Adopting A Rescue Dog

[BustopherJones]

There is an old cliché about becoming “sadder, but wiser”. I don’t know if I am any wiser, but I certainly am sadder, having learned the hard way that adopting a dog from rescue is a major undertaking, without any guarantee of success.

 

Those who have been on the board for a while know how much we loved Missy, and how we missed her after she crossed over in April; you may also recall that Missy came from a rescue situation (back in the days when adopting a dog from rescue was a lot easier). DW had said that, with Annie, one dog was enough, and that we would not get a second one. Well, I guess she is having difficulty adapting to only having one dog around. Over the weekend she softened to a point that she said she would consider a BC or BC-mix sister for Annie, provided that it came from rescue (in memory of Missy, who was a BC-mix) and that there was a special story behind it that would make us a special home for her. So I visited the New England Border Collie Rescue website yesterday, and lo and behold, there was Bree. If ever there was a hard-luck story that would have melted DW’s heart, it would have been Bree. Bree is a 2-year-old female BC that is apparently the product of a backyard puppy mill. She has a generic defect and is nearly blind. NEBCR indicated that cataract surgery to correct the defect would cost roughly $3,000. NEBCR noted that they would cover the cost of the surgery; but for such a great opportunity to really do something special for a dog that truly needed a loving home, I would have been happy to underwrite at least a portion of the cost out of my own pocket. THEN I looked at what was required to adopt a dog from NEBCR. What a shock! The process literally takes months, and could never be completed in time to acquire this specific dog. Even if I could complete the process successfully, I would then have to wait until a dog became available, and even then there is no guarantee that I would be selected as a home for a dog in which I was interested.

 

So, even with the above in mind, I started to look at what NEBCR’s standards are for a home in which one of their dogs could be placed. After reviewing their standards, I found that (from their standpoint) my home is probably unfit for a BC, even Annie. We don’t have a fence, we don’t have a lot of land, I am close to retirement age, we don’t have a lot of money, we already have a female BC, etc., etc., ad nauseum. Even if by some miracle I passed the application test and home visit requirement, I would be doomed by NEBCR’s policy: “It is our responsibility to place each of our dogs with the home best suited to them, regardless of the order in which applications are received.”

 

So, I would surmise that by BC rescue standards, the fact that I provide a safe and compassionate home, the best food available, the finest in veterinary care, and more love than a dog would know what to do with, does not necessarily constitute an acceptable environment. I understand that BC rescue organizations are acting in what they believe is in the best interests of the dog. But sometimes what a home has to offer goes far beyond what can be set down on paper. I guess I will just have to keep checking the Humane Society and the local dog pounds until a BC that needs us as much as we want her comes along.

 

I'm sure that I will catch flack from those involved in rescue for my post. It is certainly not my intent to criticize or demean the critical role that these wonderful people fulfill for our furry friends. But at the same time, perhaps it would help some people understand why in some cases prospective BC owners choose to bypass the rescue option when seeking to add another member to a family. Understanding this may enhance tolerance of those who post on this board and have sometimes been subjected to criticism for not selecting a dog from rescue.

 

Thanks for letting me vent.

[Indydog]

There is an old cliché about becoming “sadder, but wiser”. I don’t know if I am any wiser, but I certainly am sadder, having learned the hard way that adopting a dog from rescue is a major undertaking, without any guarantee of success.

 

Those who have been on the board for a while know how much we loved Missy, and how we missed her after she crossed over in April; you may also recall that Missy came from a rescue situation (back in the days when adopting a dog from rescue was a lot easier). DW had said that, with Annie, one dog was enough, and that we would not get a second one. Well, I guess she is having difficulty adapting to only having one dog around. Over the weekend she softened to a point that she said she would consider a BC or BC-mix sister for Annie, provided that it came from rescue (in memory of Missy, who was a BC-mix) and that there was a special story behind it that would make us a special home for her. So I visited the New England Border Collie Rescue website yesterday, and lo and behold, there was Bree. If ever there was a hard-luck story that would have melted DW’s heart, it would have been Bree. Bree is a 2-year-old female BC that is apparently the product of a backyard puppy mill. She has a generic defect and is nearly blind. NEBCR indicated that cataract surgery to correct the defect would cost roughly $3,000. NEBCR noted that they would cover the cost of the surgery; but for such a great opportunity to really do something special for a dog that truly needed a loving home, I would have been happy to underwrite at least a portion of the cost out of my own pocket. THEN I looked at what was required to adopt a dog from NEBCR. What a shock! The process literally takes months, and could never be completed in time to acquire this specific dog. Even if I could complete the process successfully, I would then have to wait until a dog became available, and even then there is no guarantee that I would be selected as a home for a dog in which I was interested.

