Best Friend Gone

[SamDog]

Hi,

 

I'm new here. I usually just lurk on message boards, but, I had to have my BC put down on Monday and I knew this was the place to look for solace. I would like to know how you have coped with the loss of your best friend. Thank you.

[Sue R]

My sympathies to you. What a heartbreak it is to lose a loved and loving companion.

 

When I lost my six-month old pup, Skye, I was devastated. His breeder told me that night that she wanted to give me a pup from a litter that was just a week old. I thought that I couldn't even think about such a thing but then I longed to have that little pup in my arms to help ease the pain of losing my beloved Skye.

 

My Celt will never take the place of Skye but occupies his own place in my heart and helps fill the void left when I lost Skye. Many people find that opening their heart and their home to another deserving pup/dog (especially a rescue) is the best way to cope with grief.

 

Just my opinion.

[Tiga's_mom]

I'm so sorry to hear. The only dog I've ever lost was the dog that I grew up with. My mother had to have her put down when I was away at university because she was not doing well. Not able to walk really, but she was about 13ish years old. It was weird to come home for a break and she wasn't there anymore. I coped by thinking about the wonderful life that we gave her. It was her time. I send you big hugs!!! Don't be afraid to cry a lot. That's how I cope with everything. I wish I had more words of wisdom for you, but all I can offer are my condolences.

[Dal & Mad's Mom]

I'm trying to think how I coped. We tried to celebrate Kirby and all the things he brought to our life. I still miss him and it took me 6 months to replace him with Dally. I'm glad I got another dog but, he will never take Kirby's place.

 

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[SamDog]

Thank you all for your sympathy. My mom wants to get me another BC whenever I'm ready. In some ways, I'd like to get one now to fill the void and give me something else to focus on. I'd like to get a rescue dog, but it would really need to be a puppy. I have a mutt that's not real open to sharing his home with older dogs.

[smileyzookie]

Im so sorry to hear that. I know it has to be very painful. Im sure Bustopher will be along with a great poem for you. I hope everyone is able to give you great coping ideas. But what better way to honor your lost BC than to rescue another? I admire that you are willing to get another one. Good luck no matter what your decision is.

[bc friend]

My sympathies on your loss. I unexpectedly lost a bc a couple of yrs ago. About a month later, I adopted a rescue bc mix. I knew I wanted another bc, but I didn't want one that was exactly like Meg so I got a mix instead of a pb. Regardless of whether you want a pb or a mix, I hope you will consider the rescue section of this board when you're ready for another dog -lately there have been a number of puppies wanting homes.

[Columbia MO]

Sorry to hear about your loss. The website www.petloss.com really helped me when I had to have my last dog euthanized at almost 16 years of age. They have a nice song on there: "Precious Little Friend," that is a bit sappy but was great to listen to over and over while crying. They also have a worldwide candle ceremony each week "online."

 

Columbia, MO

[emmetteabrakai]

sam

 

Oh I'm sorry, so very sorry. You have come to the ritht place to grieve. Do so with impunity, and you WILL live to love another dog. Not in the same way, but for their own sakes. I have multiple dogs, and the loss of one is not soothed by the others, I still had to grieve for the dog that was gone. I found someone who I could chat with about my feelings, the last time it was a student here at work. NOt somone I knew even but it helped to talk about it.

So time will pass, and soon the pain will be replaced with loving memories alone. Good luck and swift passage along the way.

Andrea D.

[iluvlucy]

go ahead and grieve. and one day you will remember with love the one you lost. when i lost fritzi it took me a while to be ready for another dog. fritzi will always be special to me,but now i have only loving memories of her. the grief is gone. and i will be giving a home to 2 more dogs and i will love them also.

 

i know what you mean when you say you mat not be ready for another dog yet,but time will heal the hurt. consider a rescue bc as they are always seemingly sooo grateful.

 

best wishes and prayers for a fast healing

[Tassie]

i echo what the others have said. It's a devastating thing to lose any dog, and especially to have to make that hard decision to give the dog his wings.

