Our beloved Angel of 15 years

[Gary_and_Karen]

I remember when we lost a beloved kitty, the first of either our adult lives, I thought I had never known grief like that before. I was so unprepared for how painful it was. Reading your posts reminds me of that time and I'm very sorry that you've lost your friend. It doesn't make it any easier, but you absolutely made the right decision. Peace on you and your family.

 

Thanks for the kind words, yes the pain can even seem overwhelming at times, and when it is sudden and unexpected it makes it extra tough to handle because it hits you all at once since you were not expecting it when your pet seemed healthy and acted fine right up to that very day.

[Gary_and_Karen]

I think about this often. We lost our first Border Collie, Ralph, 32 years ago. He was a great dog, the best dog we have ever had. We didn’t know how good he was because he was our first Border Collie. We were young and ignorant… if we only knew then what we know now. I still second guess whether we should have put him to sleep. It’s the hardest single decision you will ever make. We brought his body home and buried him in the back yard next to the house by our bedroom wall. We were both crying over his grave that day and agreed that this was just too hard to go through again and it might be a year or more before we could even think about getting another dog. The next night at diner it was quiet, too quiet. Our resolve eased and we discussed getting another dog in a few months when we were finished grieving. I came home from work the next evening to find my wife crying, she was lonely there was a big hole in our hearts and lives. She needed a dog, WE needed a dog. The only way to fill the void was with another dog. And thus began the search for our second Border Collie.

 

I must tell you that I love this breed of dogs. I am a volunteer with All Border Collie Rescue in Texas. Working with the people in our Rescue has been one of the most rewarding experiences in my life. We are in our fourth year as a rescue. We have no building, no kennels, we have approximately 30 volunteers, every one of our dogs is individually fostered. Already this year we have taken almost 300 dogs into our rescue and adopted out over 230. When you are ready and considering your next dog, think about adopting a rescue (Border Collie, of course). There are reputable Border Collie Rescues all over the United States. It’s true what they say, these dogs have a sixth sense, they know when they have been saved and they respond in kind. It is something you will never regret.

 

Thanks so much for sharing that, that was a very touching story that hits so close to home as my wife and I have just gone thru the same basic series of emotions over the past couple days and have already checked a local shelter for a Border Collie (they have our number if one shows up that fits what we are looking for), and we also applied online with a Border Collie rescue group based in our state and are hoping they might be of help and we are waiting to see if they can help.

 

We definitely agree with you about Border Collies, once you had one in your family you absolutely prefer sticking with them. We would like a female (with the traditional black/white coloring simular to our Angel) that is still fairly young, perhaps no more than 1 to 2 years old as we don't want to go thru again what we just went thru for as long as possible.

[Jeri Jessee]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had to put my Reno boy to sleep last year at 15 after an extended illness. I have second guessed myself several times but you really just cannot do that. You sought the counsel of your vet and based on the best information you had, you did the right thing. You clearly loved her and wanted the best for her.

 

I thought I could never love another dog...but my life was so dark without my Reno that I only lasted a week and I got Maggie...she was even born on his birthday so I knew it was meant to be.

 

Run free, Angel...and best wishes to your family..*hugs*

[Gary_and_Karen]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had to put my Reno boy to sleep last year at 15 after an extended illness. I have second guessed myself several times but you really just cannot do that. You sought the counsel of your vet and based on the best information you had, you did the right thing. You clearly loved her and wanted the best for her.

 

I thought I could never love another dog...but my life was so dark without my Reno that I only lasted a week and I got Maggie...she was even born on his birthday so I knew it was meant to be.

 

Run free, Angel...and best wishes to your family..*hugs*

 

Thanks, it is so good to have found this board where there are others who truely understand the deep intense grief that comes from losing our beloved pets. Again this morning Angel was the first thing on my mind as I woke up and it didn't take long before I was sobbing in pain.

