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Help! My puppy is scared of everything. :(


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I feel it is far more risky to not socialize a dog and to have big problems with various things come up later (men, children, other dogs walking across the street, cars, fire hydrants, storm drains) than to have a slight chance of contracting an illness. Considering you are being as safe as you can with your puppy and carrying him/her. Socialization is worth the minimal risk, IMO.

 

Vets will tell you to keep a puppy in until all vaccinations are complete. Puppies socialization window is between 8-12 weeks. There is also a fear period from about 8-9 weeks. As a reminder, there are several different types of socialization: Positive, Passive, and Negative.

 

Passive socialization is seeing a person walking down the street in a baseball cap and not getting scared or rewarded because of seeing them.

 

Negative would be being afraid of the person, the person doing something scary as such as getting in the puppy's face, or the person stepping on the dog's tail by accident.

 

Positive would be being praised/rewarded for seeing the person, or if you wanted to take it a step further, being fed a cookie by the person in the baseball cap and praised.

 

Just something to keep in mind, as for the most 'bulletproof' dog you want the dog to not just have a passive, but positive association while socializing.

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Just curious but since when does an owner have get permission from a vet to take a pup out? This pup should be out and about daily, in small doses already, imo.

I wasn't sure at what age puppies get their vaccinations (last time I had a puppy was 15 years ago), or what the recommendation is to safely balance socializing puppies versus protecting them from risks like parvo, so I didn't want to say to just take him out willy nilly. Since it seemed like the OP is not very experienced with puppies, either, I just thought that her vet would be a good resource for advice specific to her situation and puppy.

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Everyone keeps saying I can socialize him, but I still don't know how. Can someone give me some actual examples of what I should be doing? I have been limited to the backyard.

 

I have people telling me to expose him to the world very slowly, but then others saying I should take him places. Which is it?

 

 

LOL WELCOME TO THE BOARDS!!! That is the bad and good of a forum. Bad: too many opinions and choices....everyone has an opinion....which is the right one??? Can be confusing. Good: everyone has an opinion!! There are a lot of choices. But YOU get to choose which path you will start out on. You've been given an enormous amount of feedback. Go through each and break them down into columns on a piece of paper: keeping the dog and giving the dog back. Then underneath, pros and cons of each. Then under that, list the tips. Once you organize it, you will be able to develop a plan for socializing your puppy.

 

You remind me of a young mom who is perplexed about what to do with her children. In the end, it is your choice and you do the best you are able to do. Don't be afraid of making mistakes with this puppy. Everyone makes mistakes and you can always change ideas...if one doesn't seem to be working, then you try another.

 

You said you have an older dog, and that probably will be a help. You've already raised one dog, and your puppy will take many cues from that dog. I have always found that working with a "difficult" dog or puppy was more challenging and more REWARDING than an "easy" dog (if there is such a thing!!) You have already listed some positive accomplishments with this puppy. You may find that this is just a stage or just a reaction to a new environment. Relax and enjoy...and pictures...lots of pictures, please. :D

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As for safely socializing, I would socialize only with dogs I know at people's homes. I would not take a young pup to places where lots of dogs congregate (like dog parks and pet stores), because those are the sorts of places where you'd be most likely to encounter diseases that the adult dogs are unaffected by but that could have very bad consequences for a pup that's not fully vaccinated. So use common sense and socialize safely: known dogs, locations not likely to harbor nasty diseases that you don't want the pup exposed to.

 

J.

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Everyone keeps saying I can socialize him, but I still don't know how. Can someone give me some actual examples of what I should be doing? I have been limited to the backyard.

 

I have people telling me to expose him to the world very slowly, but then others saying I should take him places. Which is it?

But you have been given helpful examples and at least one link to a wealth of information for a person in your situation. Re read posts 38, 48 & 51, and follow up on them.

 

As for whether to take him out before, during or after he finishes his puppy shots, that's your decision to make. You've got to balance the risks of missing out on early socialization opportunities against the danger of picking up a disease. I have always chosen to go out early with pups, but you have to pick your spots. Dog parks are out for a number of reasons besides germs - over stimulation, clueless owners and pushy/aggressive dogs.

 

But there are lots of places to go that minimize your risks. Go to shopping areas when they are least busy. Then there is the option that someone else suggested of not putting the pup on the ground while he's small enough to make that feasible. Check the link to Patricia McConnell's webpage in post #38.