 

Was your dog's name Sam? My first pure bred Border Collie was called Sam - he was a lovely dog - the first dog I competed with in obedience and agility and tracking. He died fairly suddenly and unexpectedly - and that was horrible - but it was also horrible when I later had to put down my dear old KelpieXBorder Collie.

Now I have another 2 Border Collies - male and female, who are now 4 years old, and I love them dearly, but Sam and Jess are still very special to me.

 

One thing to think about is spending some extra time with your other dog. Dogs do grieve as well, and your dog will appreciate your extra attention.

 

Tell us about your Border Collie. How old was he, what did you guys like doing together? That sort of thing.

 

A nice thing to do when you feel like it, is put together a scrap book of photos and so on to remember your dog by.

 

As others have said, there will be other dogs in your life, and they will all have their individual personalities, and you will love them all for who and what they are - and there's no disloyalty in that.

[SamDog]

Tassie, yes, her name was Sam. She would have been 12 in Sept. Her thing was fetch. It didn't matter what it was, she'd bring it back. She would even bring scraps of paper for people to throw for her. But, mostly, she loved being with me. It didn't matter where we were, as long as she got to go. She did have some strong herding instincts, I just didn't know how to bring them out. Amazingly, she listened to me much better when she was allowed to "herd" the cows. Generally when I'd give her a command, she'd just have to do it by my side. Out in the fields, she'd drop where I told her to. It was pretty cool.

 

Poor Bacon, he hasn't realized that Sam isn't coming home yet. He's used to me taking her one morning and her not coming home for a day or two.

 

I will be sitting on the floor tonight with Bacon though.

 

Thank you all for your insight and sympathy. It means alot coming from other pet lovers that understand how I feel.

[Jack & Co.]

We had a 14-year old cocker who we lost to kidney disease; he was a beloved member of our family. Nothing can describe how I felt when I had to put my buddy in the car for his final trip to the vet. I was crying so hard that I couldn't even go in; my understanding vet came out to the car and got him. We grieved for him for 4 years. We thought we would never find another one like him.

 

We were wrong!

 

We got Jack, our BC mix, at the pound on Election Day. He was 2 months old and I had forgotten how much fun puppies could be. My husband's only stipulation was that we not get another Cocker Spaniel.

 

Do get a puppy when you feel ready. You're so busy that it will help you heal. There's nothing like puppy breath and puppy eyes!

[KrisK]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my Brandy at 16 1/2 years old. I was living alone at the time and it was the most horrible thing to come home to an empty house. Jazz, the puppy I got was born almost to the day that Brandy died. He's 7 now, He never replaced Brandy, but he filled the void left by her absence. I hope you find a wonderful, loving pup to help you.

And here's the poem I found says it all

 

The author is Ben Hur Lampman

 

We are thinking now of a setter, whose coat was flame in the sunshine and who, so far as we are aware, never entertained a mean or an unworthy thought. This setter is buried beneath a cherry tree, under four feet of garden loam, and at its proper season the cherry strews petals on the green lawn of his grave. Beneath a cherry tree or an apple or any flowering shrub of the garden is an excellent place to bury a good dog. Beneath such trees, such shrubs, he slept in the drowsy summer or gnawed at a flavorful bone or lifted head to challenge some strange intruder.

 

These are good places, in life or in death. Yet it is a small matter. For if the dog be well-remembered, if sometimes he leaps through your dreams actual as in life, eyes kindling, laughing, begging, it matters not at all where the dog sleeps. On a hill where the wind is unrebuked and the trees are roaring, or beside a stream he knew in puppy hood, or somewhere in the flatness of a pastureland, where most exhilarating cattle graze. It is all one to the dog and all one to you, and nothing is gained and nothing is lost .... if memory lives.

 

But there is one best place to bury a dog. If you bury him in this spot, he will come to you when you call -- come to you over the grim, dim frontiers of death, and down the well-remembered path, and to your side again. And though you call a dozen living dogs to heel they shall not growl at him, nor resent his coming, for he belongs there. People may scoff at you, who see no lightest blade of grass bent by his footfall, who hear no whimper, people who may never really have had a dog. Smile at them, for you shall know something that is hidden from them, and which is well worth the knowing.

