Scared of men

[bordercollie22]

I recently got a Border Collie pup. She's 13 months and very friendly but ONLY to women. She's petrified of men, if a male goes into her pen she will run into her doghouse and shake. We're assuming this is from a previous bad experience with males. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to gain her trust with men and help her get over her fear?

[CMP]

I had a dog once who was frightened of men. I started him out with young boys - recruited a few cousin kids to come and play with him. Then we tricked him by getting older and older boys until it was a man and he didn't seem to care.

 

Or you can find a dog whisperer, so to speak. Some male friend or professional who is patient and gentle, who has a soft voice and a calm demeanor - and you can just put them together and let them work it out (could take all day or two days).

 

Frankly, I think the only cure is patience and exposure. I could be wrong, of course - been known to happen.

[urge to herd]

Have a male friend ignore her entirely. Don't look at, talk to, certainly not approach. Talk with your friend briefly, even go on a walk, just a minute or two, with you between your dog and your friend. If your dog should look at your friend, say 'good girl' softly, or give her a little tongue click.

 

Do this several times, with a few different guy friends if you can. From there, slowly increase length of time and add in some other things, but only one new thing at a time.

Have your friend come into your home, still ignoring your dog. What's her name?

After a few visits, have your friend toss a treat or two your pup's way, still ignoring.

If your dog approaches your friend, still ignore.

Your dog may become so bold as to nudge your friend, let her do that. Your friend can scratch her under the chin just a bit, then stop.

 

Your girl may go a bit faster than what I've outlined, once she is given the choice to approach and retreat at her own pace. Take your cues from her, always end the fun before she is over the edge.

 

Make sure she can always retreat if she gets nervous. Yes, it takes time, but the odds of you getting a really steady dog increase if you do it this way rather than force her. She might still be a little shy when she meets new men, or a guy who is very loud or wearing a hat, but she will be better. And you can use the above steps to get her used to loud people or hat-wearing people just as well.

 

Good luck with her! Let us know how it goes.

 

Ruth and SuperGibbs

[rushdoggie]

 

Frankly, I think the only cure is patience and exposure.

This, and just make sure its low key exposure done at her comfort level.

[Pippin's person]

I recently got a Border Collie pup. She's 13 months and very friendly but ONLY to women. She's petrified of men, if a male goes into her pen she will run into her doghouse and shake. We're assuming this is from a previous bad experience with males. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to gain her trust with men and help her get over her fear?

Might not be from a bad experience as much as lack of exposure to men. That seems to be frequent enough with border collies, who can tend to be "neophobes" and worried about new things. Either way, the suggestions you've gotten should help her learn.

[simba]

I have noticed with my own dog she's more nervous of men, and wonder if it's a combination of size, voice, and the fact that culturally men tend to be a bit louder.

[Blamoms]

My dog Max is the same way with my husband but not my boys lol.

[chene]

I have had it explained to me that men typically approach dogs differently that women. Whereas women hunch their shoulders, speak softly, and generally instinctively look smaller and less threatening, men seem much bigger and don't adjust their body as much. Although I'm not certain if it's true, it's certainly true that many dogs with lack of exposure to men are afraid of them even without any bad experiences.

[RemsMom]

I have had it explained to me that men typically approach dogs differently that women. Whereas women hunch their shoulders, speak softly, and generally instinctively look smaller and less threatening, men seem much bigger and don't adjust their body as much. Although I'm not certain if it's true, it's certainly true that many dogs with lack of exposure to men are afraid of them even without any bad experiences.

This is really interesting to me. My GSD loves my husband, my son, and a few select other men but when we are out in public he is very cautious of men. We have had our GSD since he was a puppy. I have no problem letting a woman or a child pet him but I will usually tell men that he is not friendly because he acts differently around men. My husband says he has not experienced this with our dog so I began paying attention as to how men approach me when I am with my dog. Usually they will act very "macho" (I guess because my dog is 90lbs. and looks like a guard/police dog). On the few occasions my dog has been relaxed around a man approaching him it has been someone with a child or a small dog and they are much softer in their greeting.

[Two Labs & Mia]

Sis had a foster dog that had pups at her house, ended up keeping one of the pups. German Shepherd Mom, chow? Father. She was single at the time of the pup's birth, had a daughter with female friends and myself, (female), as pretty much the only visitors. She did not like men at all. Since we knew there hadn't been any mistreatment by one in her past, we had to figure it was lack of exposure to them. I took a super dog savvy friend over, (dogs love this guy), ...she even hated him at first. But in time she started to trust him, bring him toys to throw while he sat on the sofa. That sort of broke the ice for other male visitors, but really, in her entire 15 years, she always kept a wary eye on men, especially if they were in the house.