Fostering/Rescue

[Tammy525]

Scout's foster mom has asked me if I would be willing to foster/adopt a sheltie mix. We are a committed one-dog family, but this dog is touching our hearts. It was found in a ditch, starved, dislocated hip, full of staples and buckshot. Nursed back to health by Scout's foster mom, it is a 26 lb, but needs to be about 35 lb moderately submissive female. Somewhat prissy, but adorable mannerisms (per Scout's very honest FM), crate trained and housebroken. This dog is getting along very well with her 5 other labs, if she becomes intimidated she stands very still in a submissive posture and may occasionally growl to get her point across. (At intimidating dogs only)

 

Scout is generally not crazy about other dogs, he growls at them, but he is very obedient and my gut is he would accept any dog I told him to.

 

We have 4 kids, 10, 10, 5, and 3. 3 cats as well as Scout. I love dogs and enjoy all my interactions with Scout, but he is a perfect dog.

 

Am I nuts to be thinking of this dog #2? I feel I owe this woman, she did a GREAT job with Scout and has been very supportive.

[Allie Oop]

I don't think you're nuts at all, Tammy. I think you are obviously a compassionate and caring person. I admire that you are considering doing a foster and admit that the idea appeals to me, too. You must be pretty busy with your family (both two and four-legged), but until you try it, you won't know if you and the family enjoy it.

 

I am trying to convince hubby to let me take in a foster in the near future and suspect that I might be able to talk him into it later this year.

 

I look forward to hearing more about your experiences.

 

Regards,

[fooshuman]

My mum (A.K.A Doggy daycare) Has 2 shelties, very loving dogs, comical to the point of insanity sometimes, and well cute as a button! The only thing i don't care for is they are very vocal! They sound off at the birds, squirrles, and anything else that should be herded! It is fun to watch Zag and them herd eachother. All at the sametime! Chaos should be so disorganized!!

[Sue R]

Live your life to avoid regrets

Will you regret it if you don't give it a try?

 

The nifty thing about fostering is that the dog will "move on" to another, permanent home. That is, unless you can't part with her and where's the problem in that?

 

Best wishes in making a decision that you all can live with!

[Shetlander]

Originally posted by Tammy525:

Am I nuts to be thinking of this dog #2? I feel I owe this woman, she did a GREAT job with Scout and has been very supportive.

I don't think you're nuts at all but then I adore shelties and have 3 dogs! The only thing I would caution you is to take the dog because you feel it will be right for you and your family. You may "owe" the FM, but you also owe your family, yourself and this dog the right match for the next 10 or so years.

 

This sheltie mix might be a good fit because she's the opposite sex of Scout and shelties are often gentle and polite (good at calming signals) with other dogs. They're really such sweet, soft dogs. They do tend to be barkaholics, but that can be modified with training. Most don't have the intensity of a BC, but they usually have very bright, alert, happy personalities. They make delightful companions.

 

It can be a challenge to introduce another dog to the "pack," but I wouldn't ever want to have just one dog. Then again, I don't have 4 kids

 

Let us know what you decide!

[Tammy525]

Sue R,

 

My bigger worry is the regret I would feel if things didn't work out. I can't say any of us really WANT another dog, all our dog needs are met with Scout. That being said, I can't imagine giving her up unless there were big problems. I am a little afraid to take the first step as there likely would be no turning back at that point.

 

I think the FM thought of us because she might be a good match for Scout. She knows Scout very well, had him from 6 weeks to 15 months.

[Tammy525]

Any other lovers of one-dog families?

 

Anybody else fostering?

[kelpiegirl]

Many moon 'go, I was a one dog household. Then came a litter that my sister bred, and I really wanted a puppy- or the idea? It was soooo hard for me to finally commit to going ahead (my poor sister), but I have never regretted that decision. I now have more than two

Julie

[Sue R]

My bigger worry is the regret I would feel if things didn't work out. I can't say any of us really WANT another dog, all our dog needs are met with Scout. That being said, I can't imagine giving her up unless there were big problems. I am a little afraid to take the first step as there likely would be no turning back at that point.

Well said. It's a tough one and a question that only you and your family (and Scout) can answer. As has been said, don't take her out of a sense of "duty" or "obligation". Take her if you think it will be the best thing to do for ALL concerned.