 

I understand about wondering if you could ever love another dog, you don't want to suffer that pain of loss again in the future, (but you would then miss all the many years of love and joy before then), you feel like you would be betraying the pet you just lost, (that concern was lovingly addressed with the "your dog's last will and testament" post earlier), you even wonder if it would be fair to the new dog, would I look at her and keep thinking "you're not Angel" (I still talk to Angel and told her she would always be number one in our hearts and that we felt that as much love as she had that she would want us to share our love with another dog).

 

Everyone's post is so very much appreciated, and there seems to be a trend that as hurting as you all were when you lost your beloved pet, it was better to find a new one sooner rather than later and that you were glad you did and it really helped you keep your sanity.

[KrisK]

When I lost my Brandy, I was living alone and the house was so empty that I couldn't stand it. I found my Jazz and 8 weeks later, I had my first border collie. He was a lifesaver and though I mourned Brandy's death, I had to focus on this crazy energetic puppy.

Last April, I lost my miniature schnauzer, Zachary at 17 1/2. I have two other dogs at home and had no real intentions of getting another. But as fate would have it, Flint my new puppy, was born just after Zachary's death and it seems to be right. I had thought to get a rescue, but it didn't work that way this time.

So once again, a puppy came into the house to fill a void. I still miss all the dogs that have lived with me...but the pain is replaced by an overwhelming sense of joy for having had them here. And the funny thing is...when I'm missing them the most, one of their pictures will pop up on my computer screen its just a reminder that they really are always with me.

You will know when it is the right time to welcome a new dog into your home - and it will be the right one for you. For now, know that your grieving is something many of us have experienced - and time does heal the wound.

 

this essay also was a help to me...

Where To Bury A Dog

There are various places within which a dog may be buried. We are thinking now of a setter, whose coat was flame in the sunshine, and who, so far as we are aware, never entertained a mean or an unworthy thought. This setter is buried beneath a cherry tree, under four feet of garden loam, and at its proper season the cherry strews petals on the green lawn of his grave. Beneath a cherry tree, or an apple, or any flowering shrub of the garden, is an excellent place to bury a good dog. Beneath such trees, such shrubs, he slept in the drowsy summer, or gnawed at a flavorous bone, or lifted head to challenge some strange intruder. These are good places, in life or in death. Yet it is a small matter, and it touches sentiment more than anything else.

For if the dog be well remembered, if sometimes he leaps through your dreams actual as in life, eyes kindling, questing, asking, laughing, begging, it matters not at all where that dog sleeps at long and at last. On a hill where the wind is unrebuked and the trees are roaring, or beside a stream he knew in puppyhood, or somewhere in the flatness of a pasture land, where most exhilarating cattle graze. It is all one to the dog, and all one to you, and nothing is gained, and nothing lost -- if memory lives. But there is one best place to bury a dog. One place that is best of all.

If you bury him in this spot, the secret of which you must already have, he will come to you when you call -- come to you over the grim, dim frontiers of death, and down the well-remembered path, and to your side again. And though you call a dozen living dogs to heel they should not growl at him, nor resent his coming, for he is yours and he belongs there.

People may scoff at you, who see no lightest blade of grass bent by his footfall, who hear no whimper pitched too fine for mere audition, people who may never really have had a dog. Smile at them then, for you shall know something that is hidden from them, and which is well worth the knowing.

The one best place to bury a good dog is in the heart of his master

[Journey]

I am so sorry for your loss. From your tribute it's clear Angel was more than loved and that special place in your heart she will always hold. Run free Angel, Godspeed.

[Gary_and_Karen]

When I lost my Brandy, I was living alone and the house was so empty that I couldn't stand it. I found my Jazz and 8 weeks later, I had my first border collie. He was a lifesaver and though I mourned Brandy's death, I had to focus on this crazy energetic puppy.

Last April, I lost my miniature schnauzer, Zachary at 17 1/2. I have two other dogs at home and had no real intentions of getting another. But as fate would have it, Flint my new puppy, was born just after Zachary's death and it seems to be right. I had thought to get a rescue, but it didn't work that way this time.