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When I brought my 10 week old puppy home, she was scared of everything. Dogs, cats, kennels, doorways, anything that looked strange, acted strange, or smelled strange. But she was just going through an extreme fear period that was fueled by being born in a rural area. Now she's bold as brass. She beats up my other dogs like she owns them and will investigate EVERYTHING. She's going through another small fear period now, but nothing like before, and I know when she gets out of it, she'll go back to being as brave as the goddess I named her for, Athena. It took time, patience, and love to get her through her fear period. Puppies go though all sorts of weird periods (she's also "testing" me right now). Don't give up on a 10 week old baby.

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Have faith... and patience... Finnegan was afraid of EVERYTHING when we brought him home at 9 weeks. Good grief. He was our 4th BC and I'd never had one who was afraid of any new thing he was introduced to.

 

He's turning 3 in September and he grew out of his fear. The one thing I can say is try and keep everything as positive as possible and go slowly. We made a HUGE mistake of introducing him to the 'small dogs' dog park thinking it would be a good way to socialize him since he was so small at 12 weeks old. The small dogs thought they could jump all over him and of course, it freaked him out. Even though he has lots of good dog-dog interactions now, he still gets freaked out if another dog tries to wrestle him... but that could also just be him not tolerating rude behavior... I don't know.

 

Now, he is active in Flyball and Agility and has done a little tiny bit of herding but seemed less scared of the sheep than my other non-scaredy-pants dogs....

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I have to agree with the others regarding the behaviors of this puppy in the OP's last post. They sound pretty normal to me as well, particularly given the breed (though I'm a newcomer to the breed so take that for what it's worth). Until I got Hannah, I never realized that my neighbor's shiny new backyard barbeque could pose an imminent threat. Good thing I got the warning barks.

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It seems to me that you are way over-thinking this. You are worried about everything this puppy does to the extent of fussing. If someone acted that way around me, they'd make me nervous too. This is a tiny, little baby. Give him a break.

 

As far as giving the pup back, that is a good suggestion considering the number of tmes you've expressed misgivings about him. You can't have it both ways. You're either concerned that he's not the pup for you, or you're confident you can overcome, and sure you want to. That's not up to us. No black and white answers with dogs that I've ever known.

 

From reading your posts, it could be that you are unsure around your pup, and it's causing him to doubt himself. Timid dogs (or dogs exhibiting timid behaviour) prefer a clear leader. Your pup's confidence will come from you.

 

As far as not picking him up, all I can tell you is I pick mine up all the time. But, I give them a pat on the head, then go about my business confidently. I don't worry that they're worried, and if they are, I'm confident they'll get over it.

 

No guarantees this dog won't be a worrier all his life. If he is, he is and I wouldn't worry about it.

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I posted this in the other thread, but I thought they might be useful for the OP.

 

These videos were posted on a dog list and they have some good info in them. Micheal Ellis has a good socialization video on YouTube as well.

 

 

Michael Ellis videos: "Fear Period in Young Dogs."

Many of what he talks about apply to adult dogs, too.

 

 

video 1

 

video 2

 

video 3

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From this description, I'd be less likely to describe him as scared, and more likely to describe him as "adjusting to his new environment.". His whole world has been uprooted and he's in a strange environment; it will take time for him to adjust. (How long has he been with you - I got the impression it's only been about a week.)

 

How long does it normally take for a puppy to fully adjust? I've had him for 3 weeks, and he is not getting any better outside, even though I take him out every day. He just lays down and cries, or wants to hide somewhere.

I've carried him to the park a couple times. And I think I was wrong about him being excited to meet new people. He doesn't want to approach everyone.

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Is there a reason you don't want to return him? Hope that doesn't sound mean.

 

Also if you are set with keeping him have you tried talking with the vet or behaviorist or trainer? Someone who can actually see the behavior/problem and help the pup be the best it can be?

Also were either parent like this as pups? And how was it dealt with?

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There are several questions that seem to be "avoided" about this puppy. Still no name, just the puppy, sounds a bit detached. How old was the pup when taken home? Were the parents met? Did the new owner pick the pup or the breeder? Many of the "complaints" about the pup and behaviour seem to be typical young pup behaviour. Seems many excuses, no real answers. This pup sounds like it needs to be returned to the breeder so it can be placed with someone prepared to deal with a less than totally confident pup. And it sounds like the OP should consider getting an adult with established behaviour that suits her. jmho

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How long does it normally take for a puppy to fully adjust? I've had him for 3 weeks, and he is not getting any better outside, even though I take him out every day. He just lays down and cries, or wants to hide somewhere.