 

So, even with the above in mind, I started to look at what NEBCR’s standards are for a home in which one of their dogs could be placed. After reviewing their standards, I found that (from their standpoint) my home is probably unfit for a BC, even Annie. We don’t have a fence, we don’t have a lot of land, I am close to retirement age, we don’t have a lot of money, we already have a female BC, etc., etc., ad nauseum. Even if by some miracle I passed the application test and home visit requirement, I would be doomed by NEBCR’s policy: “It is our responsibility to place each of our dogs with the home best suited to them, regardless of the order in which applications are received.”

 

So, I would surmise that by BC rescue standards, the fact that I provide a safe and compassionate home, the best food available, the finest in veterinary care, and more love than a dog would know what to do with, does not necessarily constitute an acceptable environment. I understand that BC rescue organizations are acting in what they believe is in the best interests of the dog. But sometimes what a home has to offer goes far beyond what can be set down on paper. I guess I will just have to keep checking the Humane Society and the local dog pounds until a BC that needs us as much as we want her comes along.

 

I'm sure that I will catch flack from those involved in rescue for my post. It is certainly not my intent to criticize or demean the critical role that these wonderful people fulfill for our furry friends. But at the same time, perhaps it would help some people understand why in some cases prospective BC owners choose to bypass the rescue option when seeking to add another member to a family. Understanding this may enhance tolerance of those who post on this board and have sometimes been subjected to criticism for not selecting a dog from rescue.

 

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

I think you should speak with the rescue directly instead trying to understand the policies that may not applicable in this situation.

[PSmitty]

So, even with the above in mind, I started to look at what NEBCR’s standards are for a home in which one of their dogs could be placed. After reviewing their standards, I found that (from their standpoint) my home is probably unfit for a BC, even Annie. We don’t have a fence, we don’t have a lot of land, I am close to retirement age, we don’t have a lot of money, we already have a female BC, etc., etc., ad nauseum.

 

Umm, maybe I'm not looking in the right place, but what made you think this? Just curious. I was checking out the NEBCR website and I don't really get it...specifically, regarding fences, they say:

 

A NOTE REGARDING FENCES:

We do not have a blanket policy requiring fences for all our dogs. Fences are required on a CASE-BY-CASE BASIS, depending on your living situation and most importantly, the individual dog. Those that DO require a fence, will be noted as such in their bios.

 

Here's the link:

http://www.nebcr.org/Adopting_a_Border_Collie.html

 

And I don't see "standards" for a home anywhere, just lots of things to think about, specifically for people who might not be experienced with border collies.

 

I'm not sure I follow why you're feeling this way. Yes, there are requirements, such as a home visit and lengthy application, but that is totally normal and to be expected. I mean, they do kinda *care* where their dogs end up. How about you talk to them before making such a snap judgement on rescue in general and this rescue in particular?

 

I just don't get it.

[G. Festerling]

Websites are public. A good website will state anything that they can think off. I

f someone finds a fault with this statement of mine - that is the way I choose to look at it. That way I don't judge or try to second guess to the point where I may not try to talk to someone in person. Therefore....

I would recommend you to pick up a phone and talk to someone in person. Then make your call from there.

Obviously your intentions are wonderful. If they don't consider your as a valid option, their loss. They will have their reasons. That does not make them right. They do the best they can. Right, wrong or indifferent. And yes, I have dealt with folks that seem to think that no one but them has the right or ability to own a dog....they are out there too. But 99% of the folks I have dealt with try to do their very best to make the best choice for the particular animal that they can.

You know you are a good person. That is all that counts. Although one should never ignore others completly, others do not define all about us either. Hope that makes any sense.

[MrSnappy]

I'm sure that I will catch flack from those involved in rescue for my post. It is certainly not my intent to criticize or demean the critical role that these wonderful people fulfill for our furry friends. But at the same time, perhaps it would help some people understand why in some cases prospective BC owners choose to bypass the rescue option when seeking to add another member to a family. Understanding this may enhance tolerance of those who post on this board and have sometimes been subjected to criticism for not selecting a dog from rescue.