 

We had two dogs (one older at 10, and one younger at 7 months) when the opportunity came to adopt Megan (and I was the one who didn't want another dog). We've never regretted it. She is a wonderful part of our family, my husband's "bed" dog, Celt's best buddy, Mac's little flirty friend, and a terrific companion to us all. But, I realize that it mightn't have worked out so well, so I understand your concerns.

 

Best wishes!

[Shetlander]

Originally posted by Tammy525:

Any other lovers of one-dog families?

These might be the wrong boards to be asking that question!

[Tammy525]

Liz, that's why I'm asking the question here. I know most of you are multiple dog households, I guess I am looking for someone to convince me this is the way to go. Or the way to avoid.

 

We have only had two dogs once before. It did not go well. It compromised the relationship between us and our first dog, there were fights over food, and gates, etc. That being said, that dog #2 was nuts in the literal sense. He was agoraphobic and had to go on antipsychotics just to get him out the door. The side effect of that was aggression, going after our dog#1, my young son, my husband, and myself. Before the psychosis, the dog was a PITA dog anyway, he was always right on top of whatever you were trying to do, or squeezing between you and whatever you were trying to do (fold laundry, change a baby diaper, wash dishes, kiss you DH, etc.) And he was a nervous wreck most of the time. We could all understand why dog #1 didn't like him and she liked EVERYBODY! When things got too bad, no rescue would take him, no dog trainer or drugs could help, we had him put down. It was very sad and tragic. After that, dog #1 came back to us (I thought she was just old at the time, but she had actually been very unhappy the whole time we had dog #2). Anyway we enjoyed our blissful relationship with dog #1 again for 5 months and then she got very sick and DIED! So the two dog thing was an overall dreadful experience. I am guessing this is not most people's two-dog experience or there wouldn't be so many of you with so many dogs!

 

Your thoughts? Please don't tell me I am horrible for having him put down, I am still sad enough about it and its been 3 years.

[Pat W.]

One dog family...whats that???. Tammy I have been a foster home for rescue BC's for about 2 years now and several very nice dogs have passed through my hands. In fact I wouldn't mind keeping the one I currently have! That said before you go any further down the road of lost souls aka multi dog families do the following things. 1) talk to Scouts former FM and let her know that you want to take some time to consider it. 2) Talk to your family seriously about adding a second dog specially one that is going to need to adjust to your home, cats, and young children along with recovering from her mistreatment. 3). Condsider Scout, you say that he does not get along with other dogs unless you tell him to. Putting him a postiion where he is constantly under the stress of putting up with another dog in his territory and sharing HIS family might not be all that fair to him or the other dog. 4)Consider fostering with the option to adopt but get an agreement from the current FM that if it is too stressful for either dog that she is returned. You are not obligated by any strectch of the imagination to take this girl on. Taking on a dog because you feel obligated is one of the last reasons you should do so. Adding a second, third, or fourth dog to a family is a big step and should be something you really really want to do

 

Pat

[KrisK]

Hi Tammy,

 

My DH was not really keen on getting another dog after Jazz. He used to refer to the dogs as 'anchors without diapers' We are now a 4 dog family...and yes, it can be a bit much sometimes but we wouldn't have it any other way.

Zachary was the only 'planned' adoption. Cricket and Dusty just sort of ... came for a visit..and stayed

[nancy in AZ]

Tammy, I can certainly relate to your ambivalence. I felt the same way--why mess with a good situation? I had the same misgivings you have.

 

I was a one dog household for 6 years. I always sensed Minnie didn't really want another dog around, and that was fine with me. She had plenty of social interactivity when I took her to the barn where I used to board my horse.

 

I adopted Kit 4 years ago this May and I have never regretted it. What finally convinced me was when I went to the shelter, I had a friend along that promised if things didn't work out she would take Kit, so I knew I had an out and felt less trapped. There were a few squabbles initially but everything worked out fine. Kit is much more bonded to Minnie than the other way around. I doubt if Min would miss her much if she weren't there. Still every morning when I get out of bed, I say to Min, Go say hi to your sister Kit, and she runs over to Kit's crate, her little stump wagging. That always starts my day with a smile.

 

Bottom line, if it doesn't feel right to you, don't do it. You shouldn't add another dog to your already busy household purely out of a sense of obligation to this woman. However, if it is something that you and your family agree you would be willing to consider on its own merits,maybe you can try it on a trial basis, or with the understanding that it is purely a foster situation.