I've carried him to the park a couple times. And I think I was wrong about him being excited to meet new people. He doesn't want to approach everyone.

 

I don't think there are any hard and fast rules about how long it will take a puppy to adjust. It will certainly vary based upon exactly what issues the puppy has, the level of skill and experience of the handler, the techniques that are being used, as well as other factors in the environment. For example, it's possible that on your outings he is getting quickly pushed beyond his threshold, which is causing him to shut down and not allowing him to make progress. Or, sometimes it's hard to recognize small but incremental progress - either because we've forgotten what the behavior truly was like several weeks ago, or because we're impatient for faster results. Also, progress does not always come in a linear fashion; it is often one step forward and one or two steps back.

 

Without seeing what is happening in person, and without many more details (including, but not limited to, the questions raised by the last three posters), it's impossible to offer advice. To work successfully with a timid puppy, you have to be very in tune with and observant of his signals. I get the impression from your posts that you do not have experience doing this; it is possible to learn, but you must be motivated to do so and willing to work at it. I think the best bet for you at this point is to either work with a trainer in person (ideally one who is experienced with border collies and how to work with timid dogs using positive techniques), or to return the pup to the breeder.

 

ETA: FYI, I'm the same songsparrow who replied before! Long story short - I had signed up for the song.sparrow username before I remembered that I already had the songsparrow username here (I had been away from the boards for a while). I planned to just not use the 2nd username, but I was apparently logged into the wrong one today - oops! :P

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I don't think there are any hard and fast rules about how long it will take a puppy to adjust. It will certainly vary based upon exactly what issues the puppy has, the level of skill and experience of the handler, the techniques that are being used, as well as other factors in the environment. For example, it's possible that on your outings he is getting quickly pushed beyond his threshold, which is causing him to shut down and not allowing him to make progress. Or, sometimes it's hard to recognize small but incremental progress - either because we've forgotten what the behavior truly was like several weeks ago, or because we're impatient for faster results. Also, progress does not always come in a linear fashion; it is often one step forward and one or two steps back.

 

Without seeing what is happening in person, and without many more details (including, but not limited to, the questions raised by the last three posters), it's impossible to offer advice. To work successfully with a timid puppy, you have to be very in tune with and observant of his signals. I get the impression from your posts that you do not have experience doing this; it is possible to learn, but you must be motivated to do so and willing to work at it. I think the best bet for you at this point is to either work with a trainer in person (ideally one who is experienced with border collies and how to work with timid dogs using positive techniques), or to return the pup to the breeder.

 

+1000

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How long does it normally take for a puppy to fully adjust? I've had him for 3 weeks, and he is not getting any better outside, even though I take him out every day. He just lays down and cries, or wants to hide somewhere.

I've carried him to the park a couple times. And I think I was wrong about him being excited to meet new people. He doesn't want to approach everyone.

 

 

If you've had him for 3 weeks and he's 9 weeks old, how old was he when you got him? 6 or 7 weeks? If the breeder let him go that young, and he's already soft-natured, I don't think the breeder did him any favors. He could have learned lots just hanging with his mother and siblings a little longer. Those couple weeks of development can make a difference in a baby puppy.

 

But most of all ... honey, you haven't even called him by name, and your every post is steeped in discouragement and unhappiness. If you have had him 3 weeks and he's still crying and cringing and hiding from new things, and you're unable to make progress, I strongly recommend you return him to the breeder.

 

It's not being mean, nor is it giving up. It's realizing you have a poor fit and giving him a fair second chance. If you keep him for, say, 6 months, and then decide he doesn't still work out and he's still not a good fit for you, he'll be much harder for the breeder to place, than if you return him while he's still small.

 

Please. If your doubts are that strong, take him back. I think it would be the best thing for him. It's not fair to the puppy to keep him, if you can't be happy and joyful about his being there. Do it now, while he's still baby enough to find a new home, and still baby enough to make the transition easily. It would be a lot harder on him, if you decude to let him go when he's older and truly attached to you.

 

Do what's right for the puppy.

Best regards,

 

Gloria

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