 

 

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

So which is it? Are you venting, or are you looking for actual input? And if you are looking for actual input, why aren't you directing your questions to NEBCR? Aren't they the most likely source of information about their own policies?

 

It sounds to me like you're shooting first and asking questions later. You're basically criticizing a rescue for something it hasn't done yet - to whit, you're basically saying the rescue is going to deny you, and for that you blame the rescue. Never mind that is hasn't, uh, actually happened.

 

Even if by some miracle I passed the application test and home visit requirement, I would be doomed by NEBCR’s policy: “It is our responsibility to place each of our dogs with the home best suited to them, regardless of the order in which applications are received.”

 

Are you kidding? Did you just call rescue out for not placing dogs on a lottery system?

 

In fact, the rescue has not denied you - you haven't even bothered to speak to the rescue. You just came here full of conjecture instead.

 

I am all for discourse on interesting subjects. Your invention of facts and scenarios is not very interesting, but it certainly is *weird.* It is impossible to treat this post seriously.

 

RDM

[Lenajo]

Why don't you fill out the application before you assume you will be denied....it makes a lot more sense. In the meantime while you wait you can look at other dogs and rescues. If you find the right dog before NEBCR does nobody will mind.

 

Since you obviously are very concerned, why don't you include a polite letter with the application specifically outlying how you will deal with the requirements you don't meet.

 

For example - where do you take the dogs for exercise since you don't have a fence? what will happen to the dogs if you die before them? etc.

 

In regards to requesting a specific dog, most rescues don't work that way. They need to meet you, talk to your references; as even the most detailed of web descriptions can't cover everything. Placing dogs with the right people is an art requiring a personal touch.

 

Basically, just because you want and are willing to care for a special needs dogs doesn't mean that specific dog you looked at will benefit from you. It's more than that. And I think you know that.

 

If you just want to get a dog without an experienced breed oriented back up in the process go to the pound, pick out a dog, and deal with whatever presents. (do that, but don't you dare complain here if you come up with problems that you can't deal with or don't want too)

 

If you want the support of a Rescue group that's evaulated and effectively placed hundreds of Border Collies in permanent homes you fill out the application and let them vet you out and suggest which, if any, of their dogs would suit.

 

The choice seems obvious to me.

[Withzia]

I've got a semi-related anecdote to share. A good friend of mine had a malamute puppy, her first dog, and things seemed to be working out. The puppy was a lot of work, but my friend thought she could handle it. In fact, she felt that she'd like to go ahead and get a second dog, an older malamute, and she contacted a malamute rescue organization.

 

Well, she soon discovered that the malamute rescue organization was not going to approve of her, and she was highly indignant. Here she was, an athletic stay-at-home-mom, already taking good care of one malamute. She'd already laid out a chunk of change on a new fence just for the puppy's sake. There were dogs out there needing homes, and yet a home as good as hers wasn't going to be approved. I heard this saga and thought to myself, well, that sounds like one breed rescue that really does go over the top in its requirements.

 

She ended up getting a lab-mix from a shelter as her second dog, and that dog turned out to be a wonderful fit for her family. The malamute puppy, as it grew up, was not such a good fit, and after lots of chewing destruction, neighbors' complaints about howling, and soul-searching she chose to re-home it. She's a conscientious sort, and so she screened potential adopters very carefully and found what seems to be a good home for it.

 

The moral of the story is not that every breed rescue knows best and has some kind of magical test for determining who will succeed with a particular breed of dog. It's rather that not every well-intentioned family is right for a particular breed or a particular dog, and that breed rescues have good reasons for collecting as much information as possible before placing a dog.

[Lenajo]

oh GOOD GRIEF

 

NEBCR has NOT turned this guy down. They, according to the complainer himself, don't even have an application for him.

 

Before we debate the merits of Rescue policies lets at least let the Rescue do something wrong first. Right now all they want is references and information. They exist to protect the dogs.

 

I know at this point I'd turn him down for my rescues. My number 1 reason would be because these dogs have had enough trauma without getting with an owner with too much attitude to fill out a couple of pieces of paper.

 

The malamute puppy, as it grew up, was not such a good fit, and after lots of chewing destruction, neighbors' complaints about howling, and soul-searching she chose to re-home it.