So once again, a puppy came into the house to fill a void. I still miss all the dogs that have lived with me...but the pain is replaced by an overwhelming sense of joy for having had them here. And the funny thing is...when I'm missing them the most, one of their pictures will pop up on my computer screen its just a reminder that they really are always with me.

You will know when it is the right time to welcome a new dog into your home - and it will be the right one for you. For now, know that your grieving is something many of us have experienced - and time does heal the wound.

 

this essay also was a help to me...

Where To Bury A Dog

There are various places within which a dog may be buried. We are thinking now of a setter, whose coat was flame in the sunshine, and who, so far as we are aware, never entertained a mean or an unworthy thought. This setter is buried beneath a cherry tree, under four feet of garden loam, and at its proper season the cherry strews petals on the green lawn of his grave. Beneath a cherry tree, or an apple, or any flowering shrub of the garden, is an excellent place to bury a good dog. Beneath such trees, such shrubs, he slept in the drowsy summer, or gnawed at a flavorous bone, or lifted head to challenge some strange intruder. These are good places, in life or in death. Yet it is a small matter, and it touches sentiment more than anything else.

For if the dog be well remembered, if sometimes he leaps through your dreams actual as in life, eyes kindling, questing, asking, laughing, begging, it matters not at all where that dog sleeps at long and at last. On a hill where the wind is unrebuked and the trees are roaring, or beside a stream he knew in puppyhood, or somewhere in the flatness of a pasture land, where most exhilarating cattle graze. It is all one to the dog, and all one to you, and nothing is gained, and nothing lost -- if memory lives. But there is one best place to bury a dog. One place that is best of all.

If you bury him in this spot, the secret of which you must already have, he will come to you when you call -- come to you over the grim, dim frontiers of death, and down the well-remembered path, and to your side again. And though you call a dozen living dogs to heel they should not growl at him, nor resent his coming, for he is yours and he belongs there.

People may scoff at you, who see no lightest blade of grass bent by his footfall, who hear no whimper pitched too fine for mere audition, people who may never really have had a dog. Smile at them then, for you shall know something that is hidden from them, and which is well worth the knowing.

The one best place to bury a good dog is in the heart of his master

 

Thanks for all you wrote, and for the essay, someone who is not a dog person might not understand, and they don't realize the love and joy they are missing out on by not having a beloved dog as a family member.

 

I know the feeling about the house seeming so empty, occasionally I still find myself for a split second expecting that happy furry face to come prancing in from another room, or thinking I need to let her out for her first potty run in the morning.

 

At first you are hesitant about considering a new dog, but each day that goes by you feel more like it is the right thing to do, that the dog you lost would want you to share your love with another dog, then you start reaching a point where you wonder how long before you can find just the right new dog.

 

Even so, you still find yourself yearning to have your old friend back though :-(

[Gary_and_Karen]

I am so sorry for your loss. From your tribute it's clear Angel was more than loved and that special place in your heart she will always hold. Run free Angel, Godspeed.

 

Thank you so much, yes, my wife and I loved her so very much, and we truely considered her as family, not merely as a pet, she had so many unique and loving ways about her, and you suddenly become so keenly more aware of just how much they mean to you when they are no longer by your side.

[Gary_and_Karen]

It has been one week since we lost our beloved Angel and I still feel so extremely sad and empty.

 

We are looking for a new dog, one that looks as close as possible to our precious Angel.

 

I know we will continue to miss Angel until we see her again one day, but does getting a new dog help lessen the intense grief any sooner or at least make it easier to cope with the grief ?

 

It just seems like it could be an emotional roller coaster trying to enjoy the excitment of welcoming a new family member and at the same time fighting deep depression from the continuing grief of missing our beloved Angel.

 

I appreciate all the replies everyone sent so far to try to help us cope with our loss and I don't want to seem like a bother with still more questions, but this was the first time I went thru such a particulary painful devestating loss that comes from losing a very special unique dog that was part of our family for such an extremely long time.