 

The one best place to bury a good dog is in the heart of his master.

 

From the Portland Oregonian, Sept. 11, 1925. By Ben Hur Lampman

[SamDog]

Thanks Krisk. I read that poem yesterday. It's great. Columbia, MO sent me a link for pet loss. The poems on there have been a help, although they've made me cry, but that's ok.

[BustopherJones]

Pardon me for any errors. I cannot read about someone else losing a dog without crying, and the tears make it hard to see...

 

Go in peace, my valiant friend.

Suffer no more; sweet sleep has come.

Be welcomed by our friends;

They have blazed a path for you to follow.

Wait patiently, for I will join you again,

Your keen vision restored to lead our way,

Strength renewed, for we shall journey forever.

I learned from your courage

In the waning of your days.

You fought bravely through the pain,

A whimper never passed,

Always by my side as I was by yours.

Your battle is over, our grieving begins,

As I lay you to rest

In the yard were we played.

Your place in my soul

will always remain filled.

So rest now in peace, my gallant companion,

Knowing how much I loved you

And will miss you at my side.

 

Baby?s Dad eulogy for Zeke

[Allie Oop]

Sorry for your loss. We lost our 14 yr. old dog last August to Cancer. It's hard to imagine now, but your pain will ease in time. Best wishes.

[Jean, Josie's Mom]

We lost our Maisey a year ago this month. She was our first BC and she brought so much into our lives that I could never consider another breed. We did what others have suggested and got a rescue. And as others have also said Josie will never take Maisey's place but she certain helped to ease the pain of our broken hearts.

Josie is totally different than Maisey but because of that she was just what we needed in our lives.

Yes, you definitely came to the right place for comfort and understanding. Other BC owners can empathize with your feeling.

[Dog Lady]

So very sorry to hear of your loss, I am not looking forward to my GS who is 16yrs leaving us. I have a BC to be her 'friend' which has got her back running about again, also it will be easier for us humans to get on with life looking after the BC once the GS does rest forever.

Do you have lots of photos together to look over, or have someone make a memorable scrap book of the dog.

All the best to you.

[Mona Howard]

You're right, you will never replace your Sam.

But you will love your new dog just as much

with his/her different personality and little

quirks. So cry and grieve for your beloved

friend and get another friend and love again.

Mona

[PSmitty]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so hard, I know. Hopefully you'll soon open your heart to another, and it will bring you some comfort.

[Sue R]

I've read all these posts this morning (off from work for four days!) and I have to admit that although I only had Skye for four short months, I still cry to think of losing him. We all grieve in our own ways.

 

Some folks need to fill the void right away and others take a long time. Only you will know when it's your time to open your heart and home to another. When you are ready and you offer a loving and forever home to a deserving dog, he/she in turn will give you his/her devotion and loyalty, and both of you will believe you got the best part of the partnership.

 

Best wishes! And stay, enjoy, consult, and contribute to the boards - you've got family here now.

[Deanna in OR]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It is so hard to get through the death of one of our beloved dogs.

 

It's been 3-1/2 years since we lost Maile, and then Kashka a few months later--the two were the best of friends, only a couple of weeks apart in age, and now they are together at the Bridge. I just finally finished a memory photo quilt in their honor, now hanging in the living room. Perhaps creating some sort of memorial to Sam will help you to remember all the good times you shared.

 

We have had Tenaya (our BC) and Willow (our Collie) since a little after we lost the other two, and our lives are again enriched by sharing our home with our dogs. However much it hurts when the time comes to lose one, I cannot imagine living without a dog or two. Take good care of Bacon--they grieve for their lost friends, too.

 

"We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle; easily and often breached. Unable to accept its awful gaps, we would still live no other way. We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan...."

--- Irving Townsend ---

 

Deanna in OR