 

I've got news for you, that's a *normal* Malamute. So oh wait, the Malamute Rescue was RIGHT. And by their decision to refused an adoption they prevented a dog from having to go throught the trauma of an ill-matched home and rehome. The poor puppy didn't have such a luxury.

[Dal & Mad's Mom]

Bustopher I was tentatively rejected by Glen highlands due to the rule that it required my husband to be there and I knew that wild horse were getting hm there at that time.

 

I thought it a strange rule untill I had a rescue of my own and have actually had the situation where I placed a dog with a family who's husband travels and well the dog was returned. Bad match. I also made that mistake once with kids and again returned. There was a kid who they didnt tell me was afraid of dogs.

 

I have similar rule on the first/ best application gets the dog. People have tried a cash donation bribe????

 

I judge adopters on their past care of their dogs and then look at their situation to match to the dog. I may not have 50 questions on my application but, I usually find out all the same info from your vet or with you on the phone. It helps to make a good match.

 

Btw if you wanted to make a trip to the pocono's I probably have a great Bc/mix for you

[phej]

Hi BustopherJones,

 

I am with New England Border Collie Rescue, and I will be happy to answer any questions you may have about our application process. Feel free to PM me. Or better yet, you can contact us at our official email address that I am sure you came across while reading our website (info@nebcr.org). And just fyi, as others have pointed out, we do NOT have a blanket policy on fences, required amount of land, adopters' age, income or anything else for that matter. We have adopted out to people in apartments, to people in their 80's, to people without fences... it all depends on the particular dog and its needs. Our foster homes simply do their best to find a perfect home for each of our rescued dogs -- and yes, that means that sometimes, you will have to wait for the right match to come around even if you can provide a good home for a bc.

 

Petra

[Ninso]

I've got news for you, that's a *normal* Malamute. So oh wait, the Malamute Rescue was RIGHT. And by their decision to refused an adoption they prevented a dog from having to go throught the trauma of an ill-matched home and rehome. The poor puppy didn't have such a luxury.

 

I think that was exactly Withzia's point based on this paragraph:

 

The moral of the story is not that every breed rescue knows best and has some kind of magical test for determining who will succeed with a particular breed of dog. It's rather that not every well-intentioned family is right for a particular breed or a particular dog, and that breed rescues have good reasons for collecting as much information as possible before placing a dog.

 

Just trying to keep the record straight!

[Lenajo]

good catch, and I missed it. Sorry Withzia. I'm way too touchy about people who refused to deal with Rescues because of "too many rules and paperwork". Feel free to yell at me now.

[madvibes]

Hi Bustopher,

 

I think Petra said it well, but I just want to add that Bree is recovering nicely from her surgery!

 

Dan / NEBCR, Inc.

 

 

There is an old cliché about becoming “sadder, but wiser”. I don’t know if I am any wiser, but I certainly am sadder, having learned the hard way that adopting a dog from rescue is a major undertaking, without any guarantee of success.

 

Those who have been on the board for a while know how much we loved Missy, and how we missed her after she crossed over in April; you may also recall that Missy came from a rescue situation (back in the days when adopting a dog from rescue was a lot easier). DW had said that, with Annie, one dog was enough, and that we would not get a second one. Well, I guess she is having difficulty adapting to only having one dog around. Over the weekend she softened to a point that she said she would consider a BC or BC-mix sister for Annie, provided that it came from rescue (in memory of Missy, who was a BC-mix) and that there was a special story behind it that would make us a special home for her. So I visited the New England Border Collie Rescue website yesterday, and lo and behold, there was Bree. If ever there was a hard-luck story that would have melted DW’s heart, it would have been Bree. Bree is a 2-year-old female BC that is apparently the product of a backyard puppy mill. She has a generic defect and is nearly blind. NEBCR indicated that cataract surgery to correct the defect would cost roughly $3,000. NEBCR noted that they would cover the cost of the surgery; but for such a great opportunity to really do something special for a dog that truly needed a loving home, I would have been happy to underwrite at least a portion of the cost out of my own pocket. THEN I looked at what was required to adopt a dog from NEBCR. What a shock! The process literally takes months, and could never be completed in time to acquire this specific dog. Even if I could complete the process successfully, I would then have to wait until a dog became available, and even then there is no guarantee that I would be selected as a home for a dog in which I was interested.

