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Rice cookies anti-recipe


Maja
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1. Develop a sudden urge for cookies.
2. Critically scan the contents of your cupboards making sure you don’t step on Bonnie.
3. Grab a package of marzipan bought on impulse at Aldi’s at a 60% discount and a tub of butter, making sure you don’t trip on Darinka.
4. After a brief consideration chuck the butter and the marzipan into the food processor.
5. Turn the processing thingy on and process until ready, watching the churning alongside Darinka in absorbed fascination.
6. Add the right amount rice flour, note how you don’t need to take Darinka’s paws off the counter anymore, and sigh thinking life is getting boring. Repeat point 5.
7. Think to yourself, “dang it, forgot about the egg!” repeat point 5 and rub your aching knee after you tripped on Bonnie when taking the egg from the fridge.
8. Attempt to take the dough out of the food processor. At the critical point when you are holding it with both hands notice the presence of two canine paws on the counter. Dump the dough back in the food processor. Wash your hands, remove the paws, clean the counter.
9. Take the dough out again, form little balls and on a sudden impulse make small depression in each. Wonder why on earth you did that and what in the world are you going to put into the small depressions. Put the issue on hold by placing depressed balls in the freezer and going for a walk.
10. Looking at the early stage of blueberry maturation in the blueberry patch, remember about the nectarine sauce you had made earlier. Practice shedding with Bonnie.
11. Upon returning take the depressed balls out of the freezer, fill the depressions with nectarine sauce and place the whole kit'n'caboodle in the hot toaster oven until ready or until the smoke alarm goes off.
12. Take the whatchamacallits out and – to your great surprise – enjoy them.

 

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:) Gloria,you're brave! :)

 

Here is another ani-recipe, I wrote earlier (as you can see :)) :

 

Anti recipe for tasty rye-cookies:

Take a cardboard box with fructose . Remove Darinka's paws from the counter . Wipe the counter. Pour happily some of the fructose into a food processor called Kasia.

 

Toss in a tub of butter. Mix. Remove Darinka's paws from the counter . Wipe the counter. Wash your hands. Remove the butter. Pour the cranberries from Tesco. Remove Darinka's paws from the counter. Wipe the counter. Wash your hands.

After some consideration, come to the conclusion that you do not have enough cranberries and throw in some raisins. Remove Darinka's paws from the counter. Wipe the counter. Wash your hands.

 

On impulse, add a few pieces of apple that you were about to eat. Remove Darinka's paws from the counter . Wipe the counter. Wash your hands and give the apple peel to Darinka. Add everything to the butter with fructose. Insert two or a different number of eggs, mix. Add to the rest. Remove Darinka's paws from the counter . Wipe the counter. Wash your hands.

 

Add rye flour . Let Darinka out for a pee. Knead the dough in the bowl , shape into a rectangle and put into the refrigerator or freezer. Let Darinka back in.

When the time comes to remove the hard dough cube from the refrigerator, slice into thin cookies put on a baking sheet and bake for 10 minutes at a proper temperature. Tell Darinka to give back the coal lump she stole, throw out the rock she had brought in, give her a carrot and explain that no, we won't decide on whether she is to go into her crate by popular vote
.

 

Enjoy the cookies completely surprised they are actually edible :)

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Remove Darinka's paws from the counter . Wipe the counter. Remove Darinka's paws from the counter . Wipe the counter. Wash your hands. Remove Darinka's paws from the counter. Wipe the counter. Wash your hands.

 

Remove Darinka's paws from the counter. Wipe the counter. Wash your hands.

Remove Darinka's paws from the counter . Wipe the counter. Wash your hands. Remove Darinka's paws from the counter . Wipe the counter. Wash your hands.

Why don't you just wash Darinka's paws before you start? :P

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I opted for training Darinka to keep her paws off the counter :). But I never had such an "up" dog before and sticking her head into everything, even for a border collie she is amazing. When she was a pup she was curious about chickens that went inside the coop so she just hopped onto the roof (the coop is fairly low, but still...) .

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