015 It's great advice and I am glad its working so well for you. I still learn...I have had to do breathing exercises before herding lessons as when I get wound up my dog winds up even more than I do and its not helpful. Staying calm in my own mind helps so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aandi Posted April 2, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2015 He has definitely grown on me. Definitely feel like I was the one who had to do growing for it to work. Poor dog was just waiting for me to get things figured out Good to hear of the improvement for you all! I think Brick is going to keep growing on you like ivy. Sounds like all the potential is there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aandi Posted April 2, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2015 Thanks, Ruthie. I will keep breathing exercises in mind It's great advice and I am glad its working so well for you. I still learn...I have had to do breathing exercises before herding lessons as when I get wound up my dog winds up even more than I do and its not helpful. Staying calm in my own mind helps so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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