 

So, even with the above in mind, I started to look at what NEBCR’s standards are for a home in which one of their dogs could be placed. After reviewing their standards, I found that (from their standpoint) my home is probably unfit for a BC, even Annie. We don’t have a fence, we don’t have a lot of land, I am close to retirement age, we don’t have a lot of money, we already have a female BC, etc., etc., ad nauseum. Even if by some miracle I passed the application test and home visit requirement, I would be doomed by NEBCR’s policy: “It is our responsibility to place each of our dogs with the home best suited to them, regardless of the order in which applications are received.”

 

So, I would surmise that by BC rescue standards, the fact that I provide a safe and compassionate home, the best food available, the finest in veterinary care, and more love than a dog would know what to do with, does not necessarily constitute an acceptable environment. I understand that BC rescue organizations are acting in what they believe is in the best interests of the dog. But sometimes what a home has to offer goes far beyond what can be set down on paper. I guess I will just have to keep checking the Humane Society and the local dog pounds until a BC that needs us as much as we want her comes along.

 

I'm sure that I will catch flack from those involved in rescue for my post. It is certainly not my intent to criticize or demean the critical role that these wonderful people fulfill for our furry friends. But at the same time, perhaps it would help some people understand why in some cases prospective BC owners choose to bypass the rescue option when seeking to add another member to a family. Understanding this may enhance tolerance of those who post on this board and have sometimes been subjected to criticism for not selecting a dog from rescue.

 

Thanks for letting me vent.

[stockdogranch]

Bustopher,

 

I think you need to look at it from NEBCR's perspective: they probably have a lot of dogs in various foster situations that they are trying to find good homes for. Not everyone on the planet is potentially a good dog owner, let alone a good BC owner, let alone a good owner for a special-needs BC. So they have to do some sort of screening. I think lots of times, on a whim, people think, "oh, let's go get a dog (or puppy)" without really thinking it through. So I believe part of the process is just making sure that the applicant has really given the whole idea some consideration. Filling out forms with references is part of that--it demonstrates some level of commitment. Secondly, the rescue really wants to make the placement of each dog the last placement for that dog, and the foster home is the one who knows that particular dog and what kind of home it would do best in. So of course it is up to them to decide, based on their first-hand knowledge of the dog, along with the information they can gather about the potential adopter, which they gather from the application, home check, and references. If for some reason you absolutely HAD to place one of your dogs with someone, wouldn't you do the same kind of information gathering?

 

A

[Root Beer]

Talk to the people at the rescue. If they don't approve you, they should be able to make it clear why. And they just might approve you.

 

You never know if you don't ask.

[Withzia]

good catch, and I missed it. Sorry Withzia. I'm way too touchy about people who refused to deal with Rescues because of "too many rules and paperwork". Feel free to yell at me now.

 

Oh, I was planning on it, with a dig or two about reading comprehension skills, but fortunately I read to the end of the thread myself and found your apology. If I contributed to the misunderstanding, it was because I was trying to tell the story in narrative form with the twist at the end--if you skip over the twist, you've missed the point.

[Tea]

I have adopted a number of rescue sled dogs, mals and two border collie dogs and I know that the aplication process can be kind of lenghty, especially if you do not type very fast! And I am kind of shy abourt this kind of stuff.

 

But all the rescue people I have met were kind, and explained things very well. Also they came in to help when there were questions.

 

And the people there at that rescue have put their hands out to you so to speak.

 

I have done wildlife rescue for a long time. But I guess I admire the dog rescue people the most.

 

I am glad that they are careful.

[Bo Peep]

Buster-

I'm glad you are trying to go through rescue. I have tried and failed with rescue, because I am always going to replace the dogs into service dog homes, and they would rather pick the homes themselves. There are other ways you can save a dogs life that are quite noble in itself. Have you looked into your local humane society?

 

I got Bailey there, a 2 time returnee, with medical problems that just missed being PTS and trained her and now she is serving as a hearing ear dog. My friend just called me, worried about some hair loss- it's shedding time and Bailey has a vet appt on Monday for another full blood panel for her low thyroid. Bailey is going to the beach this week-end. If I had not gotten her, she would have been dead and now she is serving a purposeful life and well loved.