[karrie]

Humm. I've been a one dog family. I'm planning down the road to be again ( if I don't get suckered in by another set of puppy eyes). Libby is 10 yrs old ( life expectency of Lab and Golden is 10 - 12 yrs). So far she healthy so no concerns yet Thank Goodness. With good care and maintence and a little luck, she could be around for another 10 yrs or more.

But I digress. Around here I'm the caretaker, so it depends on if I'm wanting to or am willing to take on another responsiblity.

 

My thoughts on it are:

 

Do you have the family support? If not do you feel comfortable doing this solo?

 

If you have the support or are comfortable going solo, then go for it.

 

Sometimes 2 are better than 1.

[Kyrasmom]

I don't think you should add to your family simply because "you feel you owe anyone anything". That's not a good reason to take in a dog even if she is pulling at your heartstrings.

 

Think about what you really want and make your decision based on that. Having multiple dogs is not that difficult but only you know the needs of your family.

 

Having said that, fostering gives you an OUT if you want to try and there is absolutely nothing to feel badly about if it doesn't work. You would have to be very clear with the rescue org. and give them time to arrange for a backup if you decide to not foster/adopt.

 

The worst thing that you can do is keep a dog you don't want out of guilt/remorse. It has to be a good fit all the way around.

 

As for hearing from a single dog family..well, we've got 8 plus a pretty consistent flow of fosters so no help there. I do know that having two dogs (way back when) is not a big deal when they get along and enjoy each other.

[Willikers]

I just adopted my 4th dog and I can tell you that once you go multi, life is never the same. Exponentially increasing amounts of hair wafting around your house are the least of it. What I regret about how we acquired each new dog is that our foundation behaviors were not trained solidly enough, each dog was still learning when the next one came along,and this made it unlikely that we will ever have dogs that are as well behaved as they could have been, simply because, like a family with many kids, we prioritize our time. Even two dogs can whip each other up to a point of good behavior going out the window, things they could do when a singleton, like sitting nicely when someone comes to the door, become much harder for them to accomplish and you to enforce with each dog you add. Access management is an issue.

This caveat aside, 2 dogs is really still manageable and twice as much fun! And three, and four... but it takes a certain kind of person who is comfortable with a low (or high, depending on what is going on) level of chaos. Imagine having four dogs stuffed in the backseat of a honda civic at a stop light when a skateboarder cruises by... Mostly I just laugh, but sometimes I long for the days when we just had one, and all my attention was on him, and he was so well behaved and never looked to his packmates for ideas...

 

2 dogs are fun, but know that it WILL change your relationship with your primary dog.

[Lunar]

Well, I can speak up. I had a one-dog family for 9 or 10 years (I forget). Oreo was my blessing, my joy. When my brother brought in Tessa... I never imagined it would go as well as it did. And now with our two... they drive me crazy, and yes, two dogs IS more work than one (not double, I don't think though, because you're already doing a lot of it anyways). But despite that... we really can't imagine our live without our two dogs. BUT in both of those cases... only one of the dogs was mine. At my parents house Oreo was MY girl and Tessa was my brother's... we all loved both the dogs, my dad ADORES both of them, Tessa is hilarious and such a SWEETHEART, but Oreo was my baby and Tess would never change that. Here at this house Zeeke is very obviously my husband's dog, and Zoe is just as obviously mine. Did Zoe change my relationship with Zeeke? Absolutely... I no longer feel like I need to keep pushing him, struggling with him, to "make" him my dog. He gets much less of MY time - but he gets just as much of his daddy's time, that hasn't changed. And as much as my husband thinks that Zoe is cute and funny, Zeeke is HIS dog.

 

I can really see how your past experience would make it much harder for you now. I've had two excellent multi-dog experiences.... in both instances the new dog was accepted immediately by the other one. Our two now are super close, we really couldn't have asked for a better match. (One is dominant the other submissive; one male the other female, etc). I can say that when it does work out, it makes you feel really really good. Just watching them play together makes me so happy and so proud.

 

But you have to do what's right for your family. I'd suggest if you are considering taking her that you do a trial-basis first.... see how the dogs interact for a few days before making any decisions. (I know that's hard.)

 

Oh, and Zoe is definitely half sheltie.... I've never had one before. I definitely see the quirky, playful, happy-go-lucky side of her. She's not nearly as intense as a BC, she's actually very laid back and happy to do whatever it is I'm doing. And she's not a barker, I got lucky!!