[juliepoudrier]

I think timing for getting a new dog is really an individual thing. Only you can really know when you're ready. I personally would not wait long, but that's just me. One thing I would suggest is that you don't limit yourself to one that looks just like Angel. The new dog will be an individual. You don't want to find yourself trying to replicate Angel in another dog--let the new dog introduce you to its own unique attributes; being open to different border collies will help you to not constantly compare the new dog to Angel (and perhaps finding it coming up short).

 

J.

[Gary_and_Karen]

I think timing for getting a new dog is really an individual thing. Only you can really know when you're ready. I personally would not wait long, but that's just me. One thing I would suggest is that you don't limit yourself to one that looks just like Angel. The new dog will be an individual. You don't want to find yourself trying to replicate Angel in another dog--let the new dog introduce you to its own unique attributes; being open to different border collies will help you to not constantly compare the new dog to Angel (and perhaps finding it coming up short).

 

J.

 

Thanks J, I really do appreciate your concerns and value your experience and input. I definitely agree that I need to keep in mind that our new dog would have her own individuality and that it would not be fair to try to compare her to Angel, but rather to appreciate her for herself.

 

I do prefer the traditional black/white markings after being so used to it after 15 years, so while the outward appearance will of course remind me of Angel, I will also keep in mind that our new dog will be a unique individual in her own right and needs to be appreciated as such.

 

We so need to once again hear the sound of happy paws puttering around the house as our home seems so empty now, so we have started checking around but we're not sure how long it may take to find our new dog.

[KrisK]

Just to add to Julie's post - Jazz was a handsome traditional black & white with a heavy rough coat. I wanted my next BC to be the same, black and white, rough coat. Well, Flint is a tri colour and is more smooth coat. The only similarity was getting them as puppies and being males

The right one, will find you. Good luck with your search. Angel will always remain a part of your heart.

[Gary_and_Karen]

Just to add to Julie's post - Jazz was a handsome traditional black & white with a heavy rough coat. I wanted my next BC to be the same, black and white, rough coat. Well, Flint is a tri colour and is more smooth coat. The only thing similarity was getting them as puppies and being males

The right one, will find you. Good luck with your search. Angel will always remain a part of your heart.

 

Thanks Krisk, we are hoping for the right one for us to "find us" in that when we meet the right one we will sense that connection. We realize how very important this really is as we would be taking in a new family member, not merely "getting a new pet", and from what I have read so far on this forum, you all feel the same way.

[terrecar]

I don't have any suggestions but wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss. I lost a 15 year old male (the dog love of my life) and a 16 year old female in the last few years, and it is still painful to think about the loss. It does no good to second guess yourself. It is a painful decision, but only you and your vet know what is best for the dog. I hope you find the dog you want. As hard as it is to see them go, I am happy to see good dog owners open their homes to another when they lose their pet.

[Gary_and_Karen]

I don't have any suggestions but wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss. I lost a 15 year old male (the dog love of my life) and a 16 year old female in the last few years, and it is still painful to think about the loss. It does no good to second guess yourself. It is a painful decision, but only you and your vet know what is best for the dog. I hope you find the dog you want. As hard as it is to see them go, I am happy to see good dog owners open their homes to another when they lose their pet.

 

Thanks for the kind words, and sorry about your beloved dogs also, it is good to know there are so many dog lovers like yourself out there who view their dogs as family instead as just a pet. I knew our Angel was getting way up in years but it still came as such a shock since she was healthy and active right up to that happening. From the posts I have read it seems like even though some may last longer, that around 15 years or so seems like the limit for most dogs, that might not seem like much to us, but it's over 100 in dog years, but it still does not stop us from missing them so very much ! I understand what you are saying about not second guessing, you decide based on what the vet tells you (and you can only trust and hope your vet is right) - your mind realizes there is no other real choice - but your heart does not want to let them go ! We are actively looking for a new dog, but it is beginning to look like it may take longer than we hoped to find the specific type we are looking for. (I posted in the adoption section what we are looking for) No dog could ever replace Angel, but she had so much love for everyone we believe she would want us to share that love with another dog.