 

Then there is Bliss, who I got off Craigslist, who was not getting any attention and was afraid of everything. Her previous, previous owners must have hit her with objects and she went into panic when balls or frisbees were involved. She is now playing and hopefully will someday retrieve and learn to help someone in a wheelchair.

 

So, other than rescue, there are other ways to help animals. The ones in rescue are safe. The ones at the pound are NOT. Don't forget your other options.

[BustopherJones]

Let’s see if I can address some of the issues that have been raised in response to my vent (and, yes, in looking back with 20/20 hindsight, I will concede that I was probably venting more than I was thinking rationally).

 

Was I too quick to jump to conclusions?

Probably. My perspective was tainted by a recent disastrous experience where my son was trying to adopt a dog from rescue. One could not have asked for a better environment. My son and his family share my love of animals. They have a fenced-in yard, my daughter-in-law is a stay-at-home mom, they have two younger children in the home, they have an older dog, etc. After going through the application process, they were asked to bring the kids and the other dog to meet the prospective adoptee. They all got along very well, and the kids fell in love with the dog. The family thought that everything was set. But when they called to follow up, they were told that, despite the fact that theirs was the first application, the group had decided to give the dog to another family; they did not provide an explanation as to why. My grandchildren were shattered. After seeing my grandchildren crying over the incident, I was perhaps jaundiced about intractable and unreasonable rescue groups. (They ultimately went to the Humane Society and got a dog with virtually no hassle; that dog is the “Roxie” that I posted about earlier.)

 

Did I infer too much from the website?

Perhaps. Keep in mind that a website is the first interface that one encounters. The information contained therein created a very stringent perception on my part of what is required of prospective owners. But it could have presumptuous to overlook the fact that there may be a level of flexibility that would belie this perception.

 

Was my rant unfair to NEBCR?

Hindsight says yes. I recently encountered someone in Maine who had adopted a dog from NEBCR, and was very complimentary. But her adoption was several years ago, and apparently the process was easier in those days.

 

“I know at this point I'd turn him down for my rescues. My number 1 reason would be because these dogs have had enough trauma without getting with an owner with too much attitude to fill out a couple of pieces of paper.”

I guess that one of the prerequisites for being a BC owner, from this perspective, is that the owner can never make a mistake in judgment, even if that owner is willing to admit his/her error in a public forum, regardless of the embarrassment involved. Apparently, all of the other ways in which that owner has participated on this board, and the decades of loving devotion, a good home, and meticulous veterinary care that the owner may have devoted to pets, are irrelevant; let’s just judge the fitness of people to own pets based on the content of one ill-advised post on a message board.

 

“It is impossible to treat this post seriously.”

You’re probably right. People make mistakes; that is why God put erasers on pencils.

 

Do I wish I hadn’t made this post?

Yes, but one cannot undo a mistake; all one can do is admit that it was a mistake and apologize. And so I offer my sincere apology to NEBCR, and to anyone else that I offended.

 

Finally, to those who responded to my post with reason and consideration, I appreciate your tolerance and allowing me some degree of leeway because you viewed this mistake within the context of all of the other (hopefully positive) participation that I have contributed to this board. Thank you for your understanding and patience.

 

And to those few who responded with ridicule and malicious comments, I am encouraged to see that there are perfect people in this world who never make a mistake themselves, and thus are eminently qualified to sit in judgment on the rest of us mere mortals.

[nowwown]

Finally, to those who responded to my post with reason and consideration, I appreciate your tolerance and allowing me some degree of leeway because you viewed this mistake within the context of all of the other (hopefully positive) participation that I have contributed to this board. Thank you for your understanding and patience.

 

And to those few who responded with ridicule and malicious comments, I am encouraged to see that there are perfect people in this world who never make a mistake themselves, and thus are eminently qualified to sit in judgment on the rest of us mere mortals.

 

You are a great writer! If you aren't a writer by profession you should be! I love your last line, great way to say what you did!

[bc4ever]

Let’s see if I can address some of the issues that have been raised in response to my vent (and, yes, in looking back with 20/20 hindsight, I will concede that I was probably venting more than I was thinking rationally).

 

And to those few who responded with ridicule and malicious comments, I am encouraged to see that there are perfect people in this world who never make a mistake themselves, and thus are eminently qualified to sit in judgment on the rest of us mere mortals.