[Sue R]

Your thoughts? Please don't tell me I am horrible for having him put down, I am still sad enough about it and its been 3 years.

You weren't horrible - you did your best to provide him a good home but he was not able to do his part in the family mix, and he wasn't suitable to be adopted out.

 

If fostering/adopting this dog is going to be too stressful, don't do it. If you can give it a try and return her if it doesn't work out, that's an option if it suits you all to try it.

 

If you (and your family) don't think this is the right thing to do in your hearts, then pass on it and concentrate your efforts on your family members and Scout without guilt. Their happiness is your first priority - helping another dog is secondary.

[juliepoudrier]

Tammy,

Try not to let your past experience color your opinion of multidog households too much. You were very unlucky that time. It is helpful that the current foster mom knows both dogs and so has a good idea of how it would work with the two of them together. If you've ever thought it might be nice to have a second dog around, this might be the best chance you have to get a second dog that *will* get along with Scout (because someone in the know has already matched them up).

 

That said, I think you need to go with what your heart/gut tells you. The sense I get from your posts is that your heart/gut is telling you no. If that's just fear because of past experience, then it couldn't hurt to consider a foster, which is temporary. But if you really honestly feel that you would be taking on too much, by all means don't do it.

 

Only you know for sure what your comfort level is WRT bringing in a foster or a more permanent family member (or none at all).

 

FWIW, I had just one dog for several years before adding the second. I had the two together for a year before having a third passed my way (and he is a problem dog, which is part of the reason I kept him). Then it just sort of snowballed from there. Not all of my dogs get along perfectly, but I manage to keep everyone happy, and I do have the time to give them all attention. It might be nice to go back to *just two* dogs (can't remember what that was like), but I suppose that's not in the cards....

 

J.

[Tammy525]

Thanks all, for your input. It sounds a lot like taking the plunge and getting dog #2 is a lot like having that second child,(or second set in my case) I have 4 of those!

 

Scout's FM would absolutely take the dog back at any time. She would take Scout back at any time (can't believe I even said that, can't imagine a circumstance where that could happen)

 

I have plenty of support, DH and kids do a LOT of dog work/attention. I have one child who is opposed, but he loves Scout so much he chose Scout for the object of his love in his assigned Valentine's letter. I think he has those feelings like I did before that next kid. Could I EVER love another like I love this one? If I do, does that lessen my love for #1? And of course, you love the next round of children as much as the first, the joy far outweighing the work.

 

Like hearing your multiple dog stories, although I am worried it is a slippery slope, once you get one more when you say you are a one-dog family, how do you keep away from 3? 4? 5?

 

I guess it is an ideal situation if we are at all looking for a #2 (which we weren't but now we're thinking of it)

[Tammy525]

We have decided not to take the sheltie mix. I feel sad about this, but our childcare workload is heavy right now and we just don't feel like we can handle anymore. This isn't a forever decision, although it likely is for this particular dog. I have asked her FM for a pic, maybe I could post it here and someone else might be interested? She sounds like a really nice dog.

[Willikers]

I didn't say anything before, but I did think it odd and a little presumptuous for the foster mom to ask you to adopt a dog. In my mind, the desire to adopt a new family member should arise in YOUR heart. If it didn't, then you probably aren't ready. So congratulations on your decision. When you are ready for a dog, you will go looking.

[Tammy525]

In Beth's defense (Scout's FM) she didn't ask us directly to adopt. She asked us to spread the word, and I replied with the question "would Scout like her?" So it was me who got the ball rolling, my heart reacted quickly before my head and the opinions of my other family members. Which was unfair of me to all involved. I need to work on my impulsive feelings which only show up online! (I have been in email contact with Beth only).

 

Thanks for all your help, my heart is still sad about it, but my head (and my tired legs) are relieved.

[Lunar]

Tammy, you probably made the best decision for you. I know for me getting a second dog was a huge desire on my part. I wanted a second more than anything.

 

As for going from 2 to 3 to 4.... I've always wanted 4 dogs. I don't know why, I just knew I wanted a housefull of dogs. Maybe I'll get there someday, I don't know - DH is NOT in agreement on it. Well now that we have two... I feel really happy with how it is now, quite content. Someday I might look at getting another, or maybe fostering, but I don't think the jump from 3 to 4 is any 'easier' than the jump from 1 to 2. In our case it's a lot harder, actually.