 

Wow. Been there, done that. I posted a reply in August that got a lot of negative feedback and I was surprised at the level of animosity I received, considering some posts I've read that were much more inflammatory on other topics. I apologized in a later post, but frankly, I've been hesitant to offer my opinions or "amateur advice" ever since.

[MaryP]

Probably. My perspective was tainted by a recent disastrous experience where my son was trying to adopt a dog from rescue. One could not have asked for a better environment. My son and his family share my love of animals. They have a fenced-in yard, my daughter-in-law is a stay-at-home mom, they have two younger children in the home, they have an older dog, etc. After going through the application process, they were asked to bring the kids and the other dog to meet the prospective adoptee. They all got along very well, and the kids fell in love with the dog. The family thought that everything was set. But when they called to follow up, they were told that, despite the fact that theirs was the first application, the group had decided to give the dog to another family; they did not provide an explanation as to why. My grandchildren were shattered. After seeing my grandchildren crying over the incident, I was perhaps jaundiced about intractable and unreasonable rescue groups. (They ultimately went to the Humane Society and got a dog with virtually no hassle; that dog is the “Roxie” that I posted about earlier.)

 

I see this argument all the time and I don't understand why people feel such a sense of entitlement over a dog that is not theirs to begin with. Rescue is not about first come, first served. It's about placing the dog in the best home, as the rescue sees fit. You are convinced that your son (or in your case, you) provides the best home, but you know nothing about the other people who may have also applied to adopt the dog. You, for obvious reasons, know your son and his family really well and can't understand why a rescue wouldn't chose them above all others. But, the rescue has to make judgements based on the application, references, home checks, interviews, etc. They have to weigh all the information and decide where the dog would best fit. It's not a slap in your face if they don't chose you. It just means that they thought another home was a better fit.

 

As far as your grandchildren getting upset, that is unfortunate. But, it's not the rescue's fault or responsibility to make your grandchildren happy. It's the rescue's responsibility to place the dog in the best home, as they see fit. If your grandchildren got upset, then I'd guess that their parents did not explain to them that there was a possibility that the dog would not be coming home with them. The best applicants that I've had that have children have constantly reminded the kids throughout the entire process that they are interviewing for the dog and that the rescue will choose who the dog gets to go live with. That, of course, doesn't guarantee that the children will not still get upset if they aren't selected. After all, they are kids. They don't have the maturity to keep their emotions in check. But, I'll bet that once they did adopt their dog, they forgot all about the incident with the rescue dog.

[MrSnappy]

Wow. Been there, done that. I posted a reply in August that got a lot of negative feedback and I was surprised at the level of animosity I received, considering some posts I've read that were much more inflammatory on other topics. I apologized in a later post, but frankly, I've been hesitant to offer my opinions or "amateur advice" ever since.

 

IIRC, exactly two people responded 'negatively' to your post and I don't think it's exactly haunting you. Bringing it up repeatedly just reminds people of it, and I guarantee you it was so minor that no one really remembers it. Maybe try letting it go, and donning a thicker posting sweater.

 

Bustopher, I apologize if you think I was "judging" you for what you perceive as a "mistake." However, we are going to have agree to disagree on what constitutes a mistake because IMO, it's pretty darn hard to 'accidentally' post a rather large rant full of conjecture and invented scenarios aimed at a (very good, incidentally) rescue organization that has no actual basis in fact. I saw you judging a rescue for things it didn't even do, and I respond strongly to that. My experience is that, for whatever sociological reason, people like to believe the worst about people who are trying hard to do good (ie rescues) and I hate to see good reputations potentially tarnished by complete nonsense.

 

*Dons super cape and flies off*

 

RDM

[BustopherJones]

RDM, you might want to re-read my post. At no time did I say that I "accidentally" made this post. What I did say was that it was an error in judgment, and a mistake. And I openly conceded that I was unfair to NEBCR. Further, if you consider history on this board, you will recall how many times I have been an advocate of rescue, and encouraged people to select dogs from that source. In that context, you could have made your point by noting that my rant was out of character. I would infer from your comments, however, that I am not the only one who "like(s) to believe the worst about people..."

 

Enough said...

[MrSnappy]

In that context, you could have made your point by noting that my rant was out of character.

 

That would be an interesting way to approach every new topic that someone starts of their own volition. I'll keep that in mind!

 

But as I said, we'll just have to agree to disagree.

